Taking Chances

Too Much of a Good Thing

What does it mean to truly love?

Is it to hold on to each other's hand and like two plants grow together under the warmth of the sun?

Or is it to let go so that he can become a soaring tree where he is meant to be planted?

These were the thoughts that hounded Sarah since the day that she asked Nic about the truth. Nicole wouldn't tell her at first, but later on gave in to Sarah's desperate pleas.

She learned about the drivers' training program that was being opened to Matt; the first time that it was being offered to a Filipino. After completing the training, he had a real chance of making it to the F1 and become a hero for his country.

She researched Matt's racing history. She asked around his friends and family, searched the Internet for old articles on him as a driver, and even tracked down his coach in Cebu.

What she learned shook her to the core. She's always known that racing was his hobby growing up and that he had a few championships under his belt.

But she didn't know that Nicole's offer is indeed the accomplishment of his and his dad's dream. He started training when he was 5, his das spending a fortune on his training. When he was 11, he started to join international competitions hoping that he could get the attention of the prestigious racing clubs. He won one trophy after another, but somehow luck never came to his side.

Thinking that he had failed, he turned his passions to acting and singing when the doors of showbusiness opened for him when he was 16. His dad was heartbroken. But both of them believed that the opportunity to become a pro racer would never come.

And now he was a step away from reaching his dream. Who was she to get in the way of that?

She felt like a zombie this past week. Matt never contacted her. She felt lost. She's completely forgotten how to live without him. But there was a sense of accomplishment knowing that during this time of solitude, Matt would be forced to seriously think about the opportunity. It was the only thing that kept her from running to him and begging for forgiveness.

So she marched on from day to day like a wounded soldier who was battling for something greater than herself. Her staff felt the difference but kept their silence. Even Bernard wouldn't dare to ask her about the air of sadness that suddenly enveloped her.

Finally after 7 days of agonizing silence, the face that she adored with her entire soul presented himself at her doorstep. She groaned inwardly at the eyebags around his eyes and how he became thinner in such a short span of time.

"Good evening po, Tita, Tito. Sorry I wasn't able to visit sooner. Sobrang naging busy lang." He smiled apologetically as he greeted Sarah's parents.

"Narinig nga namin na may opportunity ka abroad. Aba that's extravagant!" her dad exclaimed, wanting to display his English skills which he secretly practices for her daughter's behalf.

"Oo nga Matt, sobrang proud kami sayo. Deserve mo yan at talagang napakabait mong bata." Sarah's mom gushed. "Kaya lang malulungkot kami pag umalis ka nako... Mamimiss ka namin."

"Thank you po," Matt smiled but with a hint of sadness. "Mamimiss ko rin po kayo lahat."

Sarah's eyes widened but she didn't dare to give herself away. Her heart fell and it took all she can to stop herself from crying.

"So it's a deal na!" Her dad cried. "Wow congratulations anak. I'm happy for you."

"Nakakatuwa naman... Ay nako kailan ang lipad mo?" Her mom asked.

"In 3 days po." Matt's looked at Sarah who just now turned her back against everyone pretending to get something in the kitchen. "Kasi magsstart na yung program, kailangan ko na raw pong umalis agad."

In the midst of the expression of sadness at his sudden departure Matt had to excuse himself to run after Sarah.

She was now sobbing uncontrollably in the kitchen. He wanted to cry as well. He held her by the elbow and turned her to face him.

"Oh my God tart. I'm sorry...." Matt whispered.

"No Matt, I'm happy. More than anything these are tears of joy." Sarah replied not convincingly as she tried to smile underneath the tears that won't stop falling.

Matt closed his eyes as he held her close to him. How he missed her. These last 7 days were hell. There was not a minute when the thought of reaching out to her was off his mind. Even on that day in the hotel, it took all he had to not drive to her house and say sorry. But he had come to a crossroad in his life and he knew he had to face it alone.

Her parents saw them and understood that the couple needed to talk things through. Matt took Sarah out for a drive.

They drove in unbroken silence. Both were shellshocked at what was happening. There were so many feelings but no words to express them. They stopped at the bayside. There were no people out and the water was as still as the night. They sat beside each other on a concrete bench. He held her hand tight while tears silently fell down her face.

"I'm so sorry mahal." He quietly said. "I don't know what I just did. Para kong mamatay." 

Sarah put her free hand on his cheek. "I'm sorry that I'm acting this way. Malungkot lang ako na mawawala ka ng matagal. But what's best for you is what will truly make me happy."

Matt sighed and ruffled his hair. He stretched his long legs and let out a cry of despair. "Ang hirap. I realized that I want to go to Italy but then I don't because I don't want to miss a single minute of your life. Pano ba yon!"

What kind of self respecting man would pass up on a golden opportunity to make a name in the most prestigious racing competition in the world? But he Sarah was his world now and it killed him to give up the most special thing that he's found in his life so far.

"But I thought you know, I want to be able to say that I fought all my battles, so I could be a man worthy of you. And so I said yes." 

Sarah wrapped her arms around him. "You have nothing to prove, mahal. You're worthy of my love and more. Ayoko lang na isipin mo na maging hadlang sa pangarap mo. Ang pangarap mo pangarap ko din Matt. I want to see you succeed in what you love."

"Two years isn't a long time right tart? You will wait?" Matt asked, caressing her cheeks. 

"I'll wait for you and I'll be your biggest fan. I'll come to you whenever possible. We will find ways to be together. I promise you Matt Matt..."

"How can I live without you beside me mahal..." He cried, pulling her close in a crushing embrace.

"I will be with you every step of the way." Sarah replied in between sobs. "We will make it work mahal."

Underneath the stars they cried and held each other close while the wind rustled through the trees, and the sky lights shimmered in the water.