Blood Memories [Last of Elves book 1] (NaNoWriMo 2014)

Seventeen: Naameh

Naameh

It is closer. The goddess gifted me with a glimpse of what could happen if he succeeds.

And if he fails.

I am scared. There is more than our world riding on his actions. More than the lives of every single person. More than his life.

My life rests on his actions. I am the link to the goddess. If I die … If I die without naming a successor … The whole link will die with me. Leaving us alone.

I cannot abandon the people. I have to do anything I can to help them. Despite being hidden away, shut up in the temple, the people call to me. They are fearful, and I can feel their fear. I have to – need to – calm them.

He is the only way.

I fear how the people will take him. I fear how they will react. After all, he is an elf. The last true blood. The last link with the earth.

The people don’t remember the elves. They don’t remember how the land flourished, how happy they were. All they remember is the Great Famine. Where the elves were to blame.

But it only made it worse. With the elves gone; dead or in hiding; the land suffered even more. The goddess could do nothing. Could only watch as the land and people suffered. Hopefully, they stay calm enough to see what he can do. I hope they trust me. They have to trust me. Somehow, I – we – have to make them see. The only way they will all survive is if they remember the elves again, even though he is the last.

I fear that they won’t listen, even to me. I fear that the only way to make them understand, is … is to make him appear as a captive. As if he was going to be killed.

I can’t.

I cannot do that. Disregarding the fact that he is the key to our world, I … I’ve found I have feelings for him. I don’t know why, and I don’t know if he feels the same, but I cannot bear to even think about restraining him again.

Not when I saw what it did to him last time.

I believe he nearly died from that. Nearly died from being shut away in the stone room, his freedom a mere whisper of a memory. I don’t know why I did it, only that something made me. I can only hope that it was the goddess, and that the experience was meant to be.

If not … I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for what it did to him. It changed him. He’s more withdrawn, even more quiet than what he was. He speaks even less, and I can’t read his expression. Not that I could in the first place, but it’s like he’s closed off. Like he blocked everything out.

I know he’s hiding something. There’s something that he’s not telling me. I don’t know if it is important, or hazardous to what he knows he has to do. But I have to know. Nothing can go wrong.

I don’t know what I’ll do if he doesn’t tell me.

I want to know what he meant when he said my charm had drawn him to the temple. It is only small, only a plain silver charm that I wear around my ankle. I’ve seen the leather thong he wears around his neck, and I suspect that he has his own charm on it. I want to know whether it is the fire as well. If it is … I don’t know what I will do.

I don’t know if that means he spoke the truth about not believing in the mother goddess or not. I don’t think he would lie to me … which then means that the goddess is not the only deity, as I was taught. There’s the earth as well.

Part of me wants to reject that, wants to insist that there is only the mother goddess, and there cannot be another deity.

But another part of me wants to learn more about the earth. Why the elves follow the earth, as the legends say. Despite what he said, he didn’t make it clear it if was true. I want to know. I’m always searching for knowledge, things that I never knew, and never thought about.

He’s so different to us humans. I want to learn all I can about him, about the elves. The books that we have are hundreds of years old, and I’m sure that most of the records are wrong. The only problem is getting him to talk.

He hates me.