jojo's bizarre adventure one-shots (requests CLOSED)

(REQUEST) pillar men x neko!reader

title: are you sure

requested by @AmethystTiger
these stories make me a bit uncomfortable but whatever

It was cold, Kars noted, and the noise of the draft under the door bothered him greatly. The constant howl and coldness that plagued his feet annoyed him, and he was close to snapping and destroying that door altogether. Upon looking out of the window, he found that it wasn't raining, but the sky was dark grey and the wind had almost blown the surrounding trees down.

     Perfect weather to catch a human in, Kars decided.

     He began his march down the stairs and out of the grand doors leading to the outside world. It wasn't sunny outside at all, and it was almost late in the evening too, so Kars wasn't putting himself in any dangers at all. The leader of the Pillar Men stood proudly at the top of the outside stairs of the hotel, and looked out towards the town of St Moritz. It was rather pretty, he'd give it that; but he wasn't really looking for a pretty town to stay in. After all, he was hiding the Red Stone of Aja from Lisa Lisa and Joseph Joestar.

     The wind suddenly stopped, and all that could be heard was the slight rustling of the leaves. There was no breeze, so Kars was sure that there was some sort of animal hiding around. However, he wasn't picking up on an animal at all, nor was he picking up on a human. In fact, he was picking up on something entirely different.

     Kars began to head towards where the rustling was coming from. It was behind a few hedges and through a few trees, and soon he managed to pinpoint the spot where the sound was first made. A trail of misplaced leaves lead Kars away from the spot and towards wherever the creature had moved to. It hadn't moved far, though, because Kars had found himself face to face with a...

     ...wait, what the hell is that?!

A girl was stood directly in front of him, wearing a creased, blue dress over a purple sweater. They were dirty, too. You didn't wear any shoes, nor did you wear gloves. Your hair was wet with the rain, as you weren't wearing a hat, but rather cat ears.

Or, those were presumably a headband. Kars knew that there were a few people out there who actually had ears like that.

But what surprised him was the collar around your neck. It had a single tag on it, which read 'Kitten' in bold letters. Seeing that you weren't going to move, Kars took the tag between his forefingers and felt it. The name began to scrub off. He let go, and looked you in the eyes again.

You visibly gulped and Kars saw that your legs were shaking. Your mouth moved as though you were about to say something, revealing your small yet sharp-looking fangs, but you ended up closing it again.

     (I wrote the whole thing in third person, and then realised that it didn't really sound like it was about the reader...)

     Kars sighed. You didn't seem that competent, so he began talking first.

     "What are you?" He demanded, putting a hand on his hip, "and why are you here?"

     You gulped again, and clenched your fists out of nervousness. "I don't know," you quietly stammered, "I don't know, I don't know, I don't know."

     He tutted, how useless.

     But somehow, he found it in him to pity you, and began walking away. Noticing that you weren't following, he turned around and gestured for you to follow. Eagerly, like a cat would, you scampered after him, and followed behind him nervously.

——

     The other Pillar Men were equally as confused as Kars was. You were just as confused too. You continued to shiver in fear as the Pillar Men looked you up and down.

Esidisi scratched his face in thought. "Kitten," he read, "how strange."

Wamuu nodded and walked around you in a circle. "Master Kars, why did you bring this creature home?"

"I'm not a 'creature'!" You cried, your fear suddenly disappearing, "I'm a girl! I'm a human person! I'm sure of it!"

"'I'm' this, and 'I'm' that. You sure don't look like a human." Esidisi began pulling at one of your ears. You yelped and pulled back defensively. "Sensitive like a cat, too," he noted. He turned his head so that he could see your tail peeking under your dress and scratched his face again. "Weird."

     Wamuu nodded in agreement. "What a peculiar thing."

     You rolled your eyes at the word 'thing' but decided to say nothing. 'Kitten' shivered again when Kars lifted your chin up and glared right into your eyes. "What do you want from us?"

     "I don't want anything. Honestly. I have no clue what I'm doing here." You paused for a minute and then continued, "well, I was running from the people in the village. They were yelling all sorts of things at me."

     Kars tutted. "Foolish humans." He looked back to the window behind him at the trees that were still blowing madly in the wind. The weather hasn't calmed down at all, and he couldn't help but feel like he was obliged to keep you in his house for the time being.

     She could prove to be useful to experiment on, Kars considered.

     "Master Kars," Wamuu interrupted again, "why have you brought this creature here?"

     You huffed. "I've told you time and time again! I am not-"

     "To experiment on," Kars calmly said, stopping you from yelling at Wamuu again. "We're keeping her."

     Esidisi blew air out of his nose amusedly. "Keep her? What, like a pet?"

      He nodded again. "Exactly."

     You snapped your head sideways to escape from Kars' grasp and frowned. You were 100% sure you didn't look angry at all - the cute little cat ears and the tail didn't help either. "I am not going to allow myself to be kept as a god-damn pet!"

     Suddenly, Wamuu and Esidisi stood behind Kars, and all three of them stood together with intimidating smirks plastered on their faces made you feel tiny compared to them. Kars' smirk grew and his hand reached out towards your chin again.

     "...are you sure, kitten?"