Secret Trio

Chapter 37

Hey guys! How are you?

I hope everyone is doing well. With this virus going around, I hope everyone is heeding whatever safety measures your country is implementing. Where I live its been four months that we've been under community quarantine. So in turn, its been four months since I've been out of my house. Why haven't I been able to update? With people not being able to go out, my volunteer work (video editing and such) has been wayyyyy busier since everything is now done online. But anyway, after so long I finally have an update. I'm sorry it took so long. I've begun writing the next chapter but I cannot assure you that I can finish it soon. Fingers crossed, I can update next week.

Comment your thoughts of what do you think will happen (before reading the actual chapter lol).

Stay safe.

Last Update. July 15, 2020

Not Edited.

ALENA

Get out of here. Fast.

That is what my instincts are telling me to do. From her styled hair, beautiful makeup, and sophisticated yet sexy dress, the insecure woman in me tells me I can never match her so I should run before I get hurt seeing Leo chose her over me. The mother in me tells me I should run because my angels could be hurt once they know of their relationship.

What is their relationship though? Is she a mindless lay?

"Lauren ..." Leo says without any hostility.

Lover? Girlfriend?

Does not matter, I have to protect my angels.

Doing my utmost best to keep my voice normal, I say "Leo you have a guest. We can grab a taxi and wait for you at the restaurant."

Leo's head immediately snaps towards me, his eyes seemingly pleading me to not do anything rash. He replies and hands me his car keys "No need. You can wait in the car, just give us a minute."

I was hesitant, but I didn't want to raise the kids' suspicion.

I take the keys and quietly lead the kids to the car as Leo pulls the woman beside the elevator.

"Mommy who was that?" Laila asks.

I could not stop the woman's sudden appearance from souring my mood. I mean ... I was not delusional to think that my dreams of the past would now become a reality. But what we had earlier was the closest thing to it that we could have. A cordial relationship between Leo and I ... working hand in hand to raise our three beautiful angels. That was enough to make me ... happy.

But I guess it is a good thing that reality has come knocking sooner rather than later. Leo has a girlfriend who may very well become his wife. What if I get a boyfriend?

"... come the time you allow another man to enter your heart, I will be there to make sure that man is worthy of you ... unlike me. It will hurt Alena. It hurts to have someone else holding you. It hurts even just thinking about it. But you have my word Alena once I make sure that he is worthy of you, even if you don't need it ... I will give both of you my blessing."

I could not yet imagine allowing another man in my life. But I am hoping that the baby steps I am making -- the act of considering it ... meeting Ryan ... making an effort of closure with Leo -- will eventually lead to that.

But right now Alena, you can only imagine having a family with Leo.

No. I shouldn't. I can't risk my heart again. Besides, he has a girlfriend.

"Mommy who is that?" Laila shakes me out of my thoughts as she repeats her question but this time with a pout.

At the same time, I feel small hands trying to encircle my hand. I look down to see Lucca looking worried as he says "Mom?"

I pat Lucca's head as I turn my attention to Laila."I do not know dear. Let's just wait for your Dad in the car okay? He said he wouldn't be long."

Suddenly, I feel another pair of hands holding my other hand. Like Lucca, Lei is also looking at me worriedly.

Uh oh, even Lei has noticed that something is off.

I force out a lighthearted laugh and say "What is wrong with you angels? I'm fine and Leo will be back soon so wipe off those looks and get your little butts in the car."

I give them books and gadgets to keep them busy, hoping to distract them from the view we had of Leo and the woman. Leo had his back to us so we had a clear view of the woman ... Laura? Lauren?

From what I could see, she was listening intently to whatever Leo was telling her. Then, a beautiful smile graces her face before she engulfs him with a big hug.

I look away, feeling a pang in my heart that I vehemently try to ignore.

No no no Alena. He is not yours. Now, maybe you can consider him a friend. But nothing more. He is only the father of your children. The father whom I warned to keep his women away from my children.

Anger then courses through me, which I readily accept. I would rather anger than jealousy. Anger is justified. But jealousy ... jealousy I could not explain. Jealousy would mean there was still something between Leo and I.

And whatever that something is, I am not ready to accept or even acknowledge its existence.

Buried in my thoughts, I was surprised when the car door suddenly opened. Leo sits himself in the driver seat then says "I'm sorry for the delay. So where are we having lunch?"

Silence fills the car. A few seconds pass before Laila asks "Who was that woman Daddy?"

Leo answers Laila while looking at me with a strained smile "Her name is Lauren, princess. She's a friend." He pauses then quietly adds for only me to hear "... just a friend."

Another rush of anger courses through me. This time for myself. Can he tell that I am affected by this Lauren woman?

"They said the usual pizza place. Shall we get going? I'm hungry." I say in an effort to steer the topic.

"I'm hungry too Dad." Lei seconds.

With a nod, Leo exits the parking. Contrary to this morning's ambiance, the car was filled with tension-ed silence. I do not make any effort to ease this, still reeling with anger for Leo and myself. Though the tension somewhat abated after lunch, the kids were still noticeably reserved towards Leo by the time we arrived home. Leo stayed, watching Naruto with the kids until it was time for bed. In fairness, Leo tried to reach out -- showing interest by asking questions once in a while. But I guess the kids were really affected by the appearance of this woman.

Serves you right. The selfish part of me thought.

But I was also worried for the kids, not knowing how this has affected them.

After Leo kissed them good night, I first went to Laila's room to give her a good night kiss.

As soon as I enter, Laila looks at me with a sad face. I rush closer to give her a hug. "What's wrong baby?"

She says with a sorrowful voice "Will Daddy be leaving us again Mommy?"

"Oh sweetheart, why would you think that?" I ask though I know the answer.

"He will go away with that girl right? He will leave us again." She answers, this time with tears running down her face.

I put her in my lap and pull her to an even tighter hug before responding "No baby, of course Leo won't leave you. He won't leave his princess behind." I say with certainty.

Leo may be with this woman but I have never doubted his love for his children.

"Then why did he leave before?" she asks.

I take a deep breath, thinking of how to answer. I thought that when we told Lucca, he would tell his siblings too. I guess he was playing the protector again, shielding the other two from something he thought may hurt them.

"Your father and I ... before we knew we had you ... we got into a big fight. Because of that we didn't talk. It had nothing to do with you or your brothers. Your father loves you. It would be the end of the world before he would ever consider leaving you." I pause then suggest "Why don't you talk to your Daddy about it? Sad, happy, or angry, he would like to hear what you are feeling."

My little angels wipes away the remaining tears before giving me a hug "I will Mommy.... I love you."

"I love you most my sweet angel."

After tucking Laila to bed, I make my way to Lei's room to find him already fast asleep.

Typical of my sweet boy.

I give him a kiss in the forehead then I proceed to Lucca's room. I stop my tracks when I hear voices inside.

"Dad you made Mom sad again. You said you would make her happy." Lucca says in a quiet, angry voice.

The door was not closed properly so from the small opening I could see Lucca standing by his bed, fists clenched, glaring at Leo. I couldn't see Leo's reaction as his back was facing me.

"I know my son. I'm sorry. I did not mean it. But still it's my fault." Leo responds remorsefully.

"You know Mom will be probably be crying in bed again." My heart clenches at Lucca's words.

Oh my dear boy, you shouldn't be worried about these kind of things.

Next thing I know, Lucca is running towards Leo and starts hitting him in the stomach. I am about to intervene but stop when I see Leo just pat him on the head instead of defending himself. This goes for God knows how long, but it feels like an eternity seeing the hurt in Lucca's face. Anger towards Leo fills me once again, seeing how much just the sight of his woman affected the children.

What more when he introduces him to them?

Of course if he marries her, they will have to meet her. But that should have been done with discretion. Like a surgeon when operating. Not like earlier.

I am brought out of my thoughts when I noticed Leo hug a now tired Lucca. Leo says "I know I made a mistake. Again. I assure you son that that woman is nothing to me. But still I hurt you and your siblings. I hurt your mother. I'm sorry."

"I take back what I said. You can't be Mom's boyfriend since you made her sad." Lucca answers while still in Leo's arms.

What? My boyfriend?

Leo chuckles as he kneels to be eye-level with Lucca. It is only now that I notice dried-up tears in my son's face.

Okay Leo you've done it. I thought, my anger slowing evolving to rage. He better be prepared for an earful after his talk with Lucca.

"Son, I won't deny that I am sad to hear that. I want to be your mother's boyfriend but to be honest, what I am focusing on right now is to be your father. A good father. My focus is on you and Lei and Laila. I haven't been in your lives long and we are still adjusting. I promised I would make up for the years I was not around so I am mad at myself for fucking up now and hurting you." Leo pauses realizing the word he used. He looks around then says "You did not hear that word. Your mother will kill me. You should not be using the word okay Lucca?"

Thankfully that seemed to lighten Lucca's mood. He laughs then says "I'm sure Mom will kill you Dad. But not because of that."

Leo sighs then answers "I know Lucca. I don't look forward to it but I will face it because I know its my mistake." He pats Lucca in the head again before continuing "But I want to assure you that I won't be going anywhere. And I will take responsibility for making your mother sad."

Lucca nods before asking "Who was that girl Dad? Is she your girlfriend?"

Leo shakes his head while saying "She's just a friend."

A few seconds of silence pass before Lucca, with his head down, says "I'm sorry for hitting you Dad." After which, he looks at Leo determinedly and continues "But I'm not sorry for hurting you since you hurt Mom."

"Don't worry son I understand" Leo answers with a chuckle. "And I always appreciate that you always protect your mother." He hugs Lucca then says "Are you ready to go to bed?"

Lucca nods in response. So Leo proceeds to tuck him in, giving him a kiss in the forehead. I open the door, pretending to have just arrived to hide the fact that I was eavesdropping.

"Oh your still here?" I say to Leo.

"Yeah ..." He answers hesitantly, probably trying to gauge my state of mind.

I make my way to Lucca. I kiss him in the forehead and say "Good night dear."

"Good night Mom."

Leo and I exit the room. The atmosphere between us is tense, with me fuming mad and Leo cautious. As we walk down the hallway I say sternly "Let's talk. Kitchen."

I walk ahead towards the kitchen, holding in the rage by making coffee. Leo enters and leans on the center island. I take a deep breath before asking "What is your relationship with that woman?"

"She's --"

"And don't mistake this for me caring. I want to know for the sake of my children." I interrupt to make things clear for the beginning.

"Our children. And yes, I understand." Leo clears his throat before continuing "She is someone I used to get my parents off of my back from constantly telling me to get remarried."

"Okay. Was it that kind of a relationship?" I say, trying to show no emotion.

Leo sighs then responds "We had sexual relations but that was it. A sort of friends with benefits. Both our parents wanted us to get married. We didn't want to. So we got together for that benefit. The sexual aspect was just an extra thing. But Ale --"

"Okay, stop. I understand now. So I will make myself clear." I interrupt, not caring to hear anything more.

"But Al--"

I keep my voice low, not wanting to wake the kids, but I make sure to slather my words with all the rage I am feeling "I do not care if you continue to have a relationship with her. Fuck her all you want. But unless you plan to marry her, keep her away for the children. I warned you to keep your women away from them and look what happens. Their hurt. Laila is crying. Lucca and even Lei, LEI who has no care in the world, is worried. So get your shit together or else you will have to leave forever. Do I make myself clear?"

Leo, with his head down, simply nods in response.

Too drained to do anything more, I leave the kitchen saying "You can see yourself out." As I leave, I didn't miss Leo remorsefully say "I'm sorry Alena."

Once in my bedroom, I course through my night routine, quickly wanting to just lay in bed.

Enveloped by the quietness, I could not stop my thoughts from running through today's event. Having been able let out my anger for hurting the kids, another emotion I tried to ignore rises above all the others.

Jealousy.

I always knew he holds a special place in my heart. He was my first love and father to my kids. But I did not realize until now how deep that 'special' ran.

Marina was one thing, Leo has always been upfront and clear he did not like her. But the thought of this other woman who Leo did not dislike being in his arms was eliciting this emotion I did not want, just like this morning,

I said I would take a step forward. Yes. But taking a step forwards Leo is too much. I am not ready for that. I have not even fully forgiven him yet. So a relationship more than being friends is a big NO.

Then how about a step forward towards Ryan? Maybe.

But at present, I just couldn't imagine myself walking down the aisle with a smiling Ryan waiting for me.

Baby steps Alena. Maybe start with thoughts of walking hand in hand with Ryan.

I sigh. All these emotions and thoughts are like a storm inside of me -- jealousy, anger towards Leo,  anger toward myself, insecurity.

I couldn't stop the tears from flowing with this emotional turmoil.

Why must my life be so complicated?

Suddenly the door quietly opens. I see Lucca walk in. Without saying a word, he climbs to my bed and hugs me from the back.

"Its okay Mom. I'm here. You don't have to be sad."

Hearing his words brings a new wave of tears. I turn to embrace him. A few minutes pass and Lucca says "I love you Mom."

"I love you m my little angel."

What do you think?