Why? - Bertholdt X Reader

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"You're the what?" You gasped in horror, stepping away from the man you thought you could love and trust. "Bertholdt please tell me you are joking. Bertl," you pleaded, eyes wide. 

When the tall male gave you no response but a simple, torn look, you knew what he had said was true, no matter how much you didn't want it to be.

"(F/N), I'm the Colossal Titan." 

The statement repeated itself over and over again in your head as you continued to back away from him.

Bertholdt did nothing to stop you, his own heart breaking as the girl he loved stared at him with a facial expression he would never forget. Horror, pain, and heartbreak was etched into your skin as you continued to step away from him.

Tears streamed down your face as memories of your family dying after the fall of Wall Maria. All because of the Colossal. No - all because of Bertholdt.

"(F/N), please, let me explain -"

"No," you whispered. "No. I can't believe you. I-I trusted you! Confided in you! You knew what happened to my family and yet you still let me fall in love with you? W-what the hell is wrong with you? Why?!" 

You could barely breathe as you shouted at him, your vision blurry from the amount of tears. You gave him no chance to respond and turned on your heel, running from the forest and back towards the trainee facility. 

~~~

It was the first day of joining the military and you were struggling already to make friends. Some faces looked friendly and inviting, while others did not. Your gaze swept across the field of new recruits as the Commander yelled in the face of one named Marco Bodt. 

You sighed internally. The Commander left Marco and continued strolling down the rows of recruits. His eyes trailed across many of the faces, yours being one of them. However, he did not bother any of you. He could see it in your eyes. 

You were all victims of the Shiganshina and Wall Maria incident. You were the ones that had seen those monsters up close and personal. 

When Commander Shadis was screaming at someone else, you allowed your eyes to sweep across the crowd once more in search of someone inviting enough to befriend. 

By the time dinner came around, you had managed to make friends with one person named Annie. You could tell she was the type to not really make friends, but for some reason the two of you clicked instantly and stuck together throughout the day. You sat down next to the blonde at dinner where two others were sitting. One blonde and very muscular, the other tall and dark haired. He seemed to be sweating a little bit. 

"Annie," you greeted as you sat down. 

"(F/N)," she responded just as simply. She noticed the curious glances cast in your direction and cleared her throat to gather the attention of the three of you. "(F/N), these are my friends Reiner and Bertholdt. Reiner, Bertholdt, this is (F/N)." 

You paused on the bread you were nibbling on and nodded at the two men. Reiner, the blonde, gave you a thumbs up, while the other one, Bertholdt, gave you a shaky smile and wave of the fingers. 

When Annie and Reiner dove into a conversation with each other, you locked eyes with Bertholdt. 

That was it. From that day on, you were a goner. 

~~~

"Are you sure? What if you're wrong?" You said, hands trembling as you and Annie walked down the hall towards the mess hall for lunch. It had been six months since joining the military, and you had grown quite a crush on Bertholdt. Annie, being the closest thing to a best friend, had found out and immediately teased you for it. 

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