Attack on One-Shots

Humanity's Rudest - Levi x Reader

"Hey Levi, have you finished those papers?" You hopped up and sat on your superior's desk while he worked. You crossed one leg over the other and stared at him.

The shorter man seemed to have no interest in you, though. You frowned and shifted more to the side, your leg outstretched along the length of the wooden table. As you shuffled your body over, you knocked over a pile of papers and sent them flying over where Levi was trying to write. 

He remained silent as he paused his work and looked at you in irritation. You gave him your best smile in return. 

"What?" He grunted and set his pen down. "Is there a particular reason as to why you're ruining my peace?" 

"I'm bored," you complained, sliding off of the desk and sitting in the chair in front instead. 

"Then go train with someone," Levi grumbled. He stood up and began putting the papers you knocked down back in order. 

You shook your head. "Hanji is busy experimenting with Eren, Eld and Gunther are probably making gay love, Petra is hiding from Auruo, who, by the way, is too busy bitching about biting his tongue again."

"So? What do you expect me to do about?" 

"I never said I expected you to do anything, sir."

For the second time in five minutes, Levi shot you an irritated glare; and just as you did the first time, you smiled at him. 

"Why don't you take a break? You've been working on these stupid papers all morning." 

"(F/N) if I agree to fucking train with you or something will you leave me alone for the rest of the day?" Levi snapped.

You smile widened even more. "You sir, have yourself a deal."

~~~

"Shit..." you groaned as Levi flung you onto the ground for the thirteenth time in a row. You had yet to get him down and it was really beginning to tick you off. 

"Whenever you've had enough," Levi said. He stared down at you with those piercing eyes of his. You forced out a pained laugh. 

"Not yet," you retorted, peeling yourself off of the dirt ground and getting back into a fighting stance. 

"This time I'll get him. Fourteeth try is the charm right?" You thought. You watched the corporal carefully as he waited for your first move. "Maybe if I tried a different angle..."

You shot forward suddenly in an effort to catch Levi off guard. You feigned left and when he went to dodge you, you shifted on the balls of your feet and landed a punch in his gut much to both you and Levi's surprise. 

You wasted no time in praising yourself. You moved quickly, swinging your leg around and behind Levi's legs while at the same time you thrust your elbow into his chest. His eyes widened and his mouth formed a small 'o' shape as he fell on his back. 

His shock became even more evident when he clamped his hand onto the sleeve of your jacket and dragged you down with him. 

You landed on top of the corporal, straddling his waist. Your hands seized the front of his shirt in surprise at the same time his own hands locked onto your waist to prevent you from fully falling on top of him. 

"Corporal!" You gasped. Your eyes widened at your position. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to, I didn't think that would actually work! I'm sor-"

"Oi, get off of me, brat!" Levi growled. You gaped at his sharp tone and looked down at his face. 

Where you expected to see anger and authority, you saw blushing cheeks and embarrassment. You bit down on your tongue to keep yourself from commenting and slowly crawled off of him. When you were on your feet, you brushed the dirt off of your white pants, all the while profanities rang throughout your head. 

"Right well," you scratched your head, not meeting Levi's eyes as he stood up and dusted himself off. "Thank you for, ah, training with me? I'll let you get back to your work now, sir." You awkwardly saluted and sauntered off.

"How fucking awkward could that have gotten?" You thought to yourself. 

"(F/N), hold on," Levi called. He jogged to catch up to you. Before you could turn around and ask him what he needed, you felt hands brushing down your butt. 

"Hey!" You yelped, turning around. You almost missed the small smirk on Levi's face as he stepped back. By the time your eyes locked onto his, his face was back to the same bored expression. 

"There was dirt on your ass," was all Levi said before he walked around you and back to the castle. 

~~~

It was nine days later that you spoke to Levi again. He was on one of his cleaning sprees. He assigned Eld and Gunther to washing the windows, Eren to the entire upper floor, and Petra and Auruo half of the bottom level. 

Due to waking up late, you arrived in Levi's office just as the rest of your squad was being dismissed. You skidded to a halt in the doorway, eyes confused as the squad filed out with their supplies. 

"(F/N)? What took you so long?" Levi asked as you stepped inside of the office. 

You smiled sheepishly and reached back to pull your shoulder length hair into a ponytail. 

"Sorry Corporal," you apologized. "I accidentally slept in late. What am I cleaning?" 

"Tch, I expected better from you. I've already assigned everyone to an area, but I guess you can help me with this half of the level." 

You blinked in surprise. Levi never let anyone help him because they always 'fucked up what he had planned for that bookshelf' or 'didn't clean properly and the way he wanted.'

You nodded nevertheless and tied the cloth around your mouth and nose to prevent any chemicals drifting in. Once you had the right materials, you begin furiously scrubbing at the dirty window.

It was only twenty minutes into the cleaning that you heard Levi swear under his breath. Curious, you pull the cloth down and turn to him just as he tossed an empty bottle into the trashcan. 

Levi looked at you and held his hand out expectantly, making you raise your eyebrows. 

"Uh... sir?" 

"Give me the fucking cleaner, (F/N)." 

You scoff at his lack of manners and half-assed throwing the bottle to him. It didn't go far thanks to your weak toss, and ended up spilling all over the floor. 

"Seriously?" Levi gave you a flat look as he pulled his cloth down from his face. "What kind of shitty throw was that?" 

You don't know where it came from, but you were suddenly feeling very brave and sassy as you put your hands on your hips and glared at the corporal. 

"Maybe if you said please I would have actually put effort in my throw, Corporal Levi sir," you responded, sarcasm dripping from your voice. A dark look came over Levi's features and he stalked towards you in what looked to be a threatening way. 

Your random spurt of courage had faded as Levi came closer. You were frozen in your spot as though you were facing a titan and not Lance Corporal Levi.

When he finally stopped a foot and a half away from you, you realized just how short he really was. You were taller than him by maybe four or five inches. 

The two of you engaged in a staring contest, neither blinking nor  breathing it seemed. 

"(F/N)..." Levi whispered, taking another step closer. 

"Corporal Levi..." you replied just as quietly. Your breathing was weak as he reached an arm back and held the back of your head, pulling you down to his face gently. 

Time stood still as he pulled you close, eyes and face void of emotion.

However, just when you expected your lips to meet, Levi slammed his head into yours, making you yelp and crumble to your knees with your head held between your hands. 

"Sass me out again and I'll throw you out of that filthy window," he stated, walking back to where the bottle had fallen and picking it up. "Now get back to work."