Someday

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I was alive. I really was and I knew it. But I was comatose. A really weird kind of comatose. My bodily systems weren't working, otherwise I'd be dead from dehydration right now. It was like time had stopped for me. I couldn't move, I couldn't talk, I couldn't even open my eyes. It was horrible. I felt so hopeless and empty. I'm sure my Titan ability was the only thing keeping me alive.

Exactly one year ago, I crystallized myself. And for the past year, Mikasa has visited me everyday. The first week was... tough. I tried squirming with all my might but the crystal was fused too tightly around me for anything to work, trapping me in a horrid cycle of nightmares, memories, and the sounds of the outside world talking about me. Mikasa on the other hand, kept obsessively trying to break the crystal, pouring acid on it, stabbing it, burning it, all the while saying "it's okay, I'll get you out of here" over and over again. She would do this until either she just... stopped, probably asleep from exhaustion, or someone had to drag her screaming, kicking body away. But, she got better. She would read to me, and tell me about what she had been doing, and sing my favorite songs. And because she got better, I got better. And then, every day, she would weep a little, and say "I love you. I want nothing more than to know you know that." She said that every day, and it hurt like hell, every day. Like an arrow piercing your chest. Burning, stinging, all through your body. And then it happens the next day, and the next, and the next. But part of the arrow feels good. Feels, strong. And that feeling only grows stronger with each arrow.

When I'm conscious, and when Mikasa isn't with me, I plot my escape. I rack my brain, going through every horrifying memory to try and figure out what I should do. There's a particular memory I've been trying to remember. 

Bright lights, heavy breathing, doctors...doctors....doctors!

When I was eight, I got hit by a car. I was in a coma for three days, but I could hear everything. The doctors...what did they say what did they say WHAT DID THEY SAY?

Calm down Annie, it's okay. I take a deep breath and try to finish the memory.

The doctors said...nothing. The only way they could help me was with high-tech equipment they didn't have here. Why.

Mikasa comes down for her daily visit.

"June 11, Year 850. It's Mikasa, how have you been Annie? I've been good, I don't know what to say that won't make you sad if you can hear this, so, I guess I'lI just read you another chapter of Dracula. I hope you don't mind that. "

And so, she read to me. For hours and hours. And I loved every second of it. But mostly, I just loved her voice. It just made me feel so warm and safe, not lonely like some would expect. She finally got up, and walked away, her boots clicking on the stone floor. But first, she spoke again.

"I bought you a really complex music box so you don't get bored. I didn't know how long it would play until it drove you crazy so I just set it to play for an hour."

A music box? It wouldn't be nearly as good as her real voice, but it'd be nice. 

It was as nice as her real voice. It was so nice I thought she had come back. And it wasn't playing just any song, it was playing the song she sang to me on our anniversary. 

And it's only now when I remember what the doctors said that was helpful.

"If you talk to her, it might motivate her to wake up."

Before my mom died, she looked me straight in the eyes and told me: "I only have one more fight left in me, I could use it to live another day, but instead I'm going to give it to you. Use it wisely"

I've been holding onto that fight, feeding off its strength but never using it for fear that it will draw power away from my mother. But I'm ready, I intend to use it wisely.

The chorus of the song breaks out, lighting pulsing through my veins, blood pounding in my head, noises and lights burning around me, overwhelming my senses.

The next few moments are a blur. My ears are ringing, my legs are shaking, part of me is fueled up with adrenaline and the other part is going to collapse from exhaustion. Blue crystal is scattered across the floor, looking like daggers made of ice. A fire has broken out from the electricity and the friction, I don't have much time before someone comes down to investigate. I want to see her, I really do, but right now there's only one thing to do, I have to run like hell.

And so I do.

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