best friends (splendorman X Reader)

who are you people?

You got up to go sit beside Splendy only to be grabbed and pulled back into the seat by your waist "where do you think you're going pretty little thing~" the sharp-toothed male next to you purred, causing a sick feeling to arise in the pit of your stomach "I don't even know who you are" you said, scrambling away the second he let go of you and latching onto Splendy's arm "you haven't introduced yourselves?" Splendy questioned, looking at the others with a furrowed brow, the slenderman only shook his head at which point Splendy sighed "you already know Slender" he motioned to the one with glasses "this is Trender" he motioned to the one with a fedora "offender" then he motioned to the one with fur "and Tender" you giggled as you noticed the pattern with their names "so then you're name is really Splendor" you said, looking up at him with a small smile "well yes...how'd you figure that out?" He questioned, his confusion causing you to giggle "I'm just clever I guess" you joked "why have you imprinted on a human?" Trender questioned Splendy "what about your own species, there's only so many of us" he added "yeah there's only so many of us and all of us are men so what's the difference, ya jealous of Y/N?" Offender questioned "no we're all choosing to be men, any one of you could be a woman if you actually gave a shit" trender grumbled "and so could you but you clearly don't give a shit either since I don't see any tits sprouting on ya, kinda hypocritical don't you think" offender argued, slender watched the two argue with what seemed to be amusement as tender shyed away, ducking behind the couch "I've been a man my entire life, you can't just expect me to switch on a dime!" Trender barked as you leaned back into Splendy's chest "do they always argue like this?" You asked quietly, earning a nod from Splendy who then rested his chin on top of your head with a sigh "we've all ALWAYS been men so what's the difference!" Offender responded at which point Trender pointed at Splendy "he hasn't!" Splendy looked up as Offender then looked at Slender with a confused gaze at which point Slender nodded to confirm what Trender had said then all of them besides Tender turned to look at Splendy who shrank back sheepishly "I'm more comfortable like this" he mumbled, squeezing you tightly "that was a long time ago and I'm not going back okay, this is who I am now and this is how I'm going to stay" he added, looking towards the floor at which point Tender peered over the top of the couch "I...i could be a woman...if it makes everyone stop arguing" everyone then turned to look at Tender "you don't have to do that..." Slender responded at which point Trender seemed extremely pissed "what do you mean he doesn't have to, are any of you thinking of the fucking species" Offender rolled his non-existent eyes "you sure talk a lot about saving the species for being a gay guy ya know" Slender sighed with annoyance "at this point with how few of us there really are if we 'save' the species the future generations are just going to be more and more inbred with the lack of population...and have you ever stopped to think it doesn't matter if we go extinct since we aren't providing anything for the environment anyway and nearly nobody knows we even exist" he said "christ could you have made that sound any more depressing" offender said, leaning back in his seat "we're already fucked so just fuck whatever the shit you want whether it be men or humans, or whatever the fuck is living at Slenders house, it wont change anything" he added, Splendy then looked around the room as everyone went entirely silent "you can leave now" Slender said after a couple minutes at which point Trender and Offender got up and left quickly, tender following shortly behind them "h-have a nice day!" He sputtered quickly "why did you bring them here?" Splendy questioned as he got up and moved onto the couch, still carrying you against his chest "they needed a wake up call" Slender responded "mostly Trender, it's not a good use of time to worry about something so useless" Slender then got up and left "well that was...something" you mumbled, getting no response