Chapter Five

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What do I do? Do I break up with Jace? Do I get back with Alex? Or do I just say single? But I can't hurt Jace.. I mean I know he's liked me for a while - according to Del. But what do I do?! You do know you're hurting Alex as we speak.

Who is this voice?!

Your conscience. Duh.

How am I hurting Alex? I mean-

He loves you but you're dating someone else. You broke up with him on your first anniversary when he came to surprise you. You make out with him and run off. You're playing with his feelings. And you've now just cheated on Jace. Dump Jace so you aren't hurting him more.

This voice is quite smart...

Damn right I am!

Okay this is weird now, I'm having a conversation with my conscience. I stood up and went out my room and to Jace's. I know he doesn't actually have a class now, thankfully. Well time to get this over and done with. I knock on his door.

"Abi? What are you doing here, don't you have a class?"

"Yeah, I just didn't feel too good though."

"Oh, are you okay?"

"Well I am now.. Can I come in then?"

"Yeah sure." I walk in and sit on his bed. I look out the window. "So, what's up?"

"I need to talk to you."

"About?"

"I'm breaking up with you." I sounded harsh didn't I? Oh my gosh why? I don't like breaking up with people! Okay I've only actually had three boyfriends now.. Josh and I broke up on mutual terms and I broke up with Alex and now Jace. Great.

"Why?" I was about to answer when he shook his head and spoke. "It's because of that Alex guy isn't it?"

I look down. "No, not exactly."

"It partly is then isn't it?"

"Yes.."

"Why? What's he done or said? I thought you liked me. I thought we actually had something!"

"Well you like me but I'm just trying to like you but I can't."

"Why?"

"Because I love Alex. I haven't stopped. I was stupid to cheat on him and then break up with him."

"I guess you were."

"And then the next day I start dating you.."

"Abi, you should sort things out with him."

"I should.. But, I don't know. If I go back with him it's like he's won."

"Won? How?"

"I don't know.. He's was trying to scare you off wasn't he?"

"Yes but-"

"Exactly. If he can't have me then no one can. I don't want that. I want him to let me be."

"But you love him."

"I do. But I don't know. I want something not based on uh well sex."

"Are you guys friends with benefits then?"

"No, no! But we've probably had sex more times than the times we've said we love each other.. And believe me we've said it loads now."

"Wow.. Too much info."

"Sorry but.. I want love and not just sex and all.. I mean he is like fabulous in bed and- oh sorry. Tmi! Uh but yeah."

"Maybe you should talk things through?"

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