Love is Pain Sweetheart

Chapter 20

I stumbled around the bright room. The sun still blinding my eyes.I do my best to find something to cover my naked shivering body. I throw on jaspers sweatshirt that hangs over a wooden chair that sits in the four square chair living room that sits by the fireplace. It is just a old black sweatshirt that has something about hunting on it. It comes down to my mid thigh and just has me drowning in it. I stumble and slide my feet across the hard wooden bone chilling floor. My breathing was so shallow I was almost not breathing. I latch my frozen fingers onto the door knob and yank it open with little force. That force alone practically knocks me to the floor. I am about to just run out of that door but I stop when i see my reflection in the glass window.

My long raven hair is so messy. It falls over my shoulders and frames around my face covering up my eyes. I push my stringy hair away and my once green eyes look so dull and so grey. They look like never ending holes. My face looks sunken in. My reflection reminds me of the pictures I found in jaspers truck only a few weeks ago. You could say the before and after results. He looked happy with his family of army unit. He said he had been there since sixteen. It made me wonder what made him join so young. Or did he join. But when he got back. He looked just like me. Broken. I take one last look at my white sheeted face death like frame. Then I looked at jasper who was still scrubbing up in that sweet mountain water. Then I ran.

My bare feet sloshing through the muddy soil soaked from last nights storm. The sprinkling water still showered in just a little drizzle down onto my head dampening my hair. Mud splashed onto my legs and sticking to the sweatshirt. I ran with all that I had left in me. Occasionally I run into a tree. My breathing has now picked up to a heavy and fast pace. I feel as if I am leaving nothing behind. Like this is something that I can't run from. I feel as if it will follow me to my grave. And so it will.

It felt like hours before I reached the road. I only knew that because I slammed head first into the side of jaspers black dodge truck. I fell backwards and hit my head on the gravel ground.

" Crap,... Fuck,.... Owww you sun of a bitch." I yell out. My patience running low for my clumsiness. Black spots blur my blurry vision. I feel as if I could just let go right here. But I can't. I half to prove to jasper that I can be stronger.

I pull myself up so I am on all fours and dragging myself towards the road. I stand up when I reach the middle and/just start walking. I walk down this endless seeming road.

Jaspers POV.

I had a job early this morning. A little under the table job.

I washed the red blood that had dried onto and was sinking into my rough skin. I washed as the water turned a red tint. But it soon disappeared to the bottom being taken under by the small under current.

Yes you are probably wondering why I have blood on my hands and a little on my shirt and jeans. Well my job was to kill this judge. They needed meaning my employer's wanted the trial postponed. I took because it was good money. I mean for my rate of 50000 for 1 kill. This judge was a very secluded man so I snuck into his house before he woke and I slit his throat and left. Unfortunately blood has a tendency to squirt.

I chuckle at the thought of how the blood squirted. Then how his face contorted into so many different faces before he drew his last breath and just fell as limp as a door nail. My fellow comrades that I killed and Lillian flash through my memory. I feel a tightness in my chest and an unexplained feeling of electricity shoot through my arms and legs paralizing me for about three minutes. After my little ' moment ' or whatever is over I finish up and head back to the house. The storm from last night sure did make the air frosty.

" A walk In the woods would sure be nice." I voiced my delightful thought. " Maybe a run" I looked over to the house and picture Sophie laying in my bed naked looking so peaceful. But no I snap the real picture in my head.