AN: this is about to be a long chapter. You're welcome. :)
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I feel like I'm always struggling to breathe
(Y/n)'s POV
"I'm sorry, what?"
Michael turned and said something to Jeremy. Jeremy nodded in response and pulled out his phone.
"What are you doing?" Alec asked, his tone stern.
"Chill out man I'm just doing what I'm told." Jeremy responded.
"What is he doing?" Alec turned to Michael.
"He's calling our backup costar." He replied nonchalantly.
"Backup?" Alec was baffled. I felt too dizzy to speak.
"Yeah! Hey, what's up man?" Jeremy got up and started to walk away. "Yeah when can you get here?"
Alec threw his hands up in exasperation, scoffed, and walked away.
I turned to Michael. "Um...w-who is he calling?"
"You alright, (y/n)?" He asked, tilting his head.
I gulped. "Y-yeah I'm fine. I might just need some water o-or something- um...who is he calling?"
"Ah! Yes. You'd wanna know who you'll be making out with. Makes sense." He lifted up a page on his clipboard. "Um...it says here..."
"Michael!" One of the camera men yelled. "Oh um, one second (y/n)."
He walked away. I sat in the chair Jeremy was in.
This should be fun.
* * * * * *
I must've fallen asleep in the chair. I awoke to Michael yelling for our attention while standing atop the cafe counter.
Alec was sitting next to me.
"H-hey...what time is it?" I asked groggily. Alec handed my a glass of water.
"About 5:30." I took a sip of the water.
"Oh. Thanks." He nodded. I had only been asleep about twenty minutes.
"Attention, everyone! We're going to resume filming tomorrow, seeing as Shawn can't get here until tomorrow." The crew nodded, and began to pack up.
I furrowed my eyebrows. "Shawn?" Alec looked at me with the same confused expression.
We both stood up at the same time, abruptly.
"Michael?" Alec spoke.
"Yes, Alec?" He responded as he packed up his briefcase.
"Um. Who's replacing me..?"
"Shawn Mendes." He replied nonchalantly.
"...oh my god." I said under my breath. It took me a while to process. Shawn Mendes was my first celebrity crush. As the shock left my body, excitement surged through it.
"Shawn Mendes is gonna make out with me." My shocked expression turned into a wide grin.
"SHAWN MENDES IS GONNA MAKE OUT WITH ME!" I jumped up and down, not able to contain my excitement. I didn't even realize it was kind of rude until after I did it
Alec was looking a the ground. He said under his breath "I'll meet you in the car (y/n)." Then he walked out of the cafe without looking at me.
I felt my smile fall.
"Ooh. Drama." Michael commented. When he saw my scowl, he wiped his grin off his face. "Sorry."
* * * * * *
I walked back to the car slowly, letting my thoughts run wild.
The air was cold against my face. When I exhaled I could clearly see my breath, even though the street was very dimly lit.
I saw Alec sitting in the passenger seat. He had his right hand on his head, his elbow resting on the door. His other hand was holding his phone, where he was looking.
I opened the door.
"Hey." He put his phone away and cleared his throat.
"Hey."
I put my seatbelt on, and inhaled sharply. We sat in silence for a while. It was deafening. My heartbeat got faster and louder in my ears as I worked up the nerve to say something.
"I'm sorry about...how I reacted."
"It's fine." He sounded short.
"I mean it."
"I know." He didn't look at me.
"I really didn't mean to react in a way that would-"
"(Y/n) what do you want me to say?!" He cut me off.
I'd never heard him yell before.
"I-I don't-" I could feel the tears forming. It'd been a long day for me. And I wasn't used to Alec acting like this.
"Hey. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled." He reached out for my hand.
I couldn't seem to catch my breath.
He's nothing like him he's nothing like him he's nothing like him.
I repeated it to myself over and over as Alec and Ethan blurred together in my jumbled thoughts.
"(y/n)?" Alec put a hand on my face. I think. I couldn't really tell.
Please don't be like him please don't be like him please don't...
I didn't realize I was saying it out loud until Alec responded.
"Don't be like who? (y/n) what's going on? Are you ok?" He wiped his thumbs across my cheeks, wiping away the tears I didn't realize were falling steadily. He forced me to look at him.
"(y/n), hey. I'll never yell at you again."
I was still breathing heavy. But I had calmed down.
Did I really just have a panic attack?
"I'm sorry." He said, looking in my (probably bloodshot) eyes.
I gulped, and nodded. He looked terrified.
"Here, I'll drive." He said to me, opening the door. I nodded.
We switched seats, and we didn't talk for the entire ride to the hotel.
* * * * * *
Alec decided to come to the shoot today. He didn't know anyone in Minnesota so he didn't really have much else to do. He walked into the living room and waited for us to start.
Ella was putting the finishing touches on my makeup for the rest of the shoot today.
"Sooooo... you excited for your big scenes today?" She asked while she put highlighter on my cheekbones.
