Must Have Been the Wind (Alec Benjamin X reader)

• f o r t y - o n e •

Black Coffee

(Y/N's POV)

I had been sitting in a Starbucks on 7th for what felt like four hours. My face buried in To Kill a Mockingbird, attempting to drown out at least some of my thoughts.

I sipped my iced black coffee, as I tried not to think of Alec; of what happened between us.

I usually hated black coffee, but for some reason the bitter taste seemed all-too fitting now.

It was strangely comforting.

I was on chapter 28. The one where Bob Ewell attacks Scout and Jem while they walk home from a school pageant at night.

I turned the page and scanned the line where Scout was just about to find out that Boo Radley was the one who saved Jem, when I heard someone speak to me.

"Black coffee? Dear god, who are you?" I looked up and felt my heart quickly palpitate in fear. I set my book down, my hands shaking as I moved the bookmark.

"...E-Ethan!" I tried not to sound terrified; tried to sound like I was pleasantly surprised to see him.

"Hey. Do you um..." he hesitated. "Do you mind if I sit?" I was very hesitant, but I was confused as to why he was. There was a certain pleading on his face, and in his voice, that I had never seen or heard before.

Intrigued, I nodded. "Uh, yeah, yeah that's fine."

I sat up a bit straighter as he carefully sat down. I glanced at his bouncing knee, feeling the anxiousness coming off of him. I took a sip of my coffee.

"I wanted to apologize." He said quickly. I was surprised, but my face didn't show it. At the most I think my eyebrows raised.

"I was horrible to you. No one should ever be treated that way," he paused. "...Especially if you love them." I gulped and looked down at the table.

"I'm not asking you to forgive me, believe me that's...that's not why I'm doing this." He drummed his fingers on the table. "I don't want you to have to be afraid of me anymore. I don't want to hurt you."

I met his eyes, confusion and a bit of resentment on my face. He looked down.

"I know that I did. I did hurt you and I knew what I was doing and I can't take it back." I crossed my arms and leaned back in the chair. "But I'm getting help. I'm getting therapy and I'm getting better."

Of all the things that had happened in the past couple days, hearing those words was the most shocking.

"You...you're getting help?" I could barely feel my own voice.

"Yes. And I met someone. She's helping me get through it with her."

I furrowed my eyebrows, trying to understand everything. "...what?" My voice was barely a whisper. I wasn't even sure if I was talking to him or myself at that point.

"We're really happy together." He smiled. "And we've been through similar things, so we know how to help each other." My eyes widened a little. I finally looked him in the eyes.

"You guys were both in abusive relationships?" I asked.

He frowned a little at the 'a word' but nodded nonetheless. "Yeah. Yeah we were. In a way it actually makes us a lot closer. We understand each other, and we talk through things."

I couldn't wrap my mind around what he was saying. He went on explaining.

"Sure, it's hard sometimes. But we love each other." He shrugged a little and took a sip of his coffee. "We work through it."