Must Have Been the Wind (Alec Benjamin X reader)

• f o r t y - f o u r •

Finale

(Y/N)'s POV

I rolled over to look at the clock. 2:40 PM.

I hadn't bothered to get out of bed yet. My body was tired, screaming at me, but I didn't know what it wanted.

Food? Water? When was the last time I had those? Every muscle in my fragile body felt sore, despite the fact I hadn't left my apartment in days.

I got texts from my cousins, my friends. I got invitations to go out multiple times, and every time, I declined.

I decided that I needed to feel it. I needed to feel the pain; the loneliness. I needed to let the realization sink in through every part of me until it was the only thing in the entire goddamned multiverse that I believed.

So I laid there, in my bed, letting the hope of Alec and I, the idea of us in my mind slowly, so slowly, start to dissipate.

I couldn't figure out the last time I slept. Or ate, or showered. I forgot that my life was more than laying in my sheets, watching the sun slowly move in the sky until it's gone, or drifting in and out of consciousness for so long that even sleeping becomes an exhausting idea; and you can't even tell what's real and what's a dream anymore because everything feels the same.

I glanced at my golden bracelet on my wrist. I debated giving it back to Alec, but decided against it.

I grabbed my phone, finally deciding that checking my messages might be a good investment. I had some from my cousins, asking if I was ok, asking if I wanted to get dinner. I ignored them. I hadn't checked my YouTube comments, or my Instagram since yesterday.

I was about to open instagram when I saw a YouTube notification. I furrowed my eyebrows.

Alec Benjamin- Must Have Been The Wind Demo

I shed a tear unconsciously, seeing as I had no control over my emotions or even recognizing them anymore. I got out of bed, walked into my kitchen and reluctantly, with a deep breath, pressed play.

I got some water, and started making a salad. I felt sick.

I heard glass shatter on the wall in the apartment above mine

I dropped the glass. I heard it break on the ground in front of my feet as I tried to remember how to swallow.

At first I thought that I was dreaming

I gulped, the water in my mouth hurting my chest on the way down.

But then I heard the voice of a girl and it sounded like she'd been crying

My mind was running in circles. I couldn't complete a thought. There was no way around it. It was blatantly obvious.

The song was about me.

Now I'm too worried to be sleeping

Why? Why did he care? I still don't understand. Most people would've just ignored it. Hell, most people did ignore it. Why in God's name name didn't he?

So I took the elevator to the second floor
Walked down the hall and then I knocked upon her door.

I didn't realize I'd been biting my nails until my cuticles started to bleed. I started pacing. What the hell am I supposed to make of this?

She opened up and I asked about the things I'd been hearing.

Oh my God. When did-when did he write this? Why didn't I know?