Must Have Been the Wind (Alec Benjamin X reader)

• f o r t y - t w o •

AN: what's up guys? I have a couple recommendations before this chapter :).

First off, go check out @TheseTwoWindow 's book Days in Los Angeles!!! (An Alec Benjamin fan fiction.)

Secondly, maybe check out my friend mariupunsas 's (you guys know her from her comments I'm guessing) book Complex. (A dystopian caste system society where you're the main character.)

Also I'm a character in that book so that's cool :).

Alright that's all!
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A Note

(Y/N's POV)

And so we reach the death of Bob Ewell- killed by Boo Radley, to save Scout and Jem from him.

And so Boo Radley is considered an unlikely hero. The person they suspected to be a psychopath is their savior. The one they've feared from the beginning is finally their answer to safety.

I bit my lip in thought, realizing where I'd gone with that.

...sounds familiar.

In fact I think the way they treated Boo Radely is the most unfair concept in the book. I've said this before, and I'll say it again. I mean they literally didn't know anything about him, in truth. They'd heard rumors; stories.

I mean sure, they were just kids, but that has to be the most unfair-

Wait.

I set my pencil down, eyebrows furrowed, my thoughts racing, as I reached a new epiphany.

I chewed the inside of my cheek and picked up my pencil again, going in a completely different direction.

The very thought of picking just one experience in the entire book isn't fair in itself.

Why does an experience that I perceived more unfair than war, poverty, genocide, et cetera, make it so?

It doesn't.

The very thought of unfairness is just perception. My perspective makes everything different, as does anyone else's. Someone may say something to me and it would mean nothing. An insult, a joke, whatever. But it could break someone else listening into a million pieces.

The whole world is just 1 million different examples of unfairness. Our economy is unfair. Our relationships with other people are unfair, our IQs and talents are unfair.

But fairness isn't any better.

I didn't stop my thoughts from flowing onto my notebook as my argument shifted into political ideology.

Communism doesn't provide you with any freedom or opportunity to grow. You're assigned a job, you get paid the same as everyone else who does that job and life is easy, but boring and uneventful. And without different skills and talents we're all the same. Is that fair?

Nothing is.

The word fairness, when you really think about it, is nothing but an illusion, an illusion created by perception.

Our world is full of contradictions and unfairness. But without unfairness our world would be black and white. Like a blank canvas.

Nothing.

I set my pencil down, trying to figure out what I was really getting at here.

I guess what I'm trying to say is...pain is inevitable.

I clenched my jaw a little.

If you give in to it, then it'll be really difficult to come back from.

If perception is reality...then the world, truly is, what you make of it.

Choose what'll make you happy. Don't choose what you think is best.

Because what you think is best, might not be.

I relaxed my jaw completely, letting it hang open a little, as I realized where I'd gone with this.

Are you happy with your choice?

Was it truly best for you? For both of you?

I think we know it wasn't.

I felt a tear escape my eye. It fell on the page and smudged the graphite a little.

I closed my notebook abruptly, and took a short breath, closing my eyes as I did so.

I spoke quietly out loud as my fingers drummed on my notebook cover.

I gulped as a couple more tears fell.

"What have I done?"
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AN: Bit of a short chapter. But I figured I'd at least try to get to 45 parts in this book so this one had to be a bit shorter than the next few.

- Erin💕