Filter (Kim Namjoon X Readers)

Chapter 34

You were drowning. An ocean of white ballgowns and lace, with glimmering chandeliers that cast a golden and timeless hue over the room. Even your mother was dizzy, she never went to a wedding dress boutique like this even when she got married. But Jooheon's family insisted that you go to the finest boutique in the city. It was only fitting, they had told you, the daughter in law of an airline company should be floating in the sky. You knew for sure they would spoil you in things like these once you marry Jooheon and you will have to get used to that. You were glad that you managed to convince them to let you pay for the dress yourself.

As soon as you and your mother entered the boutique, the employees dragged you two to the private room and served champagne while you went over what you were looking for. Wedding dresses was never something you've given a lot of thought to, you didn't know there would be so many options. When it was time to actually go through the dresses, you felt overwhelmed. On the surface, everything looked the same because at the end of the day, it's a white dress. But brushing your hand against the material, there were definite differences between all of them.

The employees suggested that you wait for them to pick out a few dress styles that will match your body type. You agreed wholeheartedly because that would be less work for you and there was no way you would know what looks best. You sat down on the couch, laying your head on your mother's shoulder. She drank the rest of her champagne before patting your head. She felt that she couldn't be sober while trying to comfort you because she still doesn't like the idea of this marriage but she'll go along with it because her daughter is determined.

"You can still back out of this, you know?"

You laughed soundlessly, only moving your shoulders. "The wedding is a week away and the invites have already been sent out, I think it's a little too late to say no now."

"Well, you can still run out of the ceremony."

"That would embarrass Jooheon and his family, I can't do that to them. After all, there's no reason for me to back out. I'm getting a pretty good deal here, aren't I?"

"And what's that?"
"I'm gonna be a rich housewife and won't have to even lift up my pinky." you answered.

She rolled her eyes, wishing she was drunker. "You hate that. I still can't believe you agreed to that." Jooheon's family doesn't want their daughter-in-law to work outside of the family. They don't want you to break a sweat, they said. Jooheon assured that it wouldn't be the case and you would be allowed to do anything you wanted work-wise, but you knew better that he won't have a saying in the marriage, his family would control everything to ensure the best possible outcome for their son. And having a strong-headed wife that works outside of their boundaries will surely cause a problem. You agreed, or else it would put your fiance in a tough spot.

"I'll learn to like it," you shrugged. "Every girl at school wanted this life, maybe I'll finally see the good of it." The employees came back, not giving your mother a chance to reply. She watched as they dragged her daughter away. When the curtains pulled back, she saw her daughter in a costume, it wasn't a wedding dress because those are meant for weddings with love. She couldn't help but cry though because her daughter looked beautiful in every single dress.

Wearing them made you feel like a princess, but none of them gave you that feeling that you heard so much about. Where your eyes water on their own and your heart feels like it's flying because for the first time, you felt beautiful from the inside. You felt nothing, but in order to appease the employees and your future in-laws, you settled on a simple satin ballgown with lace details on the top. When the vail was put on, you felt almost perfect. But there was still a missing puzzle piece but you told your heart to be quiet.

After all the measurements and details have been recorded, the two of you headed out for an early dinner at a restaurant nearby. After arriving at the table, you jumped, not expecting to the group of boys from long ago, aside from their leader, to be sitting at the table beside yours. Taehyung was the first to notice and bowed politely to your mother, the rest of them followed. "It's been long, Y/N.' he said. They went to a different private school, sticking close together just like before.

"Yeah, it has been." you replied.

"C-congratulations on your engagement," Jungkook mumbled. Seokjin elbowed him to at least try to hide his discontentment. The maknae said nothing and looked the other way. He hated knowing there was nothing he could do for his beloved hyung.

"Thank you."

"Do you really have to do it?" Yoongi asked loudly. Seokjin sighed, knowing there was no way of stopping the rebellious boy, but he was also thankful at the same time. It was a question all of them wanted to ask you. "I know you don't love that Jooheon guy, so why are you doing it?"

"Because I want to." you answered. "I'll learn to love him."

"I also know you still love Namjoon, so stop being childish and just talk to him," Yoongi demanded.

"I'm being childish?" you retorted. "It was your game in the first place. I was just a victim and now I'm trying to move on."

"He didn't mean it like that, Y/N," Hoseok interjected. "We just hate that we can't fix this because it was our fault in the first place. We just want you two to be happy."

"I appreciate you saying that," you nodded. "But you guys shouldn't have to do anything. You're right, I don't love Jooheon and there's a part of me that still yearns for Namjoon. There's a voice inside my head telling me that it can work out with us if we just try but if he really feels the same way, he should have said something, right? I still haven't heard him tell me the real story himself, so maybe he thinks it's not worth it anymore."

"That's now true." Yoongi mumbled.

"I don't know," you said honestly. Lunch went on without another word from Yoongi. Before they left, they bowed to your mother one last time.

"We'll see you at the wedding," Jimin cheered.

"You're coming?" you asked.

"Of course," Seokjin laughed. "You are joining our world after all. And I'm the only one that's allowed to do your makeup." he exclaimed.

He vanished before you could deny that proposition. Sinking back in your chair, you let out a sigh. They were doing their best to move on by pretending everything was okay, it was the only thing you could do. And for you, all you need to do is accept it. Everything will change soon, there's no going back now.