Loving her

Chapter 20.

I finally get home and let out a deep breath. My heart is still racing and my hands are sweaty. it just doesn't make sense. Why would a random man tell me I didn't listen? I didn't listen to who?

I shake my head, this is just a bad day all I need to do is relax, I have been way to tense lately anyway and this could all just be in my head. I grab the small lighter under Ava's bed and light the candle on my desk. 

Maybe it really is time to just change my surroundings, and actually do something, go somewhere.

I need someone by my side, and that someone is going to be Ava whether she likes it or not. I find myself wanting her by my side, as my best friend like she always has been, why is college turning her into a wild party girl who doesn't have hangovers?

It's not just that I want her by my side, I need her by my side because lately, things have started to feel weird. 

Something about that night at the party just doesn't feel right and I need to remember what happened. 

I never thought getting drunk would be scary but it is, I can't remember anything and my mind is still clouded even if it's been a few days.

I stand up from the bed and get dressed in something that isn't sweaty sweatpants. I can't sit around and wait for memories to come flooding back, I need to trigger them to come . . . somehow. I hate not remembering such a long part of my night. 

I know Ava is at a party, it's late and she hasn't been home, plus she left with a skanky dress on. Sometimes I really do feel like her older sister or some kind of mentor that she refuses to listen to.

She conveniently left her car keys behind so her car must be here, I hurry out and start her stupid car and head to the main house, the house where all parties have been held so far. In hopes of finding Ava.

 I rush into the house but I don't spot her, even after scanning the whole house. Everyone looks the same, the same blonde girls in the same skanky dresses are dancing and getting wasted with boys around them. 

Maybe she isn't here and maybe this was just plain dumb. After all, what is the fat girl even doing here? I start looking around and notice girls in revealing clothes stare at me, giving me a nasty look and they aren't the only ones, the boys next to them seem to be doing the same.

My feet take me to the front door but my eyes spot something; Ava's coat, the dark grey coat she always wears on the stairs? She must be here. 

I feel my blood boil for no reason I grab her coat and rush upstairs. My heart starts to pound as soon as I reach the top of the stairs. My gut tells me this is going to be a disaster, without being able to collect myself, my hand suddenly pushes the first door on the right open.

"Ava?" I ask somehow surprised I didn't find anything . . . just her standing there half-naked.

 I glance around the room only to see everything perfectly normal, the bed is rattled up a little but that's it. 

"Were you sleeping with someone?" I ask confused. 

"No I uh I took a nap," she says but her face looks horrified and somehow confused.

"Let's go okay?" She asks and I nod before taking one last look behind her, I'm tempted to go inside the room and look for something . . . anything but I decide against it.