Puppy Love

part thirteen.

Ariana's POV

My knees felt weak as I fell to the floor. My mother rushed over to me and helped me up before settling me down on the couch. She was the one who told me about what happened to Mac. I couldn't believe it.

He's gone.

I buried my face in my hands as loud sobs escaped from my lips. I felt sad and angry with the world, with myself, with everything. I cried harder as my mom pulled me in a tight hug.

He's gone.

The realization hit me hard; so hard that I felt sick. I pulled myself away from my mom and ran to the bathroom, emptying my stomach into the toilet bowl. My mom quickly followed me and rubbed my back. I flushed the toilet and sat down on the cold tiles. My mom sat across from my and reached over to wipe the tears from my eyes. There was no use in wiping them away, new ones replaced them quickly after.

He's gone.

It was getting harder to breathe. Sweat ran down my forehead as I coughed violently. Everything was falling apart and my vision became blurry. My mom took my shaky hands and I looked up into her eyes. She told me to breathe and I tried my best to breathe with her. My chest ached, but I managed to calm down after a few minutes.

With tears still streaming down my face, I stood up and went into my room. It was still early in the day, but I closed the curtains and buried myself under the covers. I knew my mom was watching me, but I ignored her as I stared at the wall. This didn't feel real. I hadn't seen or talked to Mac in many months, but even after our breakup I still wished the best for him. I hoped that he was able to heal, but I knew that he was not as happy and healthy as he portrayed himself to be. I cared deeply for him and it was hard to imagine a world without him in it.

I didn't realize how long I was in bed until I looked over to the clock and saw that is was 7pm. I heard the door open and did not bother to check who it was. I saw that it was Pete when he bent down by the bed to look at me. He pushed a strand of hair behind my ear as he gave me a sad smile. Pete stood up and took off his shoes before making his way into the bed with me. He wrapped his arm around me, but it felt unnatural and uncomfortable. I ignored the feeling of guilt in my stomach and unwrapped his arm from around me and moved away from him. I knew he was trying to help, but honestly, he was making it worse. I heard him sigh and he moved further away from me but stayed on the bed. My eyes brimmed with tears again and I tried my best to stay quiet. I brought a hand up to cover my mouth, but it was no use. I knew Pete heard me.

I heard some shuffling and I knew that he was sitting up and looking at me. I could feel his gaze on me and I tried my best to stay quiet and ignore him. I knew that he wanted to talk about it, but that was the last thing I wanted to do at the moment. I felt like if I opened my mouth to talk, I'd cry even more and I was tired of crying. I had been doing it all day.

"Ari-"

"Pete, please." I interrupted him with a shaky voice before he could continue. "Not right now, please."

We stayed in silence for a few minutes. Pete sighed again and left the room. I buried my face in my pillow and allowed myself to cry again.

He's gone.

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I have never experienced the death of a loved one, so this was very challenging to write. That's also why it's so short. I hope I did okay. Thanks for reading!