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I sat on the grass mat looking towards the door as my family talked about me as if I wasn't there. "We can't give back the cows,
Ntombizonke will take her sisters place. She's a beauty, she's of age. I don't see why she can't." My mom's wails filled the room but not once did she open her mouth to retaliate to my uncles and my dads word. That's how she was raised, to be meek, obedient and live to please her husband always to never go against his word even when you disagree with it, even when it puts your children's happiness in jeopardy.

I was raging mad but I swallowed my rage for the sake of my mother. She'd lost one daughter I wouldn't let her lose another all at once. My father had no shame nor did his brothers. My sister was arranged to marry some guy,she hadn't told me the details, well the little that she knew about him anyways. Now that she's passed my father and his brothers want me to take her place because they're too greedy to return the people's lobola money.

I'll never forgive my dad for this. I've sworn I wouldn't forgive him before. When he wouldn't let me go to school or university.My father didn't believe in educating a woman but I'd gotten an education all thanks to my sister. She is , was my hero.

"Sindile! Sindile!" I screamed as I ran across the yard to my older sister's rondavel clutching the newspaper in my hand. "What is it?" She yelled back not bothering to come out and see what my fuss was about. She was used to my behavior, everyone was. I screamed to express just about every emotion.

I barged into her rondavel with tears of joy streaming down my cheeks "I passed. Oh look , look I passed!" I said thrusting the paper at her and pointing at my exam number with shaking hands. Her eyes followed and at the sight of the B and the abbreviations of four of the seven subjects I'd been doing she threw the paper down pulled me into a bone crushing hug and started weeping with me. "I knew you could do it! I'm so proud of you." I felt the sincerity in her words. She's the only person who's supported me through my crazy dreams and who's covered for me with father when I had to study. I loved her so much. She let go of me and started reciting our clan names and chanting her thanks to our ancestors in between meanwhile pulling me to the center of the room and dancing with me. It reminded me of the days when her , our cousins and I used to go for virginity tests. When we made way to the center of the circle to dance all other maidens made way for us. We were the best in our group. No maiden in the area could move their waists like we could. We won every competition against the girls in the surrounding areas.

"Oh I'll slaughter a chicken for you, the fattest one in the coup and make those dumplings you like. It'll be a feast." Sindile said all in one breath. I knew when she got like this not to get in her way . She was just about to say something more when the loud boisterous voice of our father interrupted her. "Sindile, Ntombizonke! What's with all this noise?!" He asked irately and he stood by the door taking in our forms that were slumped on the floor with the paper a few steps away from us.

"Oh it's foolish girl talk father. We apologize." Sindile answered quickly before I could say anything and it seemed father was satisfied with her response and walked away.

I was thankful for my sister in moments like these. She always played the mediator between my father and I. She had mother's soothing, calm and submissive temperament whilst I was more like my father ,stubborn, quick to react but of few words. My father and I didn't get along mostly because he believed in domesticating women. He still lived in an age where women stayed home and nursed children. He didn't want us girls to get an education, he wanted us to stop school at grade 8 , where we could read and write letters and that was enough but I wanted more than that and that made us butt heads.

Sindile was okay with this, she wasn't interested in school anyways but I wanted to finish school and I had. I wanted to go to university and study to be a doctor, maybe start a clinic here and I knew with Sindile by my side I would. She made me believe in myself and she covered for me for years so I could be able to finish school right under fathers nose without him knowing, she did both mine and her chores during the day, she made sure I had an extra candle to study with at night, she also made the most beautifully designed grass mats and reed baskets and sold them and with the money she made bought me school essentials the school didn't provide.

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