Pictures of You

Chapter Fifteen

As soon as I got back to my room, I pulled my T-shirt off and threw it on the chair in the corner. After travelling all day, I wanted nothing more than to get out of the clothes I'd been in all day, and get in the shower. It seemed so long since I'd gotten off the train this morning.

Already I had met three new friends, and discovered that the boy I'd come to see was actually real, and working at a coffee shop right here in Camden. Tomorrow I would go and see him and know one way or the other if he really wanted to be with me. He probably wouldn't be happy at me for surprising him at work. If he'd wanted to see me, he would gave replied to my message. But it was about more than that now. I wanted to know who he was. I felt I at least deserved that.

What if Gladys was wrong and it wasn't Alex she had seen? We'd been speaking online for ages and he never even once mentioned that he worked there. Surely it would have come up in conversation at least once. But she had seemed so sure.

I turned the shower on in the bathroom and went to grab the towel that was folded on the bed. I pulled my skinny jeans off over my legs. I was just about to take my underwear off, when I realised the curtains were open. I walked over to close them, but decided to take one last look at the vibrant, busy street outside first. I loved where I was staying. It was the perfect place for me, and I could quite easily have sat by the window watching the world go by all night. Even at this time the street was still busy. I needed a shower and my bed as I wanted to be fresh and looking good for the next morning when I met Alex.

I took the curtains in my hands and started pulling them together. But then I saw someone in the crowd outside. He stood out as everyone else in the street was walking around, with somewhere to be. But this guy just stood in the middle of the street, looking up. It was difficult to get a clear view of him, but he looked like he was in his mid to late twenties, with dark brown hair, and wearing a blue Parker. He appeared to he staring right up into my room. I watched him for a few moments to see if he would move. But he didn't. He just kept on staring. I was sure he was just staring into space, and my window just happened to be that space. I didn't know this guy, so there would be no reason for him to be looking at me. I watched him for a while longer, to see if he was looking at me, or not.

He definitely was.

I suddenly felt really exposed, standing in the window in just my underwear. It hadn't bothered me before as I assumed that no one would be looking up. But now it just felt weird. I closed the curtains and tried to dismiss it from my mind.

I got in the shower and stood under the warm water for the longest time, trying to wash London from my skin. Once I was finished, I dried off, put on some sweatpants and a T-shirt and went to lie on the bed. I had promised to call Mum every day, so I figured this would be a good time. I dialled the number, put her on speakerphone and placed it on the bed in front of me.

'Hi sweetheart,' she said as she answered. She sounded really happy to hear my voice, as I was to hear hers.

'Hi Mum,' I said. 'How are you?'

I'm good. But never mind me. How's London?'

'I've not really seen much of it yet,' I said. 'But I...we found the place we're staying at.'

I had to keep correcting myself, because as far as Mum was concerned, I was on this trip with James. I didn't want to talk with her about London. I'd always been such a terrible liar and Mum has always been able to sniff it out. So I tried to get the subject back to her again.

'How are things going with Andrew?' I asked.

If Mum was going to start dating again, either with Andrew, or anyone else, I was going to have to get used to talking with her about it. Asking Mum about a new boyfriend felt wrong to me, as I'd only ever known her to be with one man; my dad. And my dad was one of the greatest human beings to have ever walked the planet. I know it's no surprise that a teenage boy should say that about his dad, but he really was.

My dad was very much what you'd describe as a lad's lad. He loved his football, cars, and got excited when there was a new guest ale on down our local pub. He no doubt thought when he had a son, that he would have someone to do and talk to about these things. But needless to say that wasn't me. I wasn't interested in the toy cars they bought me. I had action men dolls, but they never went to war. Instead I made them date each other, go out for meals and get married.

But my dad was never disappointed in me. He loved me for who I was and adapted to be the dad that I needed. He played with me the way I wanted to played with, and never tried to make me hmbe the 'typical boy.' He knew that would never be me, so let me become the person I was going to be without fear of judgement.

When I got older and started becoming more interested in clothes, he would pick up things he saw that he thought I'd like. He'd be like, 'Hey Ash, I found this cute scarf that I thought you'd look great in,' or 'Look at this belt I found for you. You could totally rock this.' And he was always right. He was so on my level, that he always brought things for me that I did really love.

But what I loved about him most, was that he was always so proud of me. He didn't care that his friends' kids were on the football or basket ball teams. He listened to them talk about their offsprings' sporting achievements and didn't resent them of it.

'That's great,' he'd say when his best friend's son scored the winning goal in a crucial match, then counteracted it with one of my achievements.

'Did you hear Ash came first in the dance competition?' or 'Ash got a really great part in the school play.'

I remember the day he died like it was yesterday. I had been home from school about an hour and was watching TV in the front room. There was a knock at the door and I remember hearing two voices that I didn't know. I didn't really listen to what they were saying, as I was too busy watching my program. It was only when I heard Mum crying that I knew that something was wrong. I'd heard Mum cry before. She'd often blub at soap operas and movies, sometimes even TV adverts. But this was a different kind of crying. It was a loud, primal cry, that if I didn't know she was in there, I would have thought it was someone else. I still hear that cry in my sleep sometimes.

Dad was our everything. It was the three of us against the world, so going from three to two was an adjustment that I don't think Mum or I are still able to make.

Mum paused before answering.

'Actually, we're going out for a drink tomorrow night.'

'Wow! That's...great, Mum.'

'You are...okay with this, aren't you Ash?'

'I'm fine,' I said.

I wasn't Sure if I was fine or not, but it was my issue to work through. I didn't resent her any happiness, so I didn't want her to miss out because I couldn't handle it. It was nice that she would be meeting her online date on the same day I would be meeting Alex. Maybe we would both get the happiness we deserved on the same day.

'Good,' she said. 'Anyway, is James there with you? Let me talk to him.'

Shit!

'Actually Mum, James has just gone out to pick our takeaway up.'

'Ash! You've not left James to fetch it by himself. I thought you were meant to be sticking together.'

'It's fine Mum. The pizza place is right across the street. I can see him from the window.'

'Well don't take advantage. You know how he runs around after you.'

'We'll take it in turns. Listen Mum, I'm going to go.'

'Will I speak to you tomorrow?'

'You've got your date tomorrow.'

'Right. Day after?'

'Okay, speak to you then.'

'Say hi to James for me.'

'Will do.'

I hated lying to her.

I watched TV for a while, completely forgetting about my experience in the window earlier. The guy who'd been staring in would surely have gone by now, but I thought I'd take a quick look to check. If I didn't it would be on my mind all night. I opened the curtain a crack; he was still there, looking up at my window. I wasn't sure how to sign what-the-hell-are-you-looking-at, so instead I just pointed at him to let him know I'd seen him. He casually turned around and walked off down the street.

Author's note

Thank you so much to everyone who has read, commented and voted for this story. I hope you're enjoying reading, as much as I am writing it.

So what do you think? Is Alex real? If not, who do you think it is. I promise all will be revealed.