Pictures of You

Chapter Sixteen

I met Ben outside on the street. I had messaged him before going to sleep last night to let him know about my evening. But as we exchanged messages, it became clear to him how much I was freaking out about meeting Alex. I hadn't planned on taking a chaperone with me on our first meeting, but then again I hadn't expected him to not want to see me.

'How are you feeling?' he asked me.

I shrugged and told him how nervous I was.

'You'll be okay,' he said. 'Chances are he'll take one look at you and want to whisk you straight off to bed.'

'But what if he doesn't?'

'Well then it's his loss, and I'll be right next to you. I've got your back, Ash.'

I felt better knowing I wasn't alone. But I still had to face this. Nobody could do it for me.

I smiled and thanked him. He pointed in the direction we needed to go in, and we started walking down the street. As we walked, I told him all about my evening with Gladys and Walter, and about the strange man staring at me from the street.

'That's so strange,' Ben said. 'Who do you think it was?'

'I have no idea,' I said, 'but it really freaked me out.'

'I'm not surprised. Do you think he had anything to do with Alex?'

Nothing like that had really occurred to me. I just figured he was some weird guy looking through my window, maybe with the intention of trying to scare me.

'Why would it have anything to do with Alex?' I said.

'I don't know. But you've got to admit, there is something shady going down. First of all you get completely ignored by the guy who's meant to be your boyfriend, then you get this random stranger checking you out through your window. You don't really know anyone else in London, and you've told Alex where you're staying.'

'I guess.'

'Did you get a good look at him?'

'Not a really good look, no.'

'So could it maybe have been Alex?'

'No, it definitely wasn't him. I'd recognise him straight away if it was.'

'Well then maybe he sent one of his friends round to see if you really were here. Or maybe...'

He paused.

'Maybe what?' I said.

'Well have you ever considered that the guy in the photos might not be who you've been talking to?' He looked me in my face to check my reaction at what he'd just said.

Of course I'd considered it. I'm not stupid. But every time I let my mind go down that road, it just didn't seem to make sense. I'd never shared any intimate pictures of myself, and he had never asked me to. There were times when our chats had gone down that road that I'd thought about it, but never did. I didn't want to put him on that position. I was underage, but I hadn't told him that. It would be unfair sending that kind of picture, knowing it could land him in hot water if anyone ever found out.

No, whoever this was wanted to know me on a personal level. They had listened to me ramble on about things I'd done with my mates, parties I'd been to, and been there for me when I talked about how much I missed my dad. It didn't make sense for some random catfish to do that. What would someone I didn't know get from that? I explained my thoughts to Ben.

'What if it is someone you know?' he said; something I hadn't considered.

'But I don't know anyone in London,' I said.

'It doesn't necessarily have to be someone in London,' he said. 'Think about it. You came all this way without being invited, then when you get here, he ghosts you. Maybe whoever this is told you he lived in London because he thought you'd never come. If he told you he lived in Sheffield, you would have wanted to meet him sooner. Placing himself in London put a geographical barrier between you.'

I thought about it all, but it didn't make sense. Gladys had already told us that she knew this guy, and he lived in Camden, right where he said he lived. I felt like I really knew Alex. He must just have gotten scared when I surprised him the way I did.

'I like my theory better,' I said.

'Which is...?'

'That Alex is real. He works at Oscar's, and I'm going to meet him today.'

'Okay,' said Ben. 'Well if that is the case, then you're about to meet him right now.' He gestured his head to a building on the other side of the street. I looked at the sign. We were here. I braced myself to walk in, but I couldn't make my legs move.

'You okay?' Ben asked.

'Uh huh!' I still couldn't move.

'Take your time,' Ben said, I nodded. I didn't notice at first, but my breathing started to get heavier. Ben must have noticed it, as he reached out and grabbed hold of my hand. I looked down at our linked fingers, as I couldn't understand why he'd done it. But then I felt the tears running down my face and I knew something was wrong. My breathing got heavier and heavier until I started wheezing. Ben pulled me over to him and into an embrace.

'I can't breath,' I told him.

It's okay,' he said. 'I think you're having a panic attack. Let's go sit down somewhere.'

So that's what we did. We walked away from Oscar's and found a bench to sit on. I'dhad panic attacks before. I hot them quite a bit after Dad died, but not in a while.

Once sat down, he wrapped his arm around me and I laid my head on his shoulder. 'You're shaking,' he told me. I hadn't realised until that moment that I was. His body was warms and his embrace comforting.

'Do you still want to do this?' he asked me, but before I could answer he started talking again. 'Look at what he's doing to you. You either need to face this head on and walk in there, or walk away and never think of him again. I personally think the second is the best option, but I know you probably want answers.'

'I do,' I said. 'I'm going to go in.'

'Okay,' he said. 'I'm right behind you.'

I built my courage up and we went back to Oscar's. I took a deep breath and walked in, this time with Ben following behind me. Most of the seats were taken, but the counter was clear. There stood a man, probably in his late-fifties, thin dyed black hair. He turned to us as we approached the counter. 'Can I help you?' he asked.

'Hello,' I said. 'I'm looking for someone who works here. His name is Alex.'

The man shrugged. 'You must be mistaken,' he said, 'there is nobody with that name who works here.'

'You might know him by his full name. He is called Alessandro.'

'No,' the man said abruptly. 'There is no one by that name either.'

I turned to look at Ben. 'Show him a picture,' he said.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and tried to find a clear photo of him; one where he was fully dressed. 'This is him,' I said, pointing my phone at him.

'I cant help you,' said the man, without even looking at the picture.

'Please.' Ben stood forward to take the lead. 'It's very important we talk to him. Can you at least just look at the picture and see if you know him. We've been told on good authority that he works here.'

The man sighed and took my phone. He looked at it for a split second before handing it back. 'I'm sorry,' he said, 'but you have been told wrong. I have never seen this man in my life.'

'Could he maybe work different shift patterns to you?' Ben asked.

'This is my cafe,' the man said. 'I hire and fire everyone. If he had ever worked here, I would know. Now I am busy serving people who actually want something. Please leave.'

I felt totally deflated. I had pinned all my hopes on finding him today, whether he was into me, or not. But I was leaving knowing no more than I had this morning.

'Was it me, or was that guy acting shifty?' Ben said.

'He did seem really keen for us to leave,' I said. 'Do you think he knows more than he's letting on?'

'I'm not sure,' he said, but if I had a list of suspects, I'd be adding him to it right now.'

'Well then that's what we should do?'

'Make a list of suspects?'

'Yeah.'

'Good plan. Back to yours?'

'Yeah, let's go.'