Pictures of You

Chapter Thirty-Seven

As I got off the train, I could see James standing at the other end of the platform. He raised his head to look for me. He couldn’t see me at first through the crowds, but as we got closer our eyes met. He raised his hand in a wave.

‘Hey Ash, I’ve missed you,’ he said as I got to him.

‘I missed you too,’ I said as I opened my arms and hugged him. It felt so good to see him again. I hadn’t realised with all that went on just how much I missed home, and James was a big part of that.

‘You want to go get a coffee somewhere?’ he said.

‘Do you mind if we just go straight home? I’m exhausted.'

‘Yeah, sure.'

‘You’re going to come back and hang with me though, right?’

‘Yeah, of course.’

We got the bus together back to mine, chatting all the way home. He asked me about my time in London, and I told him all about Gladys and Walter. I didn’t need to tell him about Ben, of course, as they’d known each other their whole lives. He listened to everything I had to say and seemed to enjoy my stories.

‘Do you think you’ll stay in touch with them?’ he asked.

‘Absolutely. I’d love you to meet them too,’ I told him.

‘I’d like that,’ he said. ‘What about Alex?’

‘What about him?’

‘Do you think you'll carry on talking to him?’

‘No,’ I said, shaking my head. ‘I’m glad I finally met him, but at the end of the day, that’s not the person I’ve been talking to. There’d be no point.'

We got back to mine and I let myself in. Mum was in the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee at m the breakfast bar.

‘Ash,’ she said, jumping up and throwing her arms around me. ‘Welcome home.’

‘Thanks,’ I said.

She hugged James too. ‘I hope the two of you had the best time.’

‘We had a great time,’ said James. He looked at me and winked.

‘Where’s your bag, James?’ she asked him.

‘We dropped it off at his place on the way home,’ I said.

‘Ah okay. Well let me take your bag. I’ll get a wash on.’

‘Thanks Mum.’

She started asking us about what we'd done. I hadn't really orep6myself for it, so I tried to divert her questions by asking how she'd been. I'd been really worried about her since her disastrous date. We'd both been really unlucky in live at late.

‘Are you staying for dinner James?’ Mum asked.

‘No thanks. I’ll go and have it with my family.’

‘Yes, I imagine they'll want to spend some time with you.’

‘We're going to hang out in my room for a while Mum,’ I said.

‘You two not fed up of the sight of each other?’ she said.

I looked at James. ‘No, never,’ I said.

We sat on my bed, backs against the wall with our feet hanging off the bed and talked.

‘Are you okay?’ he asked me.

‘I am,’ I said.

‘I’m sorry things didn’t work out how you wanted it to.’

‘It’s okay,’ I said, ‘everything happens for a reason. So what if Alex wasn’t who he said he was? At least I know what I want now.’

‘And what do you want?’ he asked me.

‘Well I don’t want to just hook up with random guys,’ I said. ‘I don’t want to go out on dates with guys I meet at parties just for the sake of it. I only want to go down that route with someone if I think it could really go somewhere.’

‘But how do you know it will go somewhere you don’t give it a try?’ he said.

‘I don’t know,’ I said. ‘I guess when I meet that person, I’ll just know.’

‘You don’t think that could have been Ben?’

‘Your cousin Ben? God no! He’s great, but he’s not for me.’

‘And that’s definitely not Alex?’

‘Definitely not. I liked the idea of him. Like when we were talking online, I liked the fact that there could be this guy I really fancied, but also someone who really got me. I want to be with someone who can be my best friend as well as my boyfriend. I thought I’d found that in Alex, but none of it was real.'
‘What if...’ James started to speak, then cut himself off mid-sentence. ‘What if you didn’t need to travel all that way to find it? What if what you’re looking for was right in front if you the whole time?’

It took me a few moments to realise what he was saying to me.

He couldn’t mean...?

‘You mean...you?’ I said.

He shrugged. ‘Why not?’

‘Are you saying...you like me?’

‘Seriously Ash, did you really not know that?'

‘But you’re my best friend. What if it didn’t work out? I can’t stand the thought of losing you.’

‘That’s a chance we'd have to take. But if it did work out, then it could be everything you ever wanted.’

I thought about it. James had been my best friend for so long, that I’d never even considered him as being more than that. But the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. I loved spending time with him. We got each other and I trusted him with my life.

But did I fancy him?

I looked at him and tried to imagine us together. It didn’t take too much imagination. The thought of being with him in that way...I started to feel really turned on by it.

‘But what about Tom?’ I said, ‘I thought things were going good between you?’

‘He’s a nice guy,’ he said, ‘but it was never going anywhere.’

‘You’ve broken up with him?’

‘Yeah  the day you dumped Danny. I only really wanted to go out with him because you were dating his friend and I wanted to spend more time with you.’

Come to think of it, James and I did have a better time with each other on that date than we did with the boys.

He looked at me, nervously. ‘So what do you think?’

This was the moment. Was I going to take this step with my best friend?
I closed my eyes and said my answer without thinking. Whatever came out of my mouth would be what my heart felt.

‘Okay,’ I said, ‘let's give it a go.’

His face filled with the biggest smile, and mine matched his. Our bodies moved together and we kissed.

It felt really good. I was worried it might feel odd kissing my best friend, but it felt natural. I could feel things happening in my jeans and things started to get really tight in there. If I was unsure before if I fancied him, then I was sure now. My body was telling me did.

Of course we'd helped each other out when we were horny before, but never anything more than a quick hand job. I could really have done with that right now and he sensed that. He started to unbuckle my belt with his hand. I put my hand on his to stop him.

‘What’s wrong?’ he said.

‘Things have got to change,’ I said.

‘Okay,’ he said, looking worried. ‘How?’

‘I’m taking you out on a date,’ I said.