My Baseball Boy

Many thoughts...

        I, pathetically, made an excuse to the gang.  Complaining on how the hot sun felt like it was melting my skin off to the bone.  It wasn't normal for me to say, but I quickly ran off before they could question.  Only receiving a few glances, mainly from Scotty and Benny.

        Not knowing where to go, I jogged towards the only place that held happy memories for me.  The diner.  The small, forgotten, diner.  So polished and quaint, I don't understand how it could be so easily forgotten.  Sighing, I saw the familiar diner's door up ahead. 

        It all looked the same from the last time I was here, little did I know that this may be my last visit to this memorable place.

        There she was.  The same clown-faced woman who seemed to vaporize me with her menacing blue eyes.  It seems that she grew even more wrinkles on her face, and she stumbled a bit to her workplace, behind the counter.  Her perfume covered the horrible stench of vodka.

        Not even muttering a word, she blankly stared at me.  May be even past me.  Not questioning it, I said, "I would like a table." My voice seemed to echo in this small diner.  Once so loud and unafraid, now small and breakable.  She didn't even blink as she gathered a menu, barely.  Guiding me to the closest table, she slammed the plastic menu onto the tabletop.  Again, she left rudely.  Her pink heels clicking and clacking against the checkered tiled flooring.

        My eyes scanned against the menu's lettering.  Not much too order, so I chose to get a simple chocolate milkshake.  Suddenly, me eyes automatically trailed upwards towards the seat in front of me.  Imaging Benny's figure sitting there.  Laughing about something I said hastily about the waitress.  His white teeth glistening from the ray of sunlight popping out of the windows, and his brown eyes dancing and twirling with amusement.  Just his little actions drove me crazy.

        The way he would grab my hand randomly during our conversations.  His rough and patched hands somehow still felt like velvet against mine.  May be it was because I knew that it was from hard work and determination.  Just made me even more in love with him.  The way he would smirk at me after he would randomly compliment me on something.  Either if it was from snorting so loud that people from Texas may have heard it, or that I would simply blush brighter than an apple.  But the main thing that turned me on, was his dedication for the things he loves.  Baseball, family, friends.

        Suddenly, an Elvis Presley song comes on.  His familiar, husky voice filled my ears, and also the waitress's ears as she whooped louder than a monkey.  Dancing along with the music as if I wasn't there at all.  Even if her movements were sleazy, she looked carefree.  For a moment, I forgot she was a bitchy, drunk waitress.

        My body begged for me to join her, or to be near her.  I needed to be carefree for once.  Last time I was carefree, I almost got caught by the police.  I wasn't that smart last time.  My mind and body knew the consequences, yet now it felt like my conscious was leaning towards being bad.  Be bad, now.

        Ignoring my silent pleads, I got up from my shiny, red seat.  Knowing she was too preoccupied at the moment, I silently left the lonely diner.  Even though I was silent, my mind was a buzzing beehive.  Nonstop thinking and thoughts invading my mind.

        My eyes were clouded with even more thoughts as I tried to make my way back to the sandlot.  I wasn't used to having these thoughts again.  Almost a year ago, they were regular.  Daily.  I was used to it, sadly.  My soul fed off of it, and that was when I knew I needed help.  Or, more accurately, my parents knew. 

        Getting help wasn't something I regretted.  Hell, it was something I praised myself for.  After a while, I knew my every actions were a cry for help, but they were useless.  I was at the age where I was supposed to act out, and be ignorant.  That was what they thought, at least that's what they told me. 

        Did I need help again?  Would Benny think differently of me?  It was surprising enough that he stayed with me after I told the truth.  Hell, it was surprising enough that my parents didn't send me away.  Actually, more like my mother's pleads to Bill.  I still remember her cries of her heart breaking, right underneath my feet.  The thought of her daughter leaving her was too unbarring for her I guess.  She was the best mom.  Understanding, patient, and acceptable.  I loved her, along with Scotty.  Bill?  Eh.

        I crossed the first main street, I only had to cross three to make it to the sandlot.  No cars were out, and this town resembled a desert.  Only with houses and a pool, also a very special sandlot.  Even though it may sound like a horrible place, I've grown very fond of it over the time.  It just grows onto you when you meet the right people.  I guess I did, didn't I?

        The second main street was slightly bigger than the rest.  Many cars passed but it wasn't very difficult.  My feet naturally carried on normally, like every other day.  Why was today so different?

        In a few seconds I understood why as a horrible metal taste filled my mouth, and ultimately passed out from the collision.