Almost Famous |h.s|

An Honest Mistake

July 9, 2018

I've honestly never felt so sick. I thought when I threw up at the sight of Harry Styles for the first time that that was the sickest I had ever felt...but I was wrong. Nothing could quite compare to the guilty pit of dread that filled me up at this moment.

I was pacing the length of the dressing room, back and forth, back and forth, and my anxiety would not let me stand still. I was at its mercy. It had me in its clutches, knowing full and well that it had control over every decision I made from here on out.

"Rue! The new pages are wonderful! I'm really looking forward to what you are able to come up with for this last week especially with the Inglewood concerts. Those are going to be very emotional for Mr. Styles I think."

"Sinclair....I need to ask you something." I heard Sinclair hum into the receiver and I summoned up all of the courage I had left in me, praying that I was wrong.

"Did you leak to the press about Harry and his ex girlfriend?" Silence. Complete and utter silence. My heart had stilled in my chest as I awaited his response and a sense of dread I had never known before began to seep into my every pore.

"Rue, we had to put a little pressure on him..." I inhaled sharply. The next several minutes were a blur on the phone with Sinclair. I felt betrayed but I also felt so incredibly guilty that I played a small part in the magazine's plan to get Harry to open up more about his relationship.

"Rue? Did he talk to you about it? I can't imagine that he didn't with how close you two have obviously become. I hope you recorded it...and we are looking forward to the finalization of the article! Send in the last edit by the end of the week!" Just like that he had hung up and I couldn't stop the tears that escaped my eyes.

The worst part was...that conversation was two days ago during the Seattle concert. Harry had noticed that something was wrong and Mitch kept an ever watchful eye on me ever since the news leaked. He still didn't trust me and I couldn't fucking blame him. I had done the one thing I had sworn I wouldn't do. I opened my mouth and my boss tried to force Harry's hand by leaking his scandal into the news to get him to talk to me about it.

It was sick, twisted, and wrong.

My phone beeped for the fifteenth time today. I glanced down and saw it was Zach again. I tossed my phone onto the floor and begged, pleaded that my life just stop spiraling out of my control. To just give me one minute of reprieve. The past couple of days I felt like something was eating me alive from the inside out. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, I felt so horribly about all of this and the other bad part of this whole situation? The news cycle was loving every minute of Harry's demise. And. It. Was. My. Fault.

Jeffrey and the rest of Harry's team were too late. By the time they tried to figure out where the sources had come from, the damage was already done. Harry was taking it in stride to the best of his ability but I could tell from the dark circles under his eyes that he was feeling the weight of the world's words against him. I tried to be there for him as best as I could but my guilt wouldn't let me comfort him for long. Mitch wouldn't either. He would come over to Harry and shoot me a look that made me feel even worse and I'd slink away back to my bunk. I couldn't blame him. He knew the truth. He saw right through me.

I was just about to pace the room for the millionth time when Harry came bursting through the door, a big smile on his face.

"Rue, tonight was amazing! Did you see any of it?" I nodded and sent him a tight lipped smile. He raised an eyebrow at me as he picked a towel up from the bathroom counter and wiped his forehead down as well as the back of his neck.