Issues // H.S. // A.U.

Chapter Twenty-Two

HARRY

Dani hasn't been the same since that night.

She's seemed like she was stuck in her head, her mind keeping her busy nearly all the time. She was still there physically, studying in the library, cuddling me to sleep, kissing me in the shower, but mentally she was elsewhere.

I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to help her, or if she even wanted my help. She wouldn't talk about what happened that night, the next morning waking up and making breakfast like it was any other day. I had only tried bringing it up once, but she shut me down quickly, changing the subject to one of her classes.

One moment we were dancing, having fun, enjoying the feeling of our bodies against each other. The next everything changed. I had been thinking of all the things I was going to do to her body, both of us having been extra touchy and teasing all night. But then I felt her tense up in my arms. In a way I've never felt. I actually felt the shiver of fear race down her body. Instinctively, her hold on me tightened, as if asking for me to keep her safe.

I remember looking down at her face to see her eyes wide and terrified. They weren't there, though, it was like she was looking into the past, eyes not focused on anything in particular. I knew when she was puking in the bushes, holding her hair back, that she wasn't sick in the traditional sense. She hadn't drank that much, and we had been eating the same things all day, so it wasn't food poisoning. I could see it in the way she was breathing roughly, eyes wide with fear, that her mind was making her react this way. Something had jarred her so bad that this was the only way her body could react.

When she let me, I held her, tucking her face into my chest. I wished I could do more, and when she asked me to take her home, I couldn't lie and say I wasn't hoping that she would open up to me more.

I didn't know if it was a matter of trust or she literally couldn't say it, but that night she freaked out on my bed after telling me about how she was treated in the system before finding Darla, was eye opening for me. I honestly didn't think there was anything that we wouldn't be comfortable talking about, but I underestimated her trauma. It wasn't hard not to. Dani hid her pain extremely well.

But it was when we were leaving, and she bumped into that guy that I realized just how bad it was. The sound of her name coming out of his mouth felt like acid to my core. It was the way his eyes recognized her, going from indifference to flashing through memories to a predatory look. At the time, I almost thought I was imagining it, more focused on getting Dani away from the party.

It wasn't until days of overthinking that whole night, the interaction playing over and over in my head that I realized what the look was. It made me sick to my stomach to think about, and her desperate eyes peering up at me in the car as I buckled her in...

I felt my heart break for the first time in my life, just seeing this strong woman I've grown to adore and care for so much look utterly helpless and broken. I nearly puked myself, feeling sick at the sight.

Holding her naked body in the shower, sobbing recklessly in my arms shattered me. If I thought I was hurt before it was nothing like that pain. I tried my best to take care of her, giving her some clothes and blowdrying her hair before bed. All I could do was offer her the warmth of my body and the meaning of my words.

I didn't know how much weight they carried, though. Not in Dani's world. She had been lied to, abused, and given her trust to the wrong people so many times that I understood why she was so hesitant around new people. I think I had been the only person she had ever felt that comfort from the start with.

My mind would wander down those dark paths, though. My own brain making up horrible scenarios of what had happened to her. I knew deep down what it was, but I didn't want to admit it to myself. I didn't want to think the worst, but when Dani had reacted so harshly to just the bump of his shoulder I couldn't help it.