Issues // H.S. // A.U.

Chapter Twenty-Six

TRIGGER WARNING:  Please be very careful reading further. The next few chapters are tough to read, and some characters recall very traumatic events involving abuse.

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HARRY

Fuck, I was so in love with her.

I was deep, deep, in the pits with this, and I loved it. I loved this feeling. It was this perfect mix of terrifying, exhilarating, and ecstasy. It was strange and different, and I thought I had been in love before, but now I know for sure I hadn't been.

Maybe I loved my last two girlfriends. They meant a lot to me and they still do - even though they both broke my heart - but it's in such a different way. They mean a lot, because they led me to this.

Love.

Real, grueling, heart-wrenching love.

I may have loved them, but I wasn't in love with them. That was reserved for Dani. This strong-willed, damaged girl who turned my whole world around. Nothing compared to her. Nothing in the slightest. She could make my heart beat wildly, make me speechless, but also break me.

And that was what was scary. Terrifying, really. But I would take it. I would take her breaking me over and over like this week to just be with her.

She had been so open with me last night, promising me that she hadn't meant to push me away the way she had. I understood where she was coming from, but I thought it was ridiculous that she really thought that I would be better off without her. Maybe that was my fault. Maybe I needed to express it better.

Dani had spent her whole life with people who didn't give a damn about her. The number of people she could count on was so small, and I hated it. I hated that she didn't trust so easily, no matter how proud I was of the fact that I was one of the people she did choose to trust. It meant that it had been so abhorrently betrayed by someone that it broke that part in her.

I always knew that was a hard thing for her, that while I had commitment issues, she had trust issues. And now I knew more about why and who.

That piece of shit at the party. The one who bumped into her. I wanted to fucking kill him. The rage rushing through my body was only tempered by the fact that Dani needed me here with her. If she didn't, then I would be tracking that mother fucker down, and beating him to a pulp.

The fact that he was at her work caused mass panic inside of me. Whether that was by accident or not, he now knew where to find her. I needed to know more about this situation, but I also didn't want to push her nor ruin the moment between us.

Since she woke up this morning, Dani has seemed so much lighter. She smiled softly, and her hazel eyes had that gleam in them I adored. It was amazing to see her like this, so alive and open. I didn't feel like I was walking on eggshells, or that I had no clue how to properly comfort her, but I also was worried about how fragile her state was. She had been through so much, and she had been so brave to talk to me last night about what had happened to her.

But she kept surprising me all morning. First she got in the shower with me after brushing our teeth, hugging me to her body. It was nothing sexual, our touches about comfort, and I tried to convey how much I loved her as I washed her hair, massaging into her scalp.

Last night as she fell asleep in my arms, I had made a promise to myself to never have her question my feelings, intentions, or love for her. I knew she was so worried that I would see her in a different light, and that meant that I wasn't doing all that I could to reassure her. I was going to show her everyday how much I cared for her.