Waves

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First I blame you, then I want you
Fucking hate you, then I love you
I can't help myself, no
When I have you, wanna leave you
If you go, that's when I need you
I can't help myself, no
Waves| Normani & 6lack

Dream
Bored. The word of the day for the whole house. All we do is sit and look at each other, every since what happened. We never left the house, we staye din until everything started to die down.

"Knock knock." Damia said knocking on my door honestly surprising me. She hadn't talked to me since we got Sekani back.

"Come in." I said still laying in my same spot.

She came in closing the door all the way behind her before sitting on the bed.

"Dream, I am so sorry for the way I acted. I was just you know, confused, scared and hurt. That had to be the most scariest shit that has ever happened to me and I was honestly going off on everybody but you got it the worst. The worst feeling in the world has to be having your child taken from you and their life being in danger. You don't understand right now, but when you become a mother, it's your kid. It's your life, my life was ripped away from me for that period of time and I'm telling you now, it felt like I was dying. You got it the worse and I can't explain how bad I feel. Going this long without talking to you is something that I never want to do again. I don't know if you'd forgive me, I wouldn't I'd fuck around and be like "Bitch fuck you and that ugly ass kid.", but that's me."

I stayed silent for a minute, I had so much that I had to get off my chest. I wanted to tell her everything that I felt in the moments where I cried because I thought everything that happened was my fault, but I didn't.

"Okay." was all I could say, yeah I missed talking to my sister, but my feelings were still hurt.

"I understand if you don't want to talk to me." she said and I nodded.

"And I don't want to talk. Close the door all the way when you let yourself out." I flipped over putting the cover over my head and prepaired to take my fifth nap of the day.

———

"Well look who's up after sleeping like a bear." Dad joked as I went into their room.

"Haha. Very funny." I said sarcasticly getting in the bed with him.

"Whats on your mind?" he asked moving my hair out my face.

"Nothing. I was just thinking about how much I appreciate you and love you. Mom too. I couldn't ask for better parents." I sighed hugging him tight.

He smiled kissing my forehead. "I love you way more. You don't even know."

It was moments like this that I wanted to keep forever. My father may have did some bad, but he couldn't do no wrong in my eyes. He was literally perfect and it was going to stay that way no matter what happened.

"Princess?" he called out.

"Hm?" I replied still buried in his chest.

"I want you to talk to your sister."

"Oh, no." I shook my head.

"Tell me why?"

"I mean the way she acted towards me. That really hurt my feelings. I knew it wasn't going to go back normal after we got Kani back. The way she spoke to me and was treating me. She made me feel like complete poop when she said that it was my fault. Then she continued to hurt my feelings. Especially when she told me that she hoped that he stabbed me. That man was really crazy and he could've really did that. I don't care if it was just a in the moment saying, that hurt my feelings during and after that." I sighed wiping my face. "My feelings are currently still hurt and I couldn't fake it."

Dad nodded. "Well, she told me that she's open for it anytime that you feel like you're ready. Take your time. We are not rushing you at all."

It was silent while he played the game on his phone and I started to fall asleep again. I would come around when I felt better.

Somebody shook me causing me to take up and I seen it was Lucas. I was in my room now which is weird because I didn't remember coming in here. "What?"

"Wake up. You been sleep most of the day. I don't even think you ate."

"I did. Sekani gave me some chicken nuggets that I think he sucked on." I laughed a little with my eyes still closed.

"Ew, nigga and you ate them? You different."

"I was being nice. He seemed like he really wanted to give them to me so I took them." I shrugged. "What do you want again?"

"If you open your eyes, you'll see." he said.

I opened my eyes and seem him smiling at me then looking at the floor. I looked down at the floor and seen a trail of candles and roses leading out the room to which I would only assume the bathroom.

"For me?" I asked with a smile getting up.

"Naw. For my other girlfriend. That's why I need you to leave so she came come and we do nasty stuff." he said laughing once I mugged him. "Of course it's for you. Who else would it be for."

"Your other girlfriend that you just told me about."

He shook his head. "Just bring your ass before the bath water gets cold." he said walking down the trail and I followed him to the bathroom which has some roses on the counter, some more candles and rose petals in the water.

"What did I do to deserve this special kind of love? What made you want to do all of this?"

"Can I just be nice without you asking all these questions?" he asked.

"No." I shook my head and his face dropped.

"I'm kidding." I said taking off my clothes getting into the warm water. My muscles instantly started to relax.

From the corner of my eye, I could see that he was getting undressed too and soon, he had gotten into the water too.

"You're getting in too? What's up?" I asked putting my legs on top of his.

"I just want you to be comfortable. It's been a lot going on." He started making himself comfortable while making sure that I was comfortable too. "I just want you to know that I really do love you and I don't want you to forget that. I know that I've been gone for a while and you may not still feel the love, shit you prolly don't even feel the same way about me like you used to. I just want you know that I won't allow anything else crazy to happen to you. You don't have to worry about shit going south with us. I got you forever and forever after that. I can't see myself without you and I just gotta let you know how I feel about you." he laughed.

"You make a nigga feel all soft and giggly when you just be yourself and give me love. You make me feel like I'm a good person even though we both know that ain't no where near the truth. I've done some shit that I can't take back but you ain't never judge a nigga for it. You dead ass just been there and I just want to be there for you like that."

I thought about what I was going to say for a minute before I started to speak. "I love you too. I know you're the same person that left a few years back in my head, but I still have to bring myself to notice it's you and notice that you're not leaving anymore. It's kind of hard, but it's slowly happening. I don't blame you for anything that you've done because I'm no one to blame or judge, I don't have that right. No matter what you did, I know you had a good reason for it, why would I judge you for that? You make me happy when you're not being a poot." I laughed and he laughed too. "I'd never put anything you did in your past against you. That's not my place and you have never did any of those things to me. What's in the past, is in the past. You can't move forward if you're constantly looking back into the past."

And that was something I really felt. I couldn't constantly keep looking back on all the bad stuff that was happening to me because it was making me sad all the time and causing me to be depressed.

"You know Imma marry you one day right?" he said and I nodded. "I'm dead ass about that too. You might think I'm joking but I'm serious."

"I know you're serious."

"And Imma try to make it happen soon." he said kissing my hand, then my forehead, then my lips.

-highly unedited 😂.

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