Hoping Never Ends Well With Us

Chapter 19

Ty POV

"I can't believe that I had to come home only to find you in bed having sex in my house!" My father yelled at me as he paced the floor outside my bedroom. I was now completely dressed, carefully watching him. My dad wasn't too much of a big guy. He took his health seriously, so he made sure he worked out and ate pretty healthy. He stood only a few inches taller than me with his 5'10 stature. Regardless, he wasn't stronger nor bigger that Rade himself. Rade didn't fight back out of respect for me and I'm thankful.

Once I had broken them up I rushed Rade out the room and told him to clean up in the second bathroom on the other side of the house. Now here I am having to look my angered father in the eyes and have this conversation.

"Dad I apologize for you seeing that. I didn't know you were coming home. But you didn't have to do Rade like that though." Of course any father would react like that but this isn't just any guy. Rade has been around for years and has even had a few good conversations with my overall absent father.

"What the hell do you mean? You think it makes it any better because it's him!" He yelled at me again and it was getting a bit agitating at this point. I took a few deep breaths before I decided to continue with the conversation.

"Look, dad I'm 18. That was unfortunately an experience that neither one of us wanted you to witness. But I'm old enough to decide to give my body away when I'm ready." I said sternly. Honestly that was my first real sexual experience and it was ruined by my father. Utterly embarrassing.

"Last time I checked you were dating, what's his name? Anyways, I come home to Rade in your bed instead." I could hear the judgement of my actions leaking into his words. He looked at me with hidden disgust. Honestly it was shocking that he didn't even remember the name of the guy that I had dated for so long. My rage and the respect for my father were at war now. Again I took a few more deep breaths before speaking.

"His name is Jayshun. We broke up awhile ago, for so many reasons. You make it seem like I can't move on. I still don't understand why you are so hostile towards Rade."

"The boy is in my house fucking my daughter and disrespecting your mother. What else have you been doing in my house?" He demanded aggressively stalking up to me. His brown eyes were darker and colder. My rage seemed to have the upper hand now.

"If you were here for more than 10 mins every visit then maybe none of this would be such a surprise to you." I snapped with irritation radiating in my words.

"Ty watch your fucking mouth."

"Do you really think I care about how we made her feel? Hahaha! After everything she has done to us, you really expect me to just revert back to that 6yo girl who is going to beg a deadbeat mother to stick around. And then you...

"What about me, huh? That old grudge that you have against your mother is understandable. But what have I done besides pay these bills, put cloths on your back and food in you stomach." The sarcasm and entitlement in his words cracked every wall that was holding back the ocean of years of rage.

"Just because you didn't pack your shit and leave like you ex wife did, doesn't mean you didn't abandon me as well. You stopped coming home. You barely communicate with me. You don't check on me. There was no attention, no motivation, and no guidance on your part. You think paying bills and throwing your money at me is being a father. She might have completely abandon me but I would rather accept that than somebody who is going to half ass parent me. You put distanced between us when I needed you the most, so don't fucking expect a father of the year award from me! "

Releasing all of that pent of rage that was building up for years upon years left my body shaking from its hot intensity. My lips moved on their own accord being fueled by my neglected emotions.

My dad stood in front of me speechless and motionless. I can see tear drops welling up in eyes as my words sunk in and pierced his heart.

He said nothing as his eyes dropped to the floor. He walked off making his way down the hallway. Reaching the front door, he opened it and walked out while never glancing back at me.

As my blood began to settle and my breathing slowed, I stood there a bit conflicted. Of course it crushes me to see the pain I inflicted onto my father, but what about me? What about my feelings. And here I stand all alone again.

"Hey, is it safe to come out now?" I heard Rade whisper yell from down the hallway.

"Yeah"

"Babe are you ok?"

"Honestly I don't know."

"Where is your Dad."

"He just left. I don't know where he could be going. I didn't even know that he was coming home." I whispered looking down at the floor.

" I know. I apologize for causing all of this." The guilt was evident in his voice as he pulled me into a strong embrace. He laid gentle kisses on my forehead.

"Don't try to blame yourself for all of this."

"You shouldn't blame yourself either then." We broke apart momentarily to look at each other.
I didn't regret anything we did, the timing just was so horrible.

We made our way back into my bed as we sat across from each other. I am at a lost honestly.

"Do you think your mom and dad are trying to rekindle things?" Rade asked me nervously.

That question left me shocked. It never crossed my mind that I would ever see my mother again. Now I have to contemplate the ideal that maybe her sudden appearance is the result of the two of them making up? No. No. No.

"If they are, they deserve each other." That's all I had to say. Of course it wasn't something that I wanted. Even if the could patch up there relationship, that makes no difference to me. There has been no effort put towards me.

"I should probably get out of here babe before they come back." His face look so sad and it the last thing I want right now is to be alone with all of these feelings and negative thought.

"Can I come with you?" I asked with a pout.

"You know you don't have to even ask that. Bring your sexy ass on." That put a smile on my face.

"Yes sir."