make a bag. (discontinued) ⭢ 𝖬𝖩 ︎︎︎︎

💸 | SIXTEEN.

"'Ion like bein' compared to these other basic ass niggas. I ain't like them and anybody can see 'dat."

, Michael

•••

~Re'Najsha~
"confessions"

Staring up at the ceilin', my mind was currently all over the place. Michael eventually went back to the gang's house, Va'Leia called me earlier this morning and told me that she was still with Soraya—like always—, and my aunt Tanisha still hadn't been home in the past couple of days.

So after Friday morning, it's been just me and Kentrell. Though he hasn't been really fond with Va'Leia being out of the house for as long as she's been, it's actually better than her being here when a lot of things are out of place.

Michael never finished tellin' me what happened Thursday night, and to be honest I'm not really that curious anymore. If something that involves me happened, it'll be exposed eventually.

As of right now, I don't feel much of anything. I keep tryin' to convince myself that I don't like Michael... 'cuz I can't like him. But whenever I end up thinking about him, I always catch myself smiling and I hate it. It's disgusting.

He's in a gang with my brother and my best friend, so that would be really awkward for one. And two, my brother would go beyond insane if Michael and I ever dated. I've never even had a real boyfriend 'cuz of him.

Every time I've gotten a boyfriend, he'd always fold on me 'cuz Kentrell ain't trust him. Either that, or they'd think I'm too much of a person to handle.

They didn't understand my pain, and when I acted out they claimed it as "overreacting" and dipped. I could care less anyways, 'cuz havin' a boyfriend wasn't at the top of my priority list in high school jus' 'cuz high school boys are indecisive.

And plus sometimes I can't but let my mind wander to the first time we met. When he basically insulted my mama... and every time I think about it, I wanna go back in time and punch the hell outta him. But he didn't know that my parents were dead like everyone else did.

Then, that kiss... that totally caught me off guard. I expected him to raise his voice at me, or insult me, or at least tell me to get out of his face—but instead we kissed. And the fact that he didn't pull back makes me feel like that he doesn't find me completely intolerable?

But that's how most relationships start. You meet the person, and when you look at them you'd think that they wouldn't betray you or do anything to hurt you 'cuz they look like the type that wouldn't... but that's the beginning, when you have no idea of what their intentions are.

'Nd I don't know what Michael's are. I remember one night last week I went to go talk to him about the hidden money, and just when I was about to walk up to their doorstep where he was staring off into space—another girl showed up.

I didn't wanna jump to conclusions that they were seeing each other, but when I saw that he almost kissed her that was basically concluded my curiousness. They clearly have a history, and I refuse to beef wit' a female over a damn nigga.

That's clown shit.

I confronted him about it, but it wasn't a dramatic confrontation. I kept it simple and subtle, only 'cuz I know how I get when I let my thoughts take over. And when he clearly didn't wanna talk about it, I left it alone.