Academy Of Sins (GirlxGirl)

Chapter 21

Hayden's pov

I was filled with a range of emotions
Anger. Sadness. Regret

It was all so overwhelming.

"Hayden? What are you doing here?" Cameron asks as I entered her tent

"Can I stay with you tonight?" I ask, she happily nods

"Is something wrong?" she tilted her head observing me. I felt exposed the longer her eyes trailed over me

"I'm just over it" I say

"Over what?"

"Everything with Maddison" I rubbed my temples

"Come here" She opened her arms. Who am I to decline.

"I'm sorry" I said resting my head in her forearm.

"For what?" She asked.

"For bothering you with my problems" I answered.

"Any time that I spend with you is always worth it. If you call getting to know you more a disturbance, then yeah I am very disturbed" She chuckled and so did I.

"So, do you mind disturbing me some more?" She squeezed me in her arms. It felt nice to be wanted like this, not just for sex.

"I don't really want to, I just want to lay here with you" I looked up at her.

"That's fine with me" She said. We just laid there in silence. It felt so peaceful, as if the world had stopped and only us two were in it.

As I laid there I remembered when my life was less complicated.

A time when I was out having fun, dancing in the moonlight at night, maybe causing a little trouble, not having a care in the world, just living my best life

Ahhh, but I still wouldn't trade this moment right here for anything. All of my struggles led me here
That was my last thought I had before I slipped into a state of unconsciousness in Cameron's arms

....................

My eyes slowly opened, immediately flooded with thoughts racing.
I really have to distance myself from Maddison, She needs to understand herself, I don't wanna confuse that.
I just need to let that go and be as supportive as I can as her friend,
She needs to understand this.

There's always a conflict with the heart and the mind

Fortunately for me, I knew what I wanted. In this case, who I wanted.

Cameron

She's such an incredible person, she's made me feel things that I've never felt with someone before.

For me to give myself to her I must first make sure that Maddison understands that I just want to be friends.

I flipped over to see Cameron still sleeping, her lips slightly parted, a few strands of hair rested on her cheek.

Oh My Fucking god she's so gorgeous, how can someone so beautiful exist?

She was making it so hard to leave, but I had to go back to my tent with Maddison to start packing. I gave Cameron a small kiss on her forehead before heading back to my tent

I opened the tent and went inside to find Maddison awake crying, she looked like she was crying all night. I felt really guilty, was this because of me?

"Are you okay" I asked.

"Do I look like I'm fucking fine" whoops

"you have the nerve to ask that question after what you did to me last night?" She wiped a tear.

"I didn't do anything to you" I gave her a questioning look

"I was willing to give myself to you and you rejected me and ran out, I felt so worthless" She looks down.

"You said that it was a mistake. That we were a fucking mistake. I liked you Maddison, I really did and I respect you but I'm not going to sit here and let you use me everytime you feel frisky, I'm not going to be anyone's mistake, Not my mom and certainly not yours" I sat on my sleeping bag.

"I didn't know what I wanted. I'm trying to figure myself out. Everything was going so fucking good until you came. It's like you're everywhere, I can't get you off my mind. You're everything I think about" She pleaded.

"Well everything takes time, Maddison, you're conflicted, you're fighting yourself. I don't think now's the right time for you to place yourself in a relationship. I'll always be around for you. Anything you need I'll be here. As your friend" I say.

"But I don't know if I can, I really don't want to" she hung her head. It was breaking my heart to see her like this. Was I doing the right thing?

I don't want to question myself. This was my decision, it's whats best for both of us.

"You're going to have to try because this is not healthy and I hate seeing my friends like this" I wipe a tear from her eye,

"B-but" She rest her head on my shoulder, tears soaking my shirt. I held her trembling body for a while.

Maddison was fighting a battle with herself, there was so much that she's dealing with.

We can't love someone without loving ourselves first

She needed to be completely comfortable with who she is, she still hadn't figured that out yet but I'll always be here to help her through her journey

We let go, she got up and went outside for some air and I stayed in the tent to gather my belongings

I layed there for a few minutes not even thinking about breakfast.
I can't eat when I feel conflicted, I feel very guilty about letting Maddison go but I also feel good that we had this talk.

I want to start a healthy relationship with Cameron.

I laid there, wondering if my dad agreed to sending me to camp. Was he even aware that I graduated?

I remembered when I was little, I accidentally tripped over a few dishes.

Whenever I got into trouble with my mom, I'd run straight to him. He'd pick me up and hold me in his shoulders. I always felt safe in his arms, like nothing could ever hurt me.

I shook my head and grabbed my belongings and left

This trip was an eye opener. Who knew