dependent

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i haven’t seen or heard from jasper in two days, and i should be worried but i don’t want to become that over-protective… girlfriend? were we a couple? i asked him a few days ago if we were going to become like those couples, and his response wasn’t a yes or no.

i sigh and hang my head, catching a glimpse of a hardback book underneath my bed. i grab it and it’s the journal. i touch the ripped flaps and scratches and my eyes flicker back and forth. i open it like it’s the most valuable thing on the earth, and i flip to a random page.

entry thirty-eight.

date: 8/26

i can’t do this without you anymore.

please, come home.

i was so dependent on you, and i still am. should i be concerned for myself on how much i love you? what would happen if you really did have to go somewhere for a while? would i still be longing for you? would i still be waiting for you?

i bite my nail and sigh once again, meeting frustration.

maybe i just need some sleep.

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