valerie’s p.o.v.
knock, knock.
i look at the door when suddenly, the door opens quickly and i see a flash of raven hair and it’s you. jasper.
“jasper,” i gasp out. you rush over to me and i sit up in response. you grab my hand and you lead me to the bathroom in the little, sheltered room. you’re careful with me, but it’s happening so quick. i can’t say anything because i’m too surprised and you close the door behind us. you look at me and your eyes go down to my stomach.
“jasper—“
you place your rosy, pink lips on mine and my eyes close in response. your arm wraps around the other side where i’m not injured and your other hand cups my cheek. i kiss you back and your lips are soft and warm and my mouth opens and your tongue slips in and dances with mine. you taste of cherries and i delve into it. you turn around so my back is to the door and you kiss the corners of my mouth and my eyes open.
“jas—“ i start to say, but a soft moan comes out of my mouth when i feel your warm lips kiss the side of my neck. i put my fingers through your soft, raven hair and it feels like a daydream, but it’s real. i grab the sides of your face and try to bring your lips back to mine. your eyes open and you’re staring at my lips. we’re both breathing hard and the atmosphere is filled with tension and it feels so warm in here.
you start to lean in and i was staring at your swollen lips and all sorts of things were going through my mind as you neared and neared. when our lips were centimeters from touching, when i felt your lips hover over mine, i felt my heart racing again. i closed my eyes, only for them to be opened a second later.
“i’m moving,” you say breathily and quietly, and my eyes snap up to your own. jade eyes that are glazed with emotion, are now filling with dread and guilt and your bottom lips quivers.
“what?” i whisper. i pull my face back from yours and now that i can finally look at you, you look away.
“i’m moving,” you quietly repeat. “my-my parents… and i.”
it feels like my heart dropped to my stomach and it’s drowning in acid. i’m silent for a while. “what?” i ask in a hushed tone.
you look at me and that’s when i know it can’t be good. my eyes feel wet and they’re prickly. “i’m leaving,” you say. i close my eyes and i cover my hands over my eyes and i sink to the ground. you slide down the wall as well and sit next to me.
“i-i don’t want to go,” you say. “i don’t—“
“then don’t, jasper,” i reply, hiding my tear-streaked face and all. “stay.”
you gnaw on your lip and heavy silence fills the room. nothing is said for a while and the air feels thick.
“how long?” i suddenly ask as a mere whisper, looking at you from the side.
“how long ‘till what?”
“how long… until you leave?”
you gulp. “two to three days.”
such short notice, jasper. i scoot closer to you and our arms are touching. you stare straight ahead, deep in thought.
“then what?” i ask, moving my hand to hold his, but i don’t. i stop myself and look at him.
you look back at me. “i’ll be somewhere else,” you say, shrugging a shoulder while sniffing. you’re not crying. you wouldn’t cry, anyways. you’ve never been that open and you wouldn’t be that open at this moment. your walls are too high and i want to see through you, i want you to be transparent, but you aren’t.
“you’ll come back, right?” i ask.
you don’t respond.
“your whole life is here…” i trail off. “you have to come back, right?”
“my-my parents… they said it’d be a new start, you know? nobody knows your name and you can finally start a clean reputation. you can be whoever you want and no one would bring up your past, because they don’t know you. but here, people know your name and they know about you and what makes up of you. they know your weaknesses and strengths and what could make or break you,” he says. he runs a hand through his raven hair. “it’d be a clean, fresh start. maybe that’s what i need and you do, too. i’m not good for you, and you know it.”
“so, you’re giving up everything just because you’ve had a shitty past?” i ask loudly, standing up carefully and looking at him incredulously.
“you don’t get it—“ you start, but i cut him off.
“i can’t,” i say, disbelievingly. “i just can’t do it.”
you look up at me, and it’s your turn to give me an incredulous look. “do what?”
“i can’t make you stay! i lost you once and now i’m losing you all over again!” i yell. your eyes go wide and i look away. “i’m just… you should go,” i say, pushing a strand of hair behind my hair.
you push on your palms to stand up, and when you do, you’re standing a few inches away from me and i can feel your body warmth next to me. i look down at my shoes.
“you shouldn’t be so strung out on someone like me,” you say, more to yourself than me. “i… i just want to start over, val. i’m sick of it here. i’m scared of hurting you. it haunts me, val! every damn day, don’t you understand that? i left you for a year, i got stabbed, and you got shot and you’re still here, trying to heal the injury i put you through. this-this isn’t healthy...”
i shake my head. “whatever you say,” i say, but my voice breaks halfway and i swallow the lump in my throat.
“i’m moving,” you deadpan and realization struck me. you wouldn’t stay. not for me. not for anybody, really.
“i know…”
you tilt my chin up with one of your fingers and i’m suddenly staring at you. you give me a soft smile that makes the butterflies in my stomach go wild, and breaks my heart.
“i’ll still be here,” you say. i look into your jade eyes and they’re dull. they seem lifeless, but yet they still manage a hint of sparkle. “just not physically…”
i look away as my eyes water and i whisper, “you promised forever, jasper…”
you bring your lips to my forehead and leave a delicate kiss before pulling away. “it’s not broken, val.” i nod and you shake your head in dismissal. “twenty years from now you’ll find pieces of me wherever you go. i’ll find pieces of you wherever i’m at, and that’s the kind of forever i meant. we’ll know each other forever.”
“was that a goodbye kiss, jasper?”
you smile sadly at me and it’s that kind of smile that makes me wish you would stay. i wish i could see it every day and i’ll only see it for a few more.
“it’s time to let go, val.”
“okay,” i choke out in a barely audible voice, looking away. “okay.”
