Guilty Pleasure (Larry Stylinson - Stranger sequel)

Chapter 38 (Surprise)

Louis

I had many things planned ahead for us. I love Harry, he loved me, but there was something not wanting me to get married. If you ask me if I am scared, then of course I am, there are way too many things that could go wrong, and there are a considerable amount of things that will go wrong. I didn´t leave Harry with his fancy suit and elegant hat on, waiting for me, I didn´t, I just leave and he knew it.

And apparently that's what I do best. I have my suitcase ready.

Lena is the name of my publisher, she love Stranger since the minute she read the first lines. Now 1 week from now, it was finally going to be in the library, for any human to buy it. It was basically the story of me and Harry, but the ending now I wasn't too sure about.

She wanted me to go to New York for the week, do some promos in libraries and radios, at the begging, I didn´t want to, but after almost no thought, I say yes. But that yes implied postponing the wedding. Harry was crushed when I told him, but he is smart, and he notice that in fact, I was scared.

-       What are you doing?- Zayn interrupt me

-       I have to leave for a while- I answer

-       And the wedding?- he asks confused

-       Off- It sounds terrible

-       Harry must be so sad- he looks at me, disappointed yet mad- What happened?

-       Business

-       You're the one that talks Louis, what really happened?- he gets me

-       I am a bad person Zayn, and I won't be a good husband for Harry- I say a little desperate

-       Stop doing that!- he tells me- Don´t run away Louis, he loves you with all his heart, last time you did this, he almost dies of sadness, you can´t be so selfish

-       Zayn…- I am in the verge of crying but I don´t- I have to leave

-       No you don´t! Millions of lads will give their life to found someone like Harry, and you're just walking away from him

-       I am not brave, Harry told me that- I have his words tattooed on my brain

-       Show him the contrary!- Zayn is right, but he won´t feel like looking at me, I am awful

I grab my suitcase and kiss Zayn in the cheek. Niall's in the living room, he has the Tv on mute, so of course he listen to everything.

-       Louis, don´t do this- he begs me

-       Niall, I am sorry- I say and then leave for the airport.

My suitcase isn´t packed for a week, I am leaving until I feel it's right for me to come back.

ºººº

New York is enormous, as I look out the window I can see the skyscrapers, they're just like in the movies, it's surreal that I am going to be in one of them soon. My publisher haven't told me yet which one is actually making my book a reality but I've work so hard, there is just one thing missing.

Yes, I did call Harry, yes more than once, and yes he didn't pick up. I don't blame him though. When things go wrong, it's because I am the one who panics, but then he panics with me, only difference is that he never leaves me. Harry is the type of person that looks for me, that is willing to forgive me, that is always there, and I am the asshole. But something inside me just doesn’t think we are ready to give the big step, and it's contradictory because then again, I do want to stay with him.

ºººº

JFK airport is gigantic; London Euton surely looks like a shoe store next to this. Harry would've liked it; the duty free is full of pretty hats and bandanas, I’m going to but something for him.

I buy a black fedora, with a feather on it, it's not pimp looking though, it's classy and elegant and edgy, as Harry would say, and after all he is the type of person that looks adorable with any type of headwear.

- Hey- a girl of around 20 something says- First time in New York City? - she moves her head, that makes her look stupid, whoever told girls that they look pretty acting stupid was bollocks
- No- I say trying to face away, and continue in line to pay for the fedora
- Oh, I see- the girl looks at the fedora- You have a girlfriend
- I think I do- I tell her- Actually fiancé... Kind of
- Trouble in paradise?
- It's complicated- and this girl have no idea, and honestly I don't either

My phone buzzes and I see about 10 texts from Michael; each one with a different lame insult.
- Idiot (as if I didn't knew)
- AssCrack
- Floor licker
- Fairy Gone wrong
- Sissy voice (that one's true though)
-  Cum back

Not sure about the meaning of that last one, but Mikey has some kind of swing moods so I try to understand. The girl is still looking at me, she is next in line and I see she buys some sweets and a scarf, then I check the fedora and the cashier boy winks at me, I put a disgusted face and leave.

- Hey! - the girl pulls me by my shoulder- Good luck on your girl, she is lucky

I look at her and think that actually, I am the lucky one.