𝑫𝒊𝒔𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒅 💻 Larry Stylinson Social Media AU | ✔️

𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲 𝐬𝐢𝐱

Trigger warning // mention of hurting

Harry had another stressful day at work. He got home and went to the kitchen to get himself a beer. Niall and Zayn must be out cause usually at this time, they're always on the living room watching a movie or series. He sighed and sat down at the stool in the kitchen, drinking a beer. Once he finish it, he get another one from the fridge pop it open and drank it again. He opened his and Louis' message and type out the things he wanted to say.

backspace backspace

typing...

backspace backspace

He groaned and slammed his beer on the table.

Harry what the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you like this? Man up and talk to him.

He got into a fight with his mind and he screamed in pain because it doesn't stop. His thoughts keep debating whether he should do it or not. He slipped down on the floor causing him to bump his jead on the tiled counter. He groaned loudly and throw the bottle of beer.

Fucking talk to him Harry. He's your boyfriend for god's sake. He's going to understand you. He loves you.

He stayed there and sob. He's so much in pain. He don't know what to do. He can't talk to Louis, to his two best friends, his sister or mom. He can't and he don't know why.

You're a fucking pussy Harry.

"STOOOOP!" He screamed, hitting his head with his hands repeatedly. He doesn't feel any pain, he just keep hitting it until it felt numb. His hands were flashing in red, pain now enveloping his whole body. He can't move, he's paralyzed as statues in museums. His eyes roamed around the kitchen until it landed on the shattered bottle. A few liquid had spilled everywhere but he didn't mind. He'll cleaned up that mess later. He stared at it and wondered how fragile that bottle is just like him.

Suddenly his phone vibrated and saw Niall's message.

"h, me and zayn stopped by the convenience to buy some supplies, do you need anything?"

Harry replied with a simple 'no' before he shut it off. It doesn't stop there, his got another text and this time it's from Louis.

"Hi babe! Home already?"

He took a deep sigh before he turned his phone off. Did he deserve Louis? Is he worth it for him? What he's doing to him is very unfair and Harry don't understand why can't he speak up. He isn't like this at all, the hates really take effects on him. He's going crazy. He overreact to every small things.

He got up from his position and a pain shoot him in his head. He stumbled a bit, glad that he held on to the counter before he falls. He walked slowly to were the broom are and started cleaning the mess he made. He don't want Zayn and Niall to see it otherwise they're going to question him and he can't and won't talk. When he's done he went to his bedroom and lay there, he didn't even bother to eat dinner.

He fall asleep, completely forgotten to reply to Louis' message.

-*-

This has been going on for days. He's so exhausted to the point where he just want to shoot himself in the head.

He barely talks to Louis now, his reasons were always 'i'm busy', 'loads of works' anything like that. He felt so guilty that he kept everything from Louis. It's like Louis isn't his boyfriend. He doesn't have any explanation why he's doing that. It's other than being terrified, there's something more he can't quite explain. He's so tired. His mind can explode any minute now.

People have been sending him hates a lot lately, he don't understand why. He's a person with feelings, didn't they know how their words can affect him like that. He can't even speak up. He can't even stay longer on social medias because those words cut like knives. It's really exhausting. The things he see online is really like a poison affecting his mind. He just want to crack his head open and just smash his brain from being so sensitive.

Hates like he's just using Louis for money cause he's rich, he's using him to boost and attract modelling companies, death threats by Louis' own fans, saying he's too ugly, feeling like a cool kid next door, wannabe model, not a good example to Louis' young fans, a fagg*t, he's not good for Louis cause he's the one who's going to ruin his career and a lot more that is too painful for Louis. He told himself a long time ago that he won't let the hates get to him. But now the tables have turned, he's been reading a lot more and it just keeps going and coming. It's like it's the earth that keeps rotating forever, instead it's all night, no sun, no light. It's dark and scary.

It got him so bad that he doesn't eat much anymore. He doesn't interact with his best friends that much, even to his own boyfriend. Louis still hasn't have knowledge on what's happening to Harry, even Niall and Zayn because he's an actor, so great in pretending. You could even give him an Oscars for having the best facade.

Louis and Harry doesn't spent much time around each other lately. Louis started working on some new songs already, Zayn and Niall is also busy with their own internship.

That's great, he thought. He loves being alone now. He's so immune that he always avoid having long conversation with Niall and Zayn. Even to Louis, his replies were a bit short nowadays and they don't banter now. It's strange, but Louis does caught it yet, but hopefully he won't.

This thought is always in his mind and he don't know if it's the right decision. But he felt that IT is the right decision. He cried on his bed, also hurting himself more by listening to Perfect Now. His sobbed turned into a panic attack. It's 3 in the morning, no one knew he's awake. He tried calming himself, slowly breathing and then drink a glass of water he kept beside him just in case.

He love Louis so damn much. But loving him sometimes feels like he's being suffocated. Loving him sometimes feels like he's drowning beneath the waves of the ocean and no one's there to save him.

He doesn't understand himself. Everything around him started to fall apart one by one. He doesn't blame them, he's blaming himself from everything.

He loves Louis, his soulmate and his world. But the decision he set in his mind is final. He can't take it anymore.