𝑫𝒊𝒔𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒅 💻 Larry Stylinson Social Media AU | ✔️

𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲 𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

"Louis?" Harry said lowly on the phone. "If you are not busy, can we talk personally?"

"Sure babe, I'm not busy at the moment." Louis said, sensing that there's something wrong. "What's going on?"

"Can we meet up at the field near my school? In 20 minutes?"

"Okay?" Louis replied, confused. "Harry, tell me what's going on."

"I'm sorry Louis." That's all Harry replied before he turn the call off.

Harry grabbed his keys and walked to his car, having a heavy feeling in his heart. He drove himself to the empty field, almost in the middle of the night. He ignored all the text and call of Louis.

As he was driving, he can't even stop the tears falling out his eyes. He was in so much pain and he will be more when he tell it to Louis. All the memories of them flashing in his mind and he cried harder. This was very painful to him but he thinks it's for the best.

He arrived at the field with just a few street lights on. He saw another car and he knows it's Louis. He parked right beside it. He got out of the car and walk beside Louis.

"Harry, what's wrong?" Louis asked nervously. He got a feeling on where this is going but he don't want to assume. "Why here? Why not in my house or your dorm? Why in the middle of the night in this dark field?"

"I know you're going to hate me for this. And I hate myself for doing this." Harry breathed heavily, tears forming in his eyes. "I hope you know how much I love and support you with all my life, that I'm very thankful to everything we had for the past months, im thankful for all the times we spent together, the times you defended me, the times you made me very happy. Just everything in the past months that I've learn being with you. Thank you for all those wonderful memories Louis." Harry said, he's crying now. And Louis who was looking at him like he was a lost puppy, his eyes began to water.

"Harry why are saying this? What's happening?" Louis asked, his whole body shaking.

"I'm very sorry Louis." Harry apologized, finally looking at Louis in the eyes. He saw Louis, on the verge of crying, and that's when it all started to drop everything at him. Louis look so innocent and has no idea what's going on. Harry's face is full of regrets, like he just wants to throw himaelf on the cliff and die on the spot. "I think we should take a break."

Louis dropped down on his knees, unable to form any words, his body went limp. He can't even act, can't even bring himself to say something. He just sat there, his body feels like tons of rocks started to fall on his body at the same times. He cried.

Harry covered his face with both of his hands and started sobbing. He don't want to do this but he knows this is for the best.

"Harry, why?" That's all Louis could form after a while. He was in shock, his heart full of pain.

"I hate myself for keeping almost everything at you, I hate myself for bottling all this pain I felt inside my mind. I hate myself for pretending everything's okay. It's not your fault Louis, so don't you ever blame yourself. I'm at fault here, I'm the cause of it, me own self." Harry said in between sniffs.

"Harry I always told you that you can tell me everything to me, I told you countless times that I'm here to support and listen to you always. Why are you keeping everything to yourself to the point you made this decision?" Louis asked, his face numb from crying.

"I'm so scared Louis, I'm so scared that I started to ignore everything and put it on one side of my mind. Then it break all at once, it started to get me and I couldn't take it anymore." Harry said, wiping the nonstop tears from his eyes. "I'm so weak at this Louis, i didn't know I couldn't handle it. I thought I was strong enough to handle all these hates and death threats I received everyday. I'm fucking weak, I'm so fucking weak Louis. I'm so dumb and hard headed."

Louis stood up, his tears almost stopping from coming out. He can't look at Harry in the eyes. He's too hurt. But then Harry speak up again, this time he let it all out to him.

"I'm so tired louis. I couldn't handle everything anymore. The pressure from school and my internship, the struggle for ignoring all the hates from almost everyone on social media. The people from my school who only talk to me cause I know you. There's so much death threats I received over the last months and it fucking hurts Louis. I know I did this in the first place. But I dont regret it. I never, not a single cell I regret being public with you and being with you. Louis, I'm so sorry, my mental health is getting more serious and I just couldn't handle everything. I'm really tired. My brain's fried from everything. Their words really stab me in the heart. I thought I was strong, I really thought I can take it. But it's too much. Too much that I want to end my life. There's so much pressure from everyone around me cause if I do one bad thing, I can be cancelled for it. Like I'm trying so hard to be myself in public but I can't. There's so much expectation from people that I find it so hard to comprehend. My photoshoots, have you notice I turned the comments off? The nasty hates I receive from them, calling me names and everything. People made fun of me. I didnt tell you cause I was so afraid. Because I know you so much you will call them out and I dont want that to be out on medias. I can't stand all the hates to you. It hurts." He sobbed, sliding down on the dirty ground. He's hardly breathing but he don't showbit to Louis. He can't. He's too embarrassed for everything. He's a fucking idiot. Can lightning strike him already?

"I'm- Harry..fuck." Louis stuttered, suddenly feeling like a brick just hit him in the head. "Why didn't you tell me? Why, Harry."

"I'm so scared Louis. I'm so selfish." Harry replied shakily. He's so afraid and Louis' voice started to raise in a hard way.

"I didn't know you were feeling all this. I didn't know you were hurting so bad. You know I'm always here to help you. You know I will do everything to make that pain away. You know that Harry. You know that." Louis dryly said, his body and mind is numb that he is clouded with sadness and hatred for what's happening." But I'm so sorry that you felt that way Harry, I didn't know. Myabe that's why you started to ignore most of my text and calls, the way you reply is so short."

Harry just listened to his rant. He's starting to feel numb. His eyes were so tired from crying and it's so heavy that he just wanted to die. Louis' word hit him like a rock but he didn't mind. It was all true and he deserved all of it.

"-you really didn't trust me, do you?" Louis lowly said, his eyes started to form tears again. "After all we've been through."

"Louis, it's not like that. I--" Harry was cut shortly when Louis slammed the window of his car. Harry flinched and took a deep breath.

"I can't believe this is happening Harry." Louis said, his heart aches with so much pain. "I thought you were happy with me, with us being together."

"Louis, I'm very very happy. But you don't understand. That's not what I meant Louis. Please listen to me." Harry begged, holding Louis' hand to calm him down buy it didn't work. He slapped his hands away and open his car door.

"I'm sorry Louis, please listen. Please." Louis got in his car, started the engine. He still haven't close the door, in hope Harry will say one more thing before he go or himself trying to say something more.

"I'm sorry Harry, I didn't know you were feeling that way. I'm sorry I'm not attentive enough. I'm sorry that it was my fault. I'm really sorry Harry. I hope you know how much I love you." Louis said, stepping on the gas but still in neutral mode. "I wish you all the best in life Harry, I really do. And I love you. Goodbye."

He slammed the door to his face and drove off going somewhere he don't know.

"I hope I die here today." Harry whispered to himself before lying on the cold ground.