Path To Resolution (Fighter's Den, #5)

Chapter 19 - Wolfe

"Should I put on something else?"

Melanie's question snaps me out of it and I blink fast, once again aware of my surroundings. I look at the TV in confusion and realize I have no idea what's happening in the movie. I had to have zoned out for close to ten minutes now.

"Shit. Sorry," I curse gruffly and sit up straighter. I offer her an apologetic look as her mouth turns down in worry. "I've been distracted lately."

"I noticed," Her brows go up. "Want to talk about it?"

Do I? Yes and no. Yes because it would feel nice to not feel so alone for once, to share my worries with someone, and no because this isn't the kind of thing Melanie should have knowledge of or I risk making her involved. Hell, I shouldn't be involved in this shit myself but I have to be. I know that. I get that. But would she? I honestly don't know and I'm not exactly jumping at the idea of finding that out.

"I'm good," I finally say and when her frown deepens I know she isn't happy. I tug on a lock of her hair, not wanting her to be upset with me. We've been in a really good place lately but I'm lying to her and I can't keep that facade up forever. More than that, I'm sure Melanie knows I'm hiding something. I know that but I'm playing dumb anyways. "Seriously. It's fine."

She looks away from me and I know I've just made her more upset. I wisely choose to say quiet, sensing that she'll say what's on her mind if I give it a minute. Then she does and her voice is quiet, a little hard around the edges. "I thought we were past the lies."

Damn it. I knew it wouldn't be long before she confronted me. She's been tossing me suspicious looks for days. "I've never lied to you, Melanie."

"Not telling the truth is lying," She insists. "I'm not an idiot. There's something you're not telling me and I guess that's fine but don't tell me that your keeping it a secret isn't a lie."

She has a point and it makes me feel like an asshole. I guess I am lying to her. But it's for her own good and I need her to know that.

"It's not..." I release a sigh of frustration as my mind scrambles to find the right words. "I've just been busy with some things. Things I have to figure out for myself. I really do believe I have to do this on my own so I'm not trying to hurt you."

"Do what?" She finally looks at me and it's clear how lost she is. "What could you possibly be doing that's bugging you so much? You've been quiet and distracted all week, Wolfe. Just the other day you came home and it looked like you were crying. I didn't want to say anything but now it's starting to feel like you're hiding so much of yourself. I thought you finally let me in."

I shift a little uncomfortably. Not many people would be so blunt as to call out their feelings and someone else's but that's Melanie. She doesn't bullshit for a second and she's so confrontational it makes me shit bricks. I know I owe her something before her frustration gets the better of her. I'm not being fair. I know that.

"I was crying that day I came home," I admit quietly, feeling my cheeks warm in embarrassment. Melanie blinks fast in obvious surprise and her mouth clamps shut. I look away because it's too hard to talk about this with her watching me. "I went to visit Gramps' grave. It was his birthday and I...I just really miss him."

"Wolfe," Melanie whispers and I feel the sofa shift beside me, feel her hand rubbing circles on my back. One thing I've learned about Melanie is she's pretty affectionate. She likes lending comforting touches and hugs. She says she hates being touched and that's true but only by strangers. If she trusts you and cares for you, she becomes very soft. Not that I'd tell her that. I think she might punch me if I did. "I didn't realize, big guy. I'm sorry I snapped at you."