Luminescence

Thirty-four.

Only ten more chapters! :(

HUDSON

I was whipped.

There was no other way to describe my feelings for Mara other than my thoughts were completely consumed of her.

She was absolutely beautiful, and not even enough words in the dictionary could express that. As she laid in my arms, the alarm clock read just past 11:00pm. Whenever I run my fingers through her hair, she naturally cranes her neck in her sleep, craving my presence. Her blue eyes were shut as she slept, as a wave of sadness washes over me knowing I won't be able to see them till morning.

It was safe to say I was reckless around her. I'm a very demanding person, and if I want something I'd get it. If other people, or any man specifically would come near her, I would get furious. She's mine, and when Ryan whistled at hear earlier I almost beat the living life out of him.

But when she's around me alone, I feel stripped of my confidence and weak. The good kind of weak. My stomach seems to fly out of my body each time she comes into view, making me lose all rational thought. I loved the way she made me feel.

There was that stupid word again. Love.

I was so helplessly in love with her, I don't know where to begin. I desperately want to tell her, but I'm clueless. I've never been in love with a girl before — they've only came and gone in my life. Do I wake her and pour out my emotions to her in this bed? Or do I wait for a better time after the Plague battle ends?

Either way, I wouldn't be able to contain that three-word sentence for much longer.

As Mara slightly shifts in bed, I look down to her face. Her eyes are slightly open as the moonlight faintly illuminates her gorgeous features. Did she love me back? The thought had me worried, desperate even, to know what the answer was inside of her head.

"Hudson, you should be asleep," she whispers, sending shivers down my spine. Fuck, I loved her voice.

I smile softly down to her, pressing my forehead to hers and giving her lips a small peck. "Sorry, just admiring your gorgeous face," I say unashamed, brushing some strands of hair out of her face to see it better.

Her cheeks turned a faint shade of pink as she hides in the crook of my neck embarrassed. "What's keeping you awake?" She asks, and my heart swells. She cared for me, more than any other person has in my life.

"I-I'm not sure," I start off as I cringe from my stutter. See, she was doing this to me. "Just the battle in a couple of days... I've been having nightmares about it. I'm worried that it's predicting the future," I say nervously. "And they aren't good outcomes."

My nightmares were full of death. So much death I would wake up in the middle of the night, and shake until my eyes couldn't stay open anymore.

"Hudson, if I know one thing for sure, it's that the Plague is going down. With you and the others by the Rebels' side, we're unstoppable. And when that battle comes in two days, they won't even know what hit them," she whispers confidently smiling up at me. "Do you still have the nightmares?"

I shake my head. "No. They only happen on nights when I'm not with you," I say in all honesty. "The first night I stayed with you in the Rebel base was the first night I had fully slept in years. Even King Red sent me into minor reform because my face looked so energetic," I say laughing at the memory.

Should I say it? Should I say just how much I was infatuated with her? It plagued my mind as I could've sworn a bead of sweat rolled down my forehead from my anxiousness. What if she didn't love me back? Did she still see me as the evil commander from a month ago?