To Heal A Lonely Heart

Something Is Missing

But soon enough we had to part. The bleating of the goats and the clucking of the chickens, still trapped in their cages, made us return to reality. Reluctantly, Geralt stood up, offering me a hand to help me on my feet. I gladly accepted, and pressed one last kiss to his lips before we collected our weapons and made our way back to the – still not fully unloaded – cart.

Geralt took my sword from me, and let me deal with the animals. I took the cages with the chicken first, setting each into the coop within the pen. We had bought five, four hens and one rooster. Next were the goats. They, too, would stay in the pen. The two of them bleated happily, when I untied and released them into their new home, munching on the tall grass almost immediately. Last was the donkey. It'd stay with the horses, the paddock and stables were big enough. I just hope they'll get along; both Roach and Shadow can be very stubborn from time to time – just like their riders...

"Tomorrow, we'll name you, hmm?" I cooed, petting the donkey's nose. It blew happily, then pulled its head back and trotted towards Roach and Shadow, the three of them sniffing at each other. I smiled watching them. Looked like they'd be just fine living together.

I jumped a little as I felt Geralt's hands sneak around my waist, pulling me into his chest. I hadn't heard his footsteps in the soft grass, and I was so used to his presence that I couldn't determine the distance between us anymore when I wasn't paying attention to it; after a decade of being together, he could easily sneak up on me when I wasn't expecting him to. But I quickly relaxed in his arms and leaned back, resting my head against his shoulder as we watched the horses and donkey get to know each other.

"I expected Roach to bite, to be honest," my husband's chuckle rumbled through my body.

I laughed through the nose. "She's the alpha after all." I shrugged.

We stood there for a while, enjoying the warmth of the slowly setting sun and each other. A cold wind blew over the field and I shivered.

"We should go inside. I'll make dinner," I sighed. It was getting late.

A hum in agreement came from Geralt and we walked the short distance to our house, one of his arms still around my waist as I leaned into him.

I walked into the kitchen and huffed a little. The table was packed with the baskets of food we had bought, most of it I had to plant tomorrow. I turned around to face Geralt, who had just stepped up behind me, now standing in the doorway.

"Change of plan," I stated simply, causing confusion to spread on his face. "I'm not cooking today," I quickly explained, my hand gesturing to the loaded table, "I don't have the space, and this stuff has to stay here overnight, I won't plant it today."

"So? You'll do...?"

I smirked and grabbed two plates, then motioned for him to follow me upstairs. For what did we put that table in our bedroom, if not for this? I conjured bread, cheese, sausages and some fruit, and turned to my husband, smiling.

"This. This is what I'll do."

With a hum from Geralt, we sat down and ate in comfortable silence. My mind was occupied by one thought: even though this was perfect and so much more than I had ever expected my life to be, I felt like something was missing. Something we'd create, something giving us a reason to smile even on the darkest day (besides of each other). This thought wouldn't leave; not when we finished dinner, not when I used my magic to clean the plates, not even when Geralt lead me to the washroom, muttering something about us needing a bath.

The thought just wouldn't leave, and not even my husband undressing – a sight that usually sent my mind into the gutter and made my eyes and heart fill with adoration – could shoo it away. I followed his lead and sat in the tub filled with steaming water, sighing as it relaxed my sore muscles. Geralt pulled me close into his chest, holding me by the waist. He must have noticed my absent state, but left me to ponder.

We washed ourselves rather quickly and then lay soaking in the hot water until it ran cold and our skin grew wrinkled. Just then, Geralt managed to rip me from my thoughts.

"Come on, Nienna. We should go to bed. You're almost falling asleep on me, my love," he chuckled the last sentence.

I hummed and got off him, so he could get out of the tub. We dried ourselves up and got dressed for the night.

Once we were lying in bed, I collected all my courage to tell Geralt my revelation, but he beat me to speaking up first, catching me a little off guard.

"You are awfully quiet this evening, my love. Is everything alright?" he asked, rolling onto his side to look directly at me, the moon illuminating the room.

I sighed. Then nodded.

"Yeah, everything's fine," I mumbled. "It's just... everything is perfect and all, but..." I sighed again. I had no idea how he'd react when I told him exactly what I had thought about for hours. "I've been thinking," I finally brought out.

"I've noticed," Geralt chucked, but upon noticing my distressed state, he became more serious. "What is it, my love? Tell me." His hand came up to cup my cheek, and I nuzzled into his touch, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath.

"I-I just feel- I just feel like something is missing. That there could be something more," confessed weakly. I opened my eyes, tears blurring my vision as I gazed at my concerned husband. He was waiting for me to continue, reassuringly stroking his thumb along my cheekbone. "I wish we had a child," I breathed out.