Chapter Thirty One

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*September 11th*
*Arabelles POV*
*4 days left*

My soft footsteps were the only thing to be heard in the quiet house as I ran through the hallway. Tears streamed down my face as my heart thumped against my chest, accompanied by the aching in my heart. I finally reached my room and I flung the door open, rushing inside and sliding against the wall. The wood was cool against my burning skin as I wrapped my arms around my legs. I could feel the panic and sadness rise up my throat as I sobbed quietly. I threw my head back as my breathing quickened, not being able to calm myself down.

The thing is I know that everything Louis said was right. I know Harry doesn't really care for me, no matter how many times I convinced myself he did. I convinced myself that he cared because I wanted to believe someone did. The way my skin seemed to light on fire whenever he touched me, or when his emerald eyes met mine and a shock traveled down my spine. All the little things that made me think that maybe, just maybe, someone actually cares. But I know now that I'm just silly, naive girl. But I can't bring myself to be mad at anyone but my self. I'm mad at myself for even thinking that any of it was real. For creating these delusion in my head, because I can't deny that I don't have any feelings towards the boy with unruly black hair and bright emerald eyes that makes my heart ache.

But I know there not reciprocated.

I know he doesn't feel the same but it didn't matter to me. Because I felt that way. I was too worried about my infatuation with him that I didn't realize what it was that shone in his eyes whenever we were alone. It wasn't fondness, adoration, or even the least bit of affection. No. It was something I should've seen coming.

Lust.

That's all it is, that's probably all it will ever be. I was stupid to think otherwise, but I know better now. The feeling of being in the dark is better then what I feel now though. I would rather be oblivious than feel this ache in my chest, an ache that shouldn't be there. I shouldn't feel this way about him in the first place. Not only is he a horrible man, but we never really had something in the first place. What am I so caught up on then? The drunken kiss we shared? Or maybe it was the way his chest pressed against mine, the beating of his heart mixing with mine. Regardless of what it was, I know I need to let it go.

I chocked on a sob as I put my face in my hands. I felt like I couldn't breathe as sobs racked my whole body, causing me to shake with each one. I shook my head as I cursed under my breath, frustrated because I was crying over this.

I heard footsteps echo in the hallway as I held my breath. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping that it wasn't Louis out in the hallway. The tears refused to stop pouring, even as I heard the doorknob rattle. Even when the door swung open and someone stepped into the room. I heard the door close but I refused to look up, not wanting to face whoever it was. I would have to explain myself to whoever it was, and I wasn't ready for that.

The person didn't speak but I felt them in front of me as they sat down on the floor. I tried my hardest to hold back the sob that was in the back of my throat but failed miserably. My body continued to shake as I felt the person lean forward, placing their hand on my knee. The smell of cologne invaded my senses and my heart stopped as I breathed in that scent.

I know that smell.

Regardless of the red flags going off in my brain I slowly raised my head. My breath caught in my throat as I looked at those beautiful emerald eyes. His face was contorted into one of concern as he stared at my tear stained face. I know I look horrible but at this point I don't care as I stare into his eyes. I was still crying when he tilted his head to the side, silently asking me what was wrong. And I hate the fact that my heart melted the tiniest bit.

His hand inched up my thigh and I watched intently as he grabbed my hand, lacing our fingers together. I clenched my eyes shut as a tingle shot up my arm, my heart warming up, the heat spreading through my whole body.

"Harry." I whispered, looking back into his eyes. "Please. Don't"

He looked confused as he leaned a little closer.
"Why not?"

"Because.." I looked down, not trusting that I'd be able to continue if I stared into his eyes any longer. "I know you don't feel the same way I do. And even if you did.. this is wrong."

"And how do you feel Ara?" I couldn't see him but I know he had a slight frown on his face, his eyebrows furrowed over his eyes.

My eyes watered as I looked up at him. "I don't know.." I whispered defeatedly. "All I know is can't breathe properly when your around. I-I just can't seem to function around you. But it doesn't matter how I feel. Because you only feel one thing towards me and it's not that."

He looked confused once again. "And what do I feel towards you Arabelle?"

I scoffed. "It's obvious you only feel lust towards me."

I know I said something wrong when his jaw clenched, his hand moving from mine. "It's obvious? You don't know how I feel Arabelle. You made an assumption and ran with it. Who says I don't feel the same as you do?" My heart raced and swooned at his words.

I felt a sad pang shoot through my heart as he got up, walking towards the door. I sighed as I hung my head down, my breath hitching in my throat at his next words.

"Because I say other wise."
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