My birthday?

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I hope you guys like the story so far. This chapter is triggering. Please read at your own risk.  Word count: 3160

Just as I start to climb inside the window, someone knocks on the door. I put on my mask and opened the door. It was the guy that got me for dinner last night. What's his name again? Dion? No no, it's Xion.

"Zero I know you're up. I saw you on the ledge. If you don't open the door, I'll get Mr. Lucan." Mm okay. I wish he would. I got into bed and put in my headphones. When the song 'she belongs to the streets' came on someone opened my door.

"Get up Zero." Oh great. It's Lucan. I wish he would leave me alone. I don't wanna tell him why I'm sad. "I will drag you downstairs let's go."

    "Fuck off!" He needs to leave. Right now. If he doesn't I'm going to make him.

     "No, let's go." He was coming closer. I flinched. God I feel stupid. He's gonna ask questions now..

You ugly fag. Can't even do anything right! Ugh, why couldn't you have died instead of my sister. Just kill yourself. Nobody would care.

"ro.. Zero!!" I cringed back. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. Ugh I was gonna be sick. Why can't he leave??

I reached out and grabbed the door frame. He was not gonna bring me out there.

You're nothing. Kill yourself. All the boys already hate you. Lily hates you. If it weren't for you, your parents and unborn sibling would be alive. You should've died in the fire. Your parents are so disappointed in you. If you had just payed attention to them instead of yourself they would be alive.

Shut up shut up shut up! It's not true. I squeezed my eyes shut. My arm itched so bad. I didn't want to do it.

"Stop it! Leave me alone! For the rest of the fucking day!!" I screamed. He dropped me. Fuck that hurt. It was a nice distraction tho.

"I'll just ignore that you cursed. Why don't you want to go Zero?" Ugh. I climbed back to my bed and pulled the covers over my head. Like hell I would tell him.

"please..just leave me alone. I don't- I can't.." I whispered. I'm so tired. I don't want to hear the voices anymore. The itch was back but worse. I heard a soft "okay" and my door shut. I climbed out of bed and went to the bathroom.

     I locked the bathroom door and walked over to the sink. I took off my hoodie, mask and eye patch. I might not care about me but I care about my things.

    Opening the mirror, I took out my blade. It was brand new and super sharp. I placed my arm above the sink and took a deep breath.

You are the reason your parents are dead. They could've still been alive and had another son or daughter. They could've been happy. Your uncle would still be alive if you had died instead of your parents. You're the reason your aunt always gets high and has sex. You should be grateful but no. You're a selfish bitch that only thinks about himself.

One cut turned to twenty. I switched arms and went deeper and deeper. It stung. Badly. There was blood pouring out of my arms. So pretty..My old cuts opened up with cut. There was so much red.  God what is wrong with me?

       It took awhile for the cuts to stop bleeding but when they did, I bandaged them up. Overall, I had about 25 cuts on each arm. Oh well. Anyways, I cleaned up the blood and any mess I made.

     I was starting to get sleepy so I decided to walk downstairs to get some coffee. I threw on some loose jeans and a huge hoodie. As always, the mask and eye patch went on too.

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