ʜɪꜱ ꜱᴀᴠɪᴏʀ ━ Bucky Barnes/Avengers

15: i will find you

Days after we took HYDRA down and after Pierce was gone, things almost went back to normal. Except that Nick Fury was suddenly back from the dead and acknowledges his own grave but yeah, things were... normal. SHIELD was gone too, but I'm sure it'll come back somehow.

As for me, I went back to the Avengers tower. My wounds healed quickly since I was able to close it all up with my powers, but the scars were forever there. Not that I hated it if anything it was proof to me that what happened really did happen.

"Ice Queen's first mission, a success! How do you feel?" Tony asks me enthusiastically. All of us, were at the tower, taking a break in the living room together.

I chuckle nervously, not wanting to be in the spotlight, "Didn't think I'd ever had one or even survive one. I can't believe you guys do this for a living."

Steve answers that, with his usual arm crossing and standing next to the couch pose, "It's our job to keep people safe. Willing to risk our lives becomes a part of it too."

"Yeah, but it's fun!" Tony grins.

Bruce, who was sitting next to Nat on the loveseat shakes his head, "No. Not fun at all."

"Hold on, didn't you say you went into the ice with Rogers? Wasn't that a mission?" He asks.

I release a heavy sigh, reminded of the day I thought would be my last. I realized I never really told the whole story, as it was something I didn't choose to remember or consider worth telling, but they're my friends. "Uhm, well I was pretty stubborn back then, maybe still am. But after Steve and I lost... a friend, I insisted on helping him. Really, only Agent Peggy Carter knew of my presence there because I didn't want to be seen, as it would be trouble for all of us. It was unfortunate for both of us, but back then I had nothing else to live for."

"Well, didn't you have a family?" Bruce asks, genuinely curious.

"I did, but after my dad died when I was ten, we've been broken for years. We tried to be close, but in the end, we were all hurting, wanting to get away from the world. I was alone most of the time." I hold in my tears. I start to remember my mother and sister, loved ones I left behind who I never saw again.

I couldn't even mourn for them, I couldn't mourn for everyone I lost. I never even told the truth about what HYDRA did to me. All they knew was that my father killed himself and I was never the same again after that. I mean, how could I? I was too scared to say anything in fear that they might find me again. It wasn't until I moved back and Steve was the first one I told. The only person, really.

"Still, I'm sure it wasn't easy for you. I heard about what happened. With your old friend and all." He continues, "I'm sorry." It was unusual to see Tony in a sympathetic way, but it showed that he cares. 

I give him a soft smile, enough to cover his I really felt, "Thanks, Tony." I glance at Steve, who was looking down on the ground. When he found me out of the water, we haven't talked about it yet. I knew he was probably in more pain than I was in, considering Bucky was practically his brother.

After a few seconds of silence, Tony clasps his hands together and raises his drink, "Well, we should celebrate! Ice Queen basically passed the test, I see no reason to not officially make her an Avenger! Cheers!" When no one celebrates with him, he puts his arm back down, "No one?"

I sigh, "No, not yet. I'm sorry Tony, but there's something I have to do something first before I consider joining the team."

"Wait wait wait, did you just reject my offer? Who rejects my offer? No one ever rejects my offer. I'm hurt." He places his hand on his chest, flabbergasted.