Niki's Karan

chp 15 "it's a goodbye" part 2

“why?” I heard her voice after a little while. It was filled with pain. Her eyes shined with the unshed tears. She looked like trying to control her emotions buy fully failing to stop. I was not any better. I was in pain too.

I placed my hand on her cheek giving her a sad smile.

I looked at her trying to despair what she wanted to say, to say anything and everything she was thinking. To let me know what she felt. Though, her eyes showed what she felt but I wanted to hear her say those words.

And finally her eyes made it worse by making those salty tears flow down her cheeks. Her tears, teared down my heart. I know how hard it's for her to believe it.

Then like she finally understood the situation, she blinked her eyes rapidly and touched my hand that was holding her cheeks.

“I'm dreaming right?” Her eyes showed so much hope in them. Her hands squeezed mine. That little ray of hope that I want to believe too. To let this statement to be true. Asking God in heart to make this a dream. Asking him to not put me in this situation.

“pinch me now! I am sure it’s a dream. Same dream I had before.” she demanded and continued “yes. It’s a dream. But, it ended when I cried hard when you left.”

I remembered the day, she came to my room at late midnight. She told me she had a dream and wanted to see me. Now, I understand what she is talking about.

Her hand reached to her eyes and touched the salty water that were still making its way out “see I cried. Now it must be over. But its not, so pinch me Karan. I want this dream to break. NOW, Karan pl—”

That was enough, I pulled her close to me hugging her tight. She was still sobbing clutching my shirt. That was the time I knew, that I couldn't leave her. Cause leaving her will mean, leaving my life, my soul , my heart here with her. I may breath but that would be the breath without oxygen. I would have my heart but it would be without its beat.

I didn't knew when I fell this hard for her that my life without her will be impossible to imagine. How could I leave her.

Her violent sobs were slowly becoming soft. Her hands around me tighten and I couldn't help but reciprocate. "I won't disappear, Niki."

“Promise me something, will you?" She asked with her head still buried in my chest.

"What?"

"You won't change. Promise me that you won't forget me."

"I will, if you promise me one thing." I responded.

"What?" She asked looking up searching.

"That you will wait for me." I replied with all my love in my voice "That, you will never cry."

She didn't replied but hugged me close.

I know I love her, may be I loved her even before I understood. I started loveing her when first time her innocent eyes met mine. We were kids but I knew I loved her that time till now.

I Don't want any answers right now. I just want to treasure the memory that I know will remain with me forever.

May be I will not get them again.

Love or not. She is my only best friend I have. And I Don't want to lose her.

After a few minutes we pulled apart we saw each other eyes which were still wet, I don't know when my eyes betrayed me. I cupped her cheeks again and pulled her closer to  me, and I waited if she want to push me but she didn't and my lips attached with her.

That was the first time I kissed her. Her lips felt so soft and warm against mine.  I just  stopped there. Not moving. Her lips were too froze there. Her eyes widened. I pulled away immediately.

“I will be going tomorrow. Please don’t come to airport to seaoff.” I finally spoke after so much scilence. Her eyes still watching me.

“why?” she asked still dazed. May be thinking why I don't want her to come.

“Because if you came, I will not be able to go. I can't see you crying” I pinched her cheeks and said “I will try to come back soon.”

I couldn't stay more and  started my journey to the front door when I suddenly heard her calling my name. I stopped and turned around just to see her to ask about it.

But she ran to the where I was and hugged me again and said “I will miss you. Come back soon, please. I will wait for you…. always.” she promised.

"I will come back soon, and I would never forget you. Never." I promised.

I patted her hair with one hand while my other hand was patting her back. We pulled apart I  cleaned the tear with my thumb and pinched her nose just to shake it a little, which I always did to annoy her when we were young.

A small smile came on her lips may be by  remembering the memory. And she looked at me, her brown eyes staring my brown orbs which were already viewing her and this time it was her that kissed me. And I pulled her close kissing her not getting enough. May be its last time I could touch her.

I saw her eyes widen, but soon they closed and her hands found my hair tugging me close.

We parted , our heart beat rate was abnormal and I could feel the heartbeat fast. I looked at her again and saw her eyes still wet with her tears and I once again cleared her tears.

I just patted her head  and with last kiss on her forehead said “always keep smiling.” And I left. With tears streaming down my face.

You really asked me the hardest thing in this world Dad. This good bye, was even more hard. When Mom died my heart broked but Niki and Nik were there to heal my wound, and now it's only me  apart from them, I really don't know how I will be able to joint the this heart that's now have not wounded but parted in pieces. You really asked me the hardest thing in my life, Dad. And I really don't know how will I cope with it!

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