Cartel│Mark Lee

He did love me

*Three months later*

I wiped off the sweat dripping from below my brow. These days to earn money was all hard work. I got a job at a tiny diner on the outskirts of the country. The only people who came to this shop were truck drivers and families on road trips. It was about three hours away from the city I used to think of as home. I knew I was safe here as I believe no one could find me. I rushed around the room bringing bills and food to peoples tables. I was not use to this kind of labour but pushed through it knowing I needed the money. "Vanessa you're off now." My manager, Donny, yelled across the room to me. I nodded and began to remove my apron. I walked to my locker in the very back of the diner. Donny appeared beside me and cleared his throat. "Are you trying to leave without giving me your tips first?" Donny looked at me suspiciously and I sighed. He leaned on my locker and I almost gagged at his wretched stench. My manager was very keen on addressing that the tips waitresses made were to go into the cash register, not our pockets. I handed him the money from my pocket and smiled fakely. "Vanessa." He said suspiciously while holding out one of his hands. I groaned silently and reached into my bra to pull out the extra cash I stuffed in there. I handed the money to him wearily and he left. I needed that money for groceries this week. 

I wasn't used to being broke. I got a taste of a life with money once and I desperately craved it back. I also wasn't used to an authority figure who didn't care for me. Donny was mean and gruesome. He treated the waitresses like garbage. I was used to every man being underneath my fingertips. My scratchy polyester work uniform and my lack of accessories made me feel worthless, so that is how I got treated. My lack of wealth made me feel below everyone else around me. I found myself missing the days where I made million dollar business deals by putting men underneath my spell. I missed the thrill of everything. I even missed the deadly sins that made me terrified. That was my way of life, not this. I realized that the grass isn't greener on the other side.

The day Mark let me go I ran. I ran as fast as I could to get away from that place. I reached my breaking point and left happily, not once ever turning back. When I now think back to that day I think of myself as stupid and Mark as a genius. He told me once that he would prove to me that he loved me and by the time I would realize, it would be too late. At the time I didn't believe him but now I understood what he meant. Mark did love me. He loved me deeply, that is why he let me go without leaving a single trace. He let me leave the life I couldn't stand anymore because he saw I was in pain. He went against his morals and helped me. He wanted me to live a normal life and become a happy person. He put his selfish reasons to keep me behind him and freed me. I began to realize that Mark was always right. He did prove he loved me and by the time I believed him, it was too late. 

I desperately wanted to go back. I had a taste of freedom and truthfully it wasn't satisfying at all. I missed the dresses and shoes. I missed not worrying about my next meal or if I could pay rent in time. But most of all I missed Mark beyond my control. I found it extremely hard not to run right back into his arms. It was depressing to think back to our last night together. He in fact knew it was our last night but could not tell me in hopes of not ruining his plan. It was heartbreaking to think of the pain I put Mark in by pushing him away and saying I wanted to be free from him. It was all too late to apologize now and that truly saddened me. I was believed to be dead in the industry and I was never to return as long as Haechan was still in there. I frowned at the thought of never returning to Mark and that lifestyle. Being free from sins and danger was not thrilling. My life was now boring and even more lonely. I had no importance here and I craved the power I used to hold. 

Mark was a mastermind in this situation. Not only was Mark able to let me go, he was able to please his dead father by bringing Haechan into the business. He was able to get the upperhand in business yet again by getting rid of me. I wondered how miserable he felt working with such a cruel man. I wondered if he missed me as much as I missed him. I also thought about the story they made up to tell the people in the industry. How exactly did I die in their words? They surely would not of told the truth.

I entered my tiny apartment and threw my keys to the side. I flopped onto my bed in the far corner of the room and sighed. My feet hurt from all of the standing and walking at the diner. I was exhausted, mentally and physically. I rubbed my feet for a few minutes before resting my head back down on the pillow. My stomach rumbled and I cursed out loud. I didn't have any food at my apartment right now, I couldn't afford it. The only thing left in my small kitchen was a can of soup. I suddenly heard a knock on the door and I was startled. I didn't have any friends here. No one knew where I lived and I wondered who could be at my door. I cracked the door open to look out of it. No one was there though. I opened it wide and looked out into the hallway. No one was insight. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion before looking down. On the floor rested an envelope. I quickly grabbed it and went inside, locking the door behind me safely. 

I opened the envelope and gasped at what I saw. About a thousand dollars rested in my hands and I dropped it on the table in shock. What was this money doing in my hands? Who put this at my door? I looked back in the envelope and pulled out a tiny piece of paper that was hiding at the bottom of it. It was a note. 

Do you believe me now nessa? I love you, I always have. - M

My hand went to my mouth as silent tears ran down my face. It was Mark. He reached out to me. I let go of the note and cried over the tiny piece of paper. Mark knew where I was and that was enough for me to feel weak inside. My body felt numb in shock as I read the note again. I had so many questions for the man that everyone lusted over. How did he find me? Why did he give me this money after I left? Out of all my questions there was one thing I now knew for sure; Mark did love me and I was too late to realize it. I was now stuck in this life of working for nothing in return and being miserable knowing that happiness was only at my reach once, and I let go of it.