Cartel│Mark Lee

Is It Time To Let Go?

It never occurred to me that I was able to let someone manipulate me so easily. I acted tough but sought out to be nothing but hesitant. Taeil lead me to believe I had nowhere to turn to. He made me think I was cast aside, almost like I was nothing. Mark still heaved in despair as he looked into the unknown. I bit my lip as I stumbled to pick up the pieces of paper in his office. They were torn and crumpled and I tried my best to read the smudged words on them. He never answered my last question of his efforts of trying to find me, but looking at the proof from these papers only answered it for him. He didn't stop trying to find me. "Mark I'm-" 

"Stop." He cut off my words in an instant as he finally collected himself. Mark charged towards me and ripped the papers out of my hands. "Don't ever try and apologize for this mess." He muttered and threw the papers into a garbage can. He sat in a chair across the room from me as I froze at his actions. Silence was not unusual for us, it used to be almost comforting, but not now. Not when there was so much to say. His fingers tapped the leather of the chair almost impatiently as he was deep in thought. 

"Is he dead?" 

My words broke Mark's trance as he clenched his jaw. "Answer me. Is Taeil dead?" My voice shook with fear as I thought of my captor still being on the loose. "Yes," Mark mumbled and looked at me. "You need to get cleaned up." He couldn't bear to look at my beaten body. He tried to control the rage on his face as his eyes trailed along my bruised legs and torn-up clothes. I looked into a small mirror on the right side of the room and almost scoffed. "I can't even recognize myself anymore." My hand reached up to touch my black eye and I winched in pain. 

Mark surfaced from his chair and slowly paced toward me. He removed my hand from my face and held it tightly. My breath hitched in my throat at the close proximity between us. His lips parted as he stared deeply at me. Overwhelmed with emotion I crumbled into his arms. With force, he held me close and kissed the top of my head countless times. A single tear ran down my face and landed on his shoulder. "I never knew it would come to this," I said as my voice was low. With no response, Mark held me even closer. His hands gripped at my sides as if I was going to stray away.  "I didn't think it would be this hard to love someone. I always thought my love for you would make up for any trouble that came in our way." I choked on my words as my head made my way to rest on his shoulder. 

"You are all I ever wanted Mark." I let out a whimper as his tight arms around me made the whole world disappear. "You were all I ever wanted and Taeil made me believe that I meant nothing to you." As if my world crumbled down on me, my head raced with the events that passed while I was taken. I removed my head from his strong shoulder to meet his eyes. Those beautiful brown eyes that held nothing but the empty pit of sorrow Mark was. As a whole, Mark was unbelievably cruel, almost like he had something against the entire world. If you looked at him hard enough you could see the humanity in him at a glimpse. I don't know the whole truth about the beloved man in front of me. I didn't know his whole past or what he has done to people like Taeil, but I knew I loved him and I knew how he felt about me.

In the dim light of the room, I could see a tear fall down his cheek. It glistened like it was finally let free, like Mark finally let go. "Nothing prepared me for when you were gone. I wasn't in control, I didn't know what to do." He said and looked away from me. "It was all my fault." He paused. "You are everything in this world to me. I am sorry Nessa, I am so sorry that you have had to go through all of this." His eyes traced my face as the pain in his eyes returned. His fingers were gentle as he traced my bottom lip lightly. His soft lips met mine in a trance and I melted into him. Mark almost sighed at the feeling of being with me and I never experienced this type of agony before. The feeling as if you are slowly dying in comfort. The feeling of wanting to scream in pain as your mind releases into a bottomless hole. We ran in circles trying to pick up the broken pieces of our souls. Mark was the ingredient to the suffering in my life. But most of all, he was the remedy. 

"We won't be able to do this forever." I broke away from his lips slowly. "You aren't meant to be with someone Mark. You never will be." I watched as the life within him drowned at my words. "But you already know that. So why? Why did you start something with me that you knew you could never finish or solve?" I tried to look away from his tormenting eyes but his hand pulled my face back to him. "Because you aren't just someone Vanessa. You are meant to be with me and I am meant to be with you. I love you." He let out a deep breath and bit his lip. "Sometimes, that just isn't enough to fix everything."  Although I knew leaving wasn't an option again I still felt bitter and empty. His eyebrows furrowed at my words. "Vanessa, what are you trying to say?"

"Is it time to let go?"