recovery ✧ h. grier

17

hayes grier

Am I upset that Jasmine is leaving? Yeah, of course I am. She has been my best friend for more than half my life. We're talking about the girl who use to come over my house almost everyday. The girl who use to hide under my blankets when we were watching a scary movie. She was there for me, and I was there for her.

Christmas is about two weeks away and I still don't know what to get her. I mean I like her a lot. Like I really like, like her. I would say I love her but I'm 14 years old that's absurd. I think love is over used and it should be used like nothing.

When you love something you can never lose the feeling it gives you. I love her eyes, anytime I look into them they make me hypnotized.

Her light green eyes, they just make my stomach twist in knots. That's it! I should give her a necklace that matches her eyes. I know it's cheesy, but I think that I just might hit it out of the ball park. I just can't think. I can't think straight.

It's like I'm here physically, but my head is in the clouds. I walk Jasmine back to the car after she's dressed and ready to go. I open the passenger's door for her, and she slides in. I then hop in the back seat and Jasmine's mom drives off.

jasmine coleman

I want Hayes to be with me forever. I want him to call me his. I want to be able to call him mine. I'm very tired. I haven't been getting any sleep lately.

I feel sad. I feel worthless, but nobody knows. I don't even think Hayes knows. I walk through the halls with a smile on my face to make other's believe I'm happy.

On the inside I'm crying. i don't like school. It's too much preasure. I only go because I get to see my friends. I'm in all advanced classes which means I'm on top of my game. If I fall behind by just a little it will all come toppling down on me.

I try to be the best I could be, but sometimes my best, isn't good enough. Almost is never enough. You're either on top or you're slacking behind.

I'm like the fries that fall to the bottom of your bag. If you find them, you're really happy and become realieved. Then there's the side where you completely forget to check if there's fries left, so you just through the bag away without thinking twice.

When I get home I give Hayes a hug and walk staright to my room. I'm such a sad person. It's only 3 in the afternoo, but I just want to sleep. Sleep. Sleep is good, sleep is great, so that's exactly what I do. I sleep, with no hesitation.

I wake up and it's 1 in the morning. I stumble out of bed to use the bathroom, that's less than 15 feet away. I almost collapse on the floor because of how tired I am. Once I use the bathroom I splash water in my face and just stare at myself. I look like I'm on drugs, you could tell that I haven't been getting any sleep.

I make my way downstairs and go to the kitchen to get something to drink. Since I'm me I don't get a glass of water, instead i grab a can of soda. I sit on my couch and turn on the tv. That's So Raven is on and I can't just not watch it. It's now 2 a.m. and I still can't sleep. I also have school tomorrow.

I pick up my phone and call Hayes. The odds of him answering are slim, but it's worth a shot. It rings once, then twice, three times, and right when I give up he answers.

"Jas, what's wrong?" He says concerned.

"Hayes, I can't sleep. Can I come over for a while?"

"Of course. I'll go downstairs now to open the door."

Just like that, I get up from the couch and put my slippers on. I'm only in my flannel sweat pants and a t-shirt. I carefully open the door and I already feel the cold autumn air hit my face. I quickly grab a jacket and make my way across the lawn.

There he is standing on the porch in nothing but basketball shorts. As soon as I make my way up the steps he engulfs me with a hug. He then pulls me into the house and we go upstairs to his room.

"I take off my slippers and climb into his bed. I try not to think about how helpless I seem. Hayes then climbs into his bed also and gets comfortable. We are both just laying there staring at the ceiling. It's almost as if time stops and you could hear our hearts beating.

"Jasmine , why are you so sad? I don't like seeing my sunshine upset. You mean the world to me." He says while playing with my hands.

"I don't know why I feel the way I do, Hayes. I just feel like life goes on and waits for no one, and what if I fall behind and can't catch up? Where would that leave me?" I look into his eyes.

"I know this is way out of context but we keep having deep emotional conversations." He says while laughing.

"Yeah, let's just end it here. I like you lots Hayes." I say and turn on my side. He wraps his arms around me in a spooning position. I then set an alarm for 5 am which is in nearly 3 hours.

"I like you more Jas, and you're my entire world." He says while kissing my temple. Hayes is already sleeping as I feel his light snores coming out his mouth. I then fall asleep more relaxed then I have ever been.

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A/N: hey I updated! Sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes I didn't even edit , so sorryy!

Hayes and Jasmine are my goals, they make me get the feels😸👋

I'm going to try and keep updating on a regularly basis so ....

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