recovery ✧ h. grier

24

March

My grades are getting lower and lower. I feel like I'm slowly rotting away. It's like, I'm just out of it. I honestly just want to get this over with and move to California already.

My mom decided to get me a tutor. I don't want a fucking tutor. I just want to get the hell out of North Carolina. I'm having mood swings, headaches, and crying. Not only am I crying, but I've been crying for hours.

My mom keeps saying that I should see someone, like a therapist. To be honest, I don't mind this idea. I think that seeing a therapist will make me feel less guilty about leaving.

Every Tuesday & Wednesday I'm with a tutor, and Every Thursday I go see my therapist.

Today was Tuesday, which meant my tutor would be arriving at the house any moment. I was laying down on the couch with my head resting on one of the throw pillows.

"Hey, come on in, would you like anything to drink or snacks?" I heard my mom say while someone walked in.

"Um, no Miss Coleman I'm fine." That voice, the voice that use to sooth me when Hayes would pick on me, the voice that claimed he was happy with "Tatiana", it was the voice I never wanted to hear again.

"Ready to get to work?" Jacob says while walking in front of me so he's blocking the TV.

"What else do I have to live for?" I groaned while getting up.

"Awe come on Jas, this isn't that bad." He tried putting his arm around my waist like he use to.

"I don't like looking at you, and now I have to see you 2 times a week. I'm not the happiest camper right now." I pushed his arms away.

"Ouch. You've hurt my pretty little feelings. Jassie." He faked a sad expression.

"Don't call me that. Don't even try to carry on a conversation with me unless it's about school work. And Jacob I swear if you try anything funny, I won't hesitate to kick you in the groin." I glared at him.

"Well aren't you just a ray of sunshine."

"Oh and another thing, I don't need your sarcasm." I give a fake smile.

Like I told him Jacob stuck to the rules. He didn't talk to me unless it was about something we were working on. He stayed over for 2 hours, and as much as I hate to admit it, Jacob is a really good tutor, no wonder why he got an award for having straight A's.

The next day it was the same thing, nothing but studying. That Friday I had a quiz in math and science, but I wouldn't get the grade till Monday.

I also got to see my therapist. Her name was Julie, and she helped me with a lot of my problems. She gave me pills for my anxiety, that way I wouldn't stress myself out. We talked about how to handle the move to California. We talked about how my dad died when I was younger.

"Is there anything you're afraid of?" She questioned.

"Not being accepted." I mumbled.

"Do you know why this has become one of your fears?" She pushed on.

"Um, I just get a little insecure. That's all." I fiddled with my thumbs.

"Jasmine, if there's something that ties in with this, you could always tell me." She sincerely said.

"Well, back in 6th grade, I used to get bullied. I thought that since other kids picked on me, maybe I wasn't good enough. I felt like I was an outcast. I didn't tell anyone. I look back now and I truly wish I told someone." I spilled out.

"Well, that's all the time we have for today. I'll see you next week Jasmine."

"Okay, I'll be going now." I gathered my stuff and started to walk to the door.

"Oh wait!" Julie called out just as I was about to walk out.

"Yes?" I turned around to face her.

"Work hard for what you want because it won't come to you without a fight. You have to be strong and courageous and know that you can do anything you put your mind to. If somebody puts you down or criticizes you, just keep on believing in yourself and turn it into something positive."

"Thank you, that means a lot," and with that I shut the door. I walked down towards the lobby, to meet my mom.

"How did it go?" She asked.

"It went great actually, I feel a lot better now."

"That's great, is there anything you need while we're out?"

"Um, not that I could think of. But I would love some pizza." I then grinned really big.

"Anything for you, sweet heart."

We stopped at one of my favorite pizza places on the way home, and I couldn't be more thankful.

~

Today is Monday and I'll finally get back my grades for the quizzes I took.

I got a 92 on my science and a 94 on my math. I then realized that Jacob wasn't trying to make me fail, he was there to make me excel above everyone else.

It might of looked bad, but when I saw Jacob during lunch, I have him a huge hug and thanked him. He didn't pull away instead, he hugged me back.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, so much!" I squealed.

"For what exactly?" He chuckled.

" I aced my last 2 quizzes thanks to you!" I was jumping up and down in excitement.

"Awe Jas, that's fantastic! I'm so proud of you!" He smiled at me.

"I couldn't of done it without you Jacob. I'm really happy you're helping me."

"As long as I can spend time with you, the pleasure is all mine." He said with a grin.

It was kinda an awkward thing he said, so I walked back over to the table and told everyone how I aced my last 2 quizzes. They cheered for me and Hayes put his arm around me.

~

When I walked home, I was greeted by my mom.

"Hi honey, how was your day? Anything new happen at school? Got back any quizzes lately?" She starts to wiggle her eyebrows.

"Yeah I got 2 A's on my last quizzes..."

"I'm so proud of you! That's fantastic, we should go out to eat tonight. Where do you want to go?"

"Um, Chili's?"

"Okay, let's go." She grabbed her keys, and walked out the door, with me following close behind.