The Game of Hearts

24 // Let's Play a Game

Chapter 24 - Let's Play a Game

"You're way too young to be broken

You're way too young to fall apart

You're way too young to play these games

But you better start

But you better start

(...)

You won't let me see this side of you

It's on the tip of my tongue

You know you're way too young to have someone lie to you"

Fifteen minutes had passed since I told Matthew to shut up and the awkward silence was killing me. I thought he would have asked to switch places with someone but actually he didn't. We were both just playing with our phones but I could still feel the tension between us. I looked over to his phone to see him struggling with a brand in Logo Quiz.

"That's Carolina Herrera, you know." I told him.

"I knew I knew this brand from somewhere, but all I could think about was Calvin Harris!" Matthew exclaimed. "Oops, sorry, you don't want me to talk."

"It's okay. I was just... with a headache." I lied. We were both doing that a lot lately. 

"Are you better now?" Matthew asked and he almost looked concerned.

"Yes, thank you." I bit my lip and looked away. "Have you ever been camping?" I asked in an attempt to change the subject. I didn't want to hear his lies but neither did I want to be immersed in an uncomfortable silence for the rest of the journey, so I needed to find something we could talk about without any kind of problems between us.

"Yes, I have." Mathew's face turned to saddnes and he hesitated. "With... my mother... when..."

Matthew didn't continue and instead kept staring at the screen of his phone. He then rose his head and faced me.

"I live with my father and my stepmother now. My mother... she passed away when I was nine."

My mouth opened and I gasped. Well done in finding a subject that would not provoke problems, Kiara.

"I... I'm so sorry... I didn't..."

"It's fine, Kiara. It's not your fault."

"So camping brings back good memories?" I questioned with a small smile.

"Yes and no. It's a bittersweet feeling, really. It's good because you remember her, but if she was still alive then you didn't have to hold onto memories like that. Because that's all they are now... memories."

This was probably the weirdest conversation to have in a school bus but everyone around us was either listening to music, taking selfies, talking loudly or playing games, so nobody was listening to us.

"I'm really sorry, Matthew. If I knew, I wouldn't..."

"My father has big expectations on me." Matthew abruptly informed me. "He has it all planned: he wants me to be a big football player, he wants me to be popular like he was. I guess that after my mom died he just got sadder, and colder, and now he wants me, he needs me to be perfect. And I never had the guts to tell him 'this is my life, so I do what I want. You can't define my future and you can't define how I'm going to act, who I am going to be.' And I guess that you, Kiara, just bring out that part of me that wants to stand up to him and tell him he can't control me. Because I know that's what you would do. You're free."