The Fall of Izaya Orihara

Chapter 28

Izaya's POV

After what felt like an eternity of silence, Shizuo walked over to me, wrapping his muscular arms around me. I sat there in his arms, not hugging back, but not pushing him away either. He rested his head on mine. I was confused, feeling dampness on my scalp. He was crying, which startled me despite my emotionless state.
"I'm sorry...I wasn't there for you before...I never knew you went through so much..." His voice sounded strangled and weak, his chest rumbling against me as he spoke. I stayed quiet and unmoving, not knowing how to help him, especially in my current situation. Suddenly thoughts came flooding into my brain, a tidal wave of emotion coming after. I soon felt tears pricking at the corners of my eyes, quickly snaking down my cheeks. Realization hit me like a brick, and I wrapped my arms around him tightly, scared that if I let go I would fall apart.
He sniffled, looking down at me in surprise at my sudden change in demeanor. I continued to cry silently, too choked up to speak.

After a short while, I managed to calm down. I was reeling with embarrassment from what I said in my robotic state, completely spilling my guts to the both of them. I didn't know what to say to the protozoan, my mind still racing with thoughts. I asked the first thing that came to my mind, my voice trembling, "Are you disgusted by me? Knowing what you know now?"
Shizu-chan shook his head, wrapping me in his arms once again, "No way, the only ones I'm disgusted with are all those who hurt you before...and I'm disgusted with myself and how I treated you in the past."

"Don't be disgusted with yourself, Shizu-chan." I spoke without thinking, words pouring from my lips, "You didn't know anything about me, other than the mask I put on. Even still though, that terrible person is still me. I still did that, even though I wore a mask. I was still looking at life as all some silly game, and I didn't want to lose anymore. Most humans are easy to read, predictable, and selfish. And I found it interested to toy with them and watch them experience emotion. I used humanity as a punching bag. And I used you as one too. You were different from the other humans, and I still find you incredibly interesting and unpredictable. You have every right to hold a grudge against me for that, or be disgusted with me."
It was true, I regretted how I acted towards him, and the humans. I just didn't understand them at all, and wanted to learn. I wanted to understand humans, my family, even the Awakusu. For years I had played with humans like puppets, using them to reflect the emotions I had hidden away.

A sigh escaped the brutes lips, the air wisping through my hair. "You can change, Izaya. You've learned from your mistakes, and even though you're a fucked up person, it's not your fault you're like that. I love you, every part of you. I want to help you get better and be happy, even if you continue to do bad things. Even if you don't. You could quit your job and get a new one, I know you have plenty of money saved to keep this apartment for life. And if your enemies don't like you quitting, I'll be your guard. I won't let anyone hurt you again. I'm sure you have plenty of other talents and skills outside of being an informant. Hell, if it makes you happy you can continue being an informant, we can continue playing cat and mouse. We can hide our relationship or we can be open about it. We can do whatever you want, I just want you to be happy."
I nodded in response, trying to wipe the everflowing tears off my cheeks. I sniffled, looking up at him. A genuine smile on my face as I gently placed my hand against his cheek, wiping the tears from his face, "Thank you...I love you so much more than you can imagine, Shizuo Heiwajima." I kissed him gently, and after a moments surprise he kissed back. The kiss was long and sensual, full of emotion and love. We pulled apart, chests heaving and faces red. He smiled at me, his rugged voice whispering words that were music to my ears, a tune months ago I would have never thought to hear from him, "I love you too, Izaya Orihara."

I love writing this story too much to end it just yet
Izaya still has a lot of recovering to do, and getting in a relationship with Shizuo won't automatically fix everything.