Tears to a better life

Chapter Thirteen

~~~

The next thing I knew I was on the floor. Dick took the knife out of my hands and then threw it into his room. Dangerous much? Pulling me up, he dragged me into my room and tossed me on the bed. He stood in front of me and crossed his arms. " I'm not mad."

" Yeah," I pulled my shirt sleeve up, " you're disgusted."

I am, too.

" No, I'm not. It's just that I didn't know. I was shocked. Why?"

I looked up in disbelief, " Why?"

I laugh harshly, then lifted my shirt, showing him the scars, " Why? Dick! I have been nothing but played with my entire life! I've been tortured and abused and you wonder why? And then, it stops. Then gets worse! As much as you want to, you can never understand what I've been through. I've seen things, even by the age of Damian, I've seen things that a grown man should never, ever have to see! And then, I have to protect five year olds, from shit that has scarred me more than I like to admit! And you wonder, why I did this?"

Then I ask him tiredly, " Why don't you answer the question yourself."

" When was the last time?" He asked, in a soft tone.

" A year, maybe?" I ask, remembering the night after Andrew broke up with me. I wasn't aiming to just hurt, though. Unfortunately, Nico felt my soul fading.

" Why were you starting up again?" I felt his voice crack and break from the emotion.

" Because, everything..." I sigh, " Nothing, I don't know."

" You do know. And I want to help you."

" Everything was getting too perfect." I shrug, holding back tears, " And I didn't want it, too. I'm not used to it. Maybe I'm too broken?"

I start breaking down sobbing. Falling to the floor, Dick kneels next to me. " I think I know someone who might help."

" I don't want Bruce to know." I sniffed and looked at him with pleading eyes.

Dick pulled me into a hug, " I know."

~~~

I sighed, sitting down in the green chair. I put my legs over the arm rest and let my long hair cascade down the other arm rest.

" So, Orca." Dinah said, " Nightwing has said you've had some... issues."

Looking at her trough my dark glasses, " You don't have to beat around the bush, I'm fine with talking."

" So, what exactly are your issues?" Dinah asked.

" I don't know. What did he tell you?" I look at to the ceiling, already regretting coming here.

" He said you self harm, is this true?" She asked, putting her elbows on her knees. After me not answering, " Nothing you say, leaves this room."

Dick wants this.

" I used it. I was about to start again when I gave him my knife, then he found out, and now I'm here."

" Why did you self harm?"

Letting out a halfhearted laugh, " I've let people die. I've been in basically three abusive house holds, and one of the first times I've met my dad he said I was mistake, and he was sorry he brought me into this world. But the last I did it, was when my boyfriend broke up with me."