Tears to a better life

Chapter Thirty-Seven

So Percy has a mental break down so this is your warning
~~~

After putting Megan on the couch after she fell asleep, I ignored everyone's stares and walked to the zeta tubes. I didn't say anything and walked out of the cave and headed to my room. Unfortunately, Bruce was down in the bay cave and he looked up. " Percy?"

I put my hand up, then begged, " Please."

Bruce stood up, and looked conflicted, " No, you need to talk to me. You can't shut me out anymore. I'm worried about you. You owe me an explanation."

I furrowed my brows. I shouldn't be standing here, I need to be alone and cool off before I say something regret because the words that are stringing together in my mind aren't true, " No, Bruce. I don't owe you anything. Because I didn't ask for you to adopt me. And I didn't even ask you to save me from that bitch. That was all your doing! Thinking that everything is fine when you step in! Well it's not fine, I don't deserve to be here, I don't deserve anything that you have given me. I've done some horrible shit that is terrible and none of your business. I don't need to open up to you, because you shouldn't even be an option to rant to! Adopting me was your mistakes. So I don't owe you anything."

Bruce stood there silently, tears pricking his eyes. I felt horrible, mentally and physically, and honestly I just wanted to die. But right now I just need to get to my room before I start freaking out in front of everyone. I breathed out all of my air and raced up the stairs to my room. I locked myself in my room where I started throwing a fit. There was images flashing through my mind and I could control it. I pulled my hair, trying to get everything out of my mind. I felt hot, thick tears flow down my face as a scream gets released from my lips.

The women's face, as it's splattered with her own blood. The fear in her face will forever be there, as she dropped to the ground without my sword to prop her up.

My fist collided with the wall, wanting to take away the pain from my head. I couldn't breathe as I kicked my bed stand.

Luke stood in front of me, his gold eyes melting away as he held the dagger tightly in his hand. He pulled on a small smile, then he was gone.

It hurt so much to know that he hated the gods so much that he was willing to let everyone die for the path of his hatred. I clawed at my forearms trying to stop thinking about it. Trying to claw my way back to reality.

Gave stood in front of me, with a pissed expression on his face, he was taking his belt off his pants and wrapping it around his hand once or twice.

I pushed my dresser over, not wanting to watch this anymore. I kept punching shit, hoping to take my mind off it. I let out another scream, my voice already because rasping as more images flashed through my mind. After an hour of trashing my room and screaming I sit in the corner opposite of the door, having a panic attack. I couldn't breathe and was scared shitless about what Bruce will do to me when he finds out that I trashed my room. A small part of my brain told me that I was being stupid, but the other part told me that he hated me.

I saw the way he was looking at you after you yelled at him. He hates you, he's going to punch you into a pulp. I punched myself, the other hand holding onto my hair, " Your so stupid! Why would you do that?"

I couldn't breathe and my lungs felt withered and empty. The image of Bruce hitting me replayed in my mind along with Karen and Gabe. Slowly, pieces of Tartarus and monster fighting found its way into my mind. I couldn't breathe.

The world slowly started turning blacking and spinning. I felt so alone, and I looked at my trashed room. No one loved me enough to check up on me, no one cared enough. I'm just a screw up that no one likes and just pities. Those were my last thoughts, as my word turned black.

~~~

When I woke up, I was on my bed, and some of my room was put back together. The door was still closed but there was a path away from my bed to the door and an arch of hardwood floor centered at the door. I felt like crying again, as I thought of someone having to deal with me.

I was still very tired and didn't feel like doing anything. Then a thought come across my mind, an impossible thought, seeing as it was important. But drowning myself. It would be so simple, just fill the bathtub up with water and fall asleep. I didn't want to live like this anymore. Walking up from nightmares at midnight, screaming my head off. Clawing at my forearms, which are now scabbed over, trying to get back to real life. Panic attacked brought on by nothing. And fighting for a meaningless life.

I pushed my head into the pillow deep enough that I couldn't breathe. I could go like this. No screaming, little pain. It would be so much easier. Especially if I get brought down so easily like my life story and caught up in a panic. How weak am I?

My lungs started to burn when a knock was heard from my door. I brought my head out of the pillow, facing the other way of the door. The door creaked open and Dick stood there. He followed the path of cleared objects the sit at the foot of my bed. He placed a gentle hand on my legs, " Hey, Perc."

The slight crack in his voice made me was to throw up. It made me sick how much I hurt everyone, just proving my case, everyone would be better off without me.

" I'm sorry we pushed you. We shouldn't have done that. Bruce is really sorry about what he did, we all wanted to be there for you. We promise. I know you probably don't want to talk, so I'll let you be. But we all love you, Percy." Dick sighed after a few minutes of me not moving or breathing. He got up and closed the door behind him.

And all I could think about was the lies he just told me.

1124 words

12/9/20

Alright then. So the break down scene was definitely not my best but I wanted to give y'all an updated and is there any advice you'll could give me to make it better?

Also, if y'all need someone to take to I'm here. And if y'all need me to stop writing these emotion scene I can because I understand this is a touchy subject.

Anyway, school is finally halfway over and I'm on break so hopefully I can update more!

Pieces Angels and stay safe!