Good Omens Oneshots

12 - part 1

"I don't want to lose any more people." Gabriel told me.
"Me too." I say, guilt spills through my blood at the thought that he will lose me soon. "But it's not over, be prepared to see more angels fall." He nods, he is younger than me, but soon we will be on opposite sides, and he will grow up to hate me. Another angel fell right in front of us, the soft ground giving way beneath them, we rush to the hole they fell through, and watch them sink downwards, becoming a dot, getting smaller by the second.

Aziraphale, I think, I need to find Aziraphale, and say goodbye.

The memory shoots back to me, I don't know why, doesn't matter. I look up to where Aziraphale is, I would go over to him, but I have no reason to, besides, his old sofa is surprisingly comfortable. How nice would it be if he were to come here and sit down next to me, and then, if I could stretch my arm around him, and if he would rest his head on my shoulder, and maybe I could kiss him on his forehead, and it could be nice... won't happen, not a chance, but it would be nice if it would.

"Raphael!" Aziraphale calls me, "I'm so happy you're still here, so much is going on, and, apparently there is going to be a war, but I don't want to fight anyone!" He explains, stuttering and rushing towards me. We would never usually be this informal when others are around us, but this is different.
"Course I haven't fallen, why would I?" It's not technically a lie, but guilt still fills me, I need to face it, I am going to fall. In the future, when I have fallen, he won't remember me, maybe my name if he tries hard, but he won't remember me. Even if he did, then it would be just as bad because I'd have to live with myself knowing how much he would miss me, or maybe hate me.
"Angels are falling, Raphael, and it's horrible," he tells me.
"I know, I know." I try to comfort him, but that has never been my strong point.

Another memory, that's strange. Is someone trying to tell me something? I stand up and browse the books that I'll never read to take my mind off it for a while.

His wings are gorgeous, I think, admiring Aziraphale's large, outstretched wings. It's a strange way to do things; to make the size of wing represent your importance, but that's how it is, and Aziraphale is the Principality, so what else could you expect? I would hate to see them burn, and turn black and not have the angelic colour of white. He won't fall, I know that, he is too nice.

Then I think about my wings, I hate to brag (I actually love to brag which probably makes me more likely to fall anyway) but they are huge, even bigger and grander than Aziraphale's, but perhaps they are too big, whereas Aziraphale's are perfect. I think of my wings turning pitch black, burning. I know it will be more than a thought sooner or later. I don't really mind the thought of falling apart from leaving Aziraphale and the other Archangels behind, although I will be sad that I will no longer be an Archangel. It's quite nice to be so important.

Another flashback. I sigh. Then a book catches my eye, and I never thought I'd say that. I don't know why, but I seem to have sauntered over to the angelology and demonology section. I glance around, making sure nobody is watching, and there's a chance I may or may not have performed a quick demonic intervention to stop anyone looking if they were going to.

I take the book from the shelf, and read the title.
Archangel Raphael
I put it back. I wonder how much would be accurate, but don't want to risk being seen with it. I leave the shop instead.

"Bye angel," I call, hoping he will hear.
"Bye Crowley, see you tomorrow?"
"Yeah sure." I saunter out, and miracle myself back to my flat. Why are all these memories coming back? And is it just coincidence that I saw a book about my past on the same day? Maybe it's a trick, from downstairs, maybe upstairs, maybe even God Herself. Does it matter? Why is it happening though?

I look at Aziraphale, and I can feel fear showing in my eyes, he looks back at me, confused, then he looks down, and sees the patch of grey beginning to form at my feet. I kiss him. I might as well, he won't remember me once I fall. He kisses back. This could be the last moment we have together. We break apart, and I glance around in hope for something to grab onto, but I see Gabriel, running towards me. Guilt is the worst feeling. We were friends, and now he looks completely heartbroken.

"Raphael" he calls out quietly, I feel like I have betrayed him. I look back at Aziraphale, I am a traitor. He is just as scared as me.

The grey under my feet darkens and turns into a hole, and I fall.

I wake up. It wasn't a dream, it was a memory. I sigh; even sleeping can't get me away from it, so I stand up and walk to the plants, hissing at them. I don't know what to do next.

There is a bright flash, and Gabriel appears. I hate Gabriel. He used to be okay but now I really hate him. Why the fuck is he here? Suddenly I am very aware that my shades are on my bedside table. I hiss at him.
"Give me a chance before discorporating me," he starts, I hiss for the third time in the last five minutes but don't object to him being here; maybe he knows something. "Ok," he continues after realising I am letting him stay for now, "have you been having memories come back to you?" I nod suspiciously. What is it this time?

"What have you done up there?" I hiss, I hope he leaves soon, or at least gets to the point.

"Nothing, we wanted to know whether your side had done something." He explained defensively.

"We?" I ask.

"All the Archangels have been having them, and if you have, I assume former Archangels too." He says, I raise an eyebrow, does he remember me? Must do.

"Why?" I ask, I'm not enjoying this and hope it's over soon.

"How should we know?"
"Then why are you here?"
"Dunno."
"Leave then."
"I remembered you."
"How lovely. Leave."
"Raphael."
"It's Crowley actually."
He gives me a glare. "Could you at least ask around on your side?"
"Ugh, no, I thought it was clear me and Aziraphale were to be left alone now." Gabriel just vanished and went presumably back to Heaven. I feel guilty about the past, especially if he remembers. I shouldn't though, I still hate him anyway.

I decide to water the plants and shout at them for the rest of the night. This must be something to do with Heaven, Gabriel is lying (isn't he?) which is quite a crime for an angel. Maybe I should check it out downstairs.

A/N
Sorry, this is turning into a really long story, I will do a second part but thanks so much for reading this far in. Please point out mistakes.